Gita on Relationships: You’re Not Losing Them, You’re Finding Yourself
Riya Kumari | Jul 18, 2025, 15:09 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
Highlight of the story: You know that moment in a romcom when the lead realizes that the relationship wasn’t the story, it was just the opening scene? The montage ends, the credits haven’t even rolled yet, and suddenly, bam, you're single, spiraling, and asking your barista if oat milk has emotional healing properties. So there you are, post-breakup, lying on the floor like a budget-version Juliet, whispering to the universe: Why do I keep losing people?
The Gita doesn’t tell us to stop loving. It doesn’t say to detach and be numb. It tells us to act with intention, but without obsession over the result. This one line alone, “You have a right to your actions, but not to the fruits of your actions”, can change your entire view of relationships. You can love someone with everything you have. You can give, commit, care. But the moment you believe their staying is the proof that your love was real, you’ve handed over your peace to a moving target. People will leave. Sometimes gently. Sometimes recklessly. But what remains is who you became in that relationship and what you choose to carry forward.
We confuse endings with failure. But the Gita reframes all of it: “Whatever happened, happened for good.” This isn’t blind optimism. It’s clarity. It’s realizing that the person who left taught you something no book could. Maybe they reflected your patterns. Maybe they mirrored your fears. Maybe they were simply meant to teach you how to stop abandoning yourself.
We think we’re broken because something didn’t last. But not everything that ends is meant to be mourned forever. Some things end so you can start existing more truthfully.
We often hold on because we’re afraid of what we’ll be without them. But Krishna speaks of non-attachment—not as cold indifference, but as emotional clarity. Love should not feel like survival.
When you love someone and still remember who you are without them, that’s strength. When you give your heart but not your identity, that’s wisdom. And when you let go not because they’re unworthy, but because you finally are self-worthy, that’s freedom.
Relationships end. That doesn’t always mean someone was wrong. Sometimes people simply grow in different directions. Sometimes what brought you together is no longer what keeps you aligned. You’re allowed to grieve. But you’re also allowed to move on without turning your history into your prison.
Gita teaches: nothing is permanent but the Self. So let people go without writing them into your future if they’re not meant to be there. Don’t cling to what’s expired just because it once made you feel alive.
That’s the real shift. Not in the world outside, but in the one within. It takes courage to walk away from people you once saw your future with. But sometimes it takes more courage to finally see a future without them, and still believe it’s beautiful. Your worth does not lie in who chooses you.
Your peace does not depend on who apologizes. Your purpose isn’t waiting at the end of a perfect relationship. It’s already here. With you. Within you. Always.
Not every goodbye is a heartbreak. Some are doorways. And some are mirrors. And some… are just the truth finally setting you free. Let the people who leave teach you what you no longer need to chase.Let the pain clean you, not define you. And let the Gita remind you: every time you think you’re losing them, you're actually, finally, finding you.
Pain isn’t punishment. It’s information
We confuse endings with failure. But the Gita reframes all of it: “Whatever happened, happened for good.” This isn’t blind optimism. It’s clarity. It’s realizing that the person who left taught you something no book could. Maybe they reflected your patterns. Maybe they mirrored your fears. Maybe they were simply meant to teach you how to stop abandoning yourself.
We think we’re broken because something didn’t last. But not everything that ends is meant to be mourned forever. Some things end so you can start existing more truthfully.
Attachment isn’t the same as love
We often hold on because we’re afraid of what we’ll be without them. But Krishna speaks of non-attachment—not as cold indifference, but as emotional clarity. Love should not feel like survival.
When you love someone and still remember who you are without them, that’s strength. When you give your heart but not your identity, that’s wisdom. And when you let go not because they’re unworthy, but because you finally are self-worthy, that’s freedom.
The ones who leave aren’t always the villains. And the ones who stay aren’t always right for you
Relationships end. That doesn’t always mean someone was wrong. Sometimes people simply grow in different directions. Sometimes what brought you together is no longer what keeps you aligned. You’re allowed to grieve. But you’re also allowed to move on without turning your history into your prison.
Gita teaches: nothing is permanent but the Self. So let people go without writing them into your future if they’re not meant to be there. Don’t cling to what’s expired just because it once made you feel alive.
So no, you're not losing them. You're returning to you
That’s the real shift. Not in the world outside, but in the one within. It takes courage to walk away from people you once saw your future with. But sometimes it takes more courage to finally see a future without them, and still believe it’s beautiful. Your worth does not lie in who chooses you.
Your peace does not depend on who apologizes. Your purpose isn’t waiting at the end of a perfect relationship. It’s already here. With you. Within you. Always.
If you needed a sign that you're not lost, this is it
Not every goodbye is a heartbreak. Some are doorways. And some are mirrors. And some… are just the truth finally setting you free. Let the people who leave teach you what you no longer need to chase.Let the pain clean you, not define you. And let the Gita remind you: every time you think you’re losing them, you're actually, finally, finding you.