Chanakya Niti - How to Deal With Attention Seekers

You know the type. The ones who turn every conversation into a monologue, every gathering into their personal stage. They thrive on being the center of attention, twisting even the most mundane situations into a dramatic spectacle. At first, you think it’s harmless—maybe even entertaining. But over time, something feels off. Conversations with them leave you drained. Their presence shifts the focus away from anything meaningful and turns it into an endless cycle of their needs, their feelings, their life. And if, by chance, you dare to step away, they will find a way to pull you back in—through guilt, manipulation, or sheer volume. So how do you deal with them without becoming bitter, exhausted, or worse—one of them? Let’s break it down.


Chanakya believed that resources should be allocated with precision. And if there’s one thing an attention seeker desperately wants from you, it’s your time, focus, and energy. The problem? They don’t give anything back. They drain without replenishing. And if you let them, they will consume all the space in your mind, leaving nothing for what truly matters. Let them feel like they’ve “won” your attention without actually giving them anything of substance. It’s the emotional equivalent of handing a toddler a fake phone and watching them babble away.
Your attention is valuable. Where you place it shapes your thoughts, your emotions, and ultimately, your life. If you give it away freely to those who constantly demand it without adding meaning to your world, you’re making a poor investment. A simple rule: if someone’s presence consistently leaves you feeling exhausted rather than enriched, it’s time to cut back. Reduce engagement. Redirect focus. Reinvest your energy where it actually grows into something worthwhile. Not all conversations deserve your participation. Not all performances deserve an audience.


Chanakya understood that silence is a weapon. A well-placed pause can shift power faster than a thousand words. Attention seekers, however, fear silence. They need constant engagement to feel validated. If you respond, even with frustration, you are still feeding their need. But when you stop reacting? They lose their grip. So, the next time they pull one of their Look At Me stunts, try this: nothing. No gasp. No wide-eyed response. No engaging follow-up questions. Just a casual “Hmm” and a topic change so swift it gives them conversational whiplash.
If someone constantly interrupts you to steer the conversation back to themselves, stop competing. Let the silence sit. Watch as they scramble to fill it. In doing so, they reveal their own insecurities without you having to lift a finger. Most people mistake loudness for power. The wise know that true power is found in restraint.


Chanakya was a master of detachment. Not in the sense of emotional coldness, but in the ability to remain untouched by the chaos around him. Attention seekers operate by pulling others into their orbit. They test boundaries, demand validation, and create a sense of urgency around their needs. If you’re not careful, you’ll find yourself reacting to their highs and lows as if they were your own. While they’re performing their one-person show, you’re casually scrolling, checking your emails, or—if you’re feeling particularly savage—asking someone else about their day. Attention seekers crave one thing: to matter more than anyone else in the room. So, by shifting your focus elsewhere, you hit them where it hurts.
But here’s the truth: you don’t have to attend every argument, every emotional breakdown, or every performance they put on. Detachment doesn’t mean indifference—it means perspective. It means recognizing when something is not yours to fix, absorb, or carry. When you stop allowing their energy to dictate your emotions, you take back control. And the moment they realize they no longer have that control over you? That’s the moment you win.


Some people are not looking for connection. They are looking for an audience. Chanakya advised kings on the importance of knowing when to engage and when to withdraw. The same applies here. If someone in your life consistently drains you, manipulates through attention-seeking tactics, or refuses to engage in balanced conversations, the most strategic move might be to walk away. Chanakya knew that some people are simply too much, and the best way to win is to not play their game. Attention seekers aren’t your responsibility. You don’t have to entertain them, react to them, or even acknowledge their manufactured theatrics.
Not every relationship is meant to be saved. Some are meant to be outgrown. And if someone is holding you back—consuming space that could be filled with deeper, more meaningful interactions—then choosing distance isn’t cruelty. It’s wisdom.

Attention seekers are everywhere. Some are harmless, some are exhausting, and some are outright toxic. But they all operate on the same principle: they take as much attention as they are given. Chanakya’s wisdom teaches us that power lies in control—control of where we place our energy, how we react, and what we allow to influence us. So the next time you find yourself trapped in the gravitational pull of an attention seeker, ask yourself: Is this a valuable use of my focus? If the answer is no, step back. Redirect. Detach. Because at the end of the day, your peace of mind is more valuable than their need for validation.