Chanakya Niti: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think of You
Riya Kumari | Dec 22, 2024, 02:41 IST
Let’s start with a question you probably haven’t said out loud but have felt in your bones: Why do I care so much about what they think? And for what? Approval? Validation? Permission to just…be? Here’s the hard truth: No amount of approval will ever be enough. You’ll twist yourself into a thousand shapes trying to meet expectations that shift like sand, and yet the fear remains. Fear of judgment. Fear of rejection. Fear that if you don’t fit their mold, you’ll somehow fall short.
It’s terrifying, isn’t it? The thought of living for yourself. The thought of finally saying, Enough. But it’s also freeing in a way that words can’t fully capture. And that’s where Chanakya’s ancient wisdom steps in. You don’t have to live like this. You don’t have to spend another day contorting yourself into a version of you that pleases the world but suffocates your soul. This isn’t just advice. It’s a transformation. And trust me—you’ll come out of it more alive than you ever thought possible.
Step 1: People Will Judge. Let Them.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: people are going to judge you no matter what you do. You could follow every rule, wear every mask, and play it as safe as possible, and still, someone will find a reason to comment. Chanakya’s wisdom tells us this isn’t something to fear—it’s something to accept. Think about it: why does someone else’s opinion hold so much weight? Most of the time, what they say has less to do with you and more to do with their own insecurities or biases. That colleague who criticizes your work? Maybe they’re scared you’ll outshine them. The relative who questions your life choices? They’re projecting their own regrets. So, instead of trying to dodge judgment, let it come. Shrug it off. Live in a way that feels true to you, not in a way that’s meant to keep others comfortable.
Step 2: Focus on What Actually Matters
Chanakya believed that life without purpose is like a ship without direction. And here’s where it gets real: the more you let other people’s opinions influence you, the further you drift from your purpose. Imagine this—you’re living your life trying to make everyone else happy. You pick the "safe" career, the "acceptable" hobbies, the "respectable" choices. But somewhere along the way, you realize you’re miserable. Because all those choices weren’t really yours.
Living for others is exhausting. Living for yourself? That’s freedom. Ask yourself: what do you want? What excites you, challenges you, or makes your soul feel alive? That’s your purpose. Lock onto it, and don’t let anyone’s opinions steer you off course.
Step 3: Ego Is What Keeps You Stuck
Caring about what others think often comes from the ego. It’s that part of you that wants to be liked, admired, or respected. But here’s the problem with ego: it’s insatiable. Even if you get the approval you’re chasing, you’ll always want more. Chanakya’s philosophy reminds us to look beyond the ego. Real strength isn’t about proving yourself to others—it’s about being secure in who you are, even when no one’s clapping. Letting go of ego doesn’t mean giving up. It means you stop tying your worth to someone else’s validation. Ask yourself: will their approval matter in a year? Five years? If not, let it go. Focus instead on building a life that feels good to live, not one that looks good from the outside.
Step 4: Learn to Trust Yourself
When the world’s noise gets loud, it’s easy to lose touch with your own instincts. That’s what happens when you spend too much time seeking advice or worrying about being judged. But here’s the thing: no one knows your life better than you do. Grief, failure, and hard times teach a valuable lesson—they force you to listen to yourself. In those moments, when you have nothing but your own strength to lean on, you realize just how much you’re capable of. So, trust that voice inside you. It knows what’s right for you. It knows when to take risks, when to walk away, and when to stay the course. The more you trust it, the quieter the opinions around you become.
Step 5: You Are Not What They Think of You
Here’s a truth that takes time to sink in: you are not defined by what others say about you. You’re not their criticism, their envy, or even their praise. Your worth isn’t determined by a stranger’s comment or a fleeting opinion. Chanakya’s teachings remind us that life isn’t about impressing others. It’s about mastering yourself. When you stop living for the audience, you start creating a life that feels deeply, authentically your own.
Step 1: People Will Judge. Let Them.
Makeup
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: people are going to judge you no matter what you do. You could follow every rule, wear every mask, and play it as safe as possible, and still, someone will find a reason to comment. Chanakya’s wisdom tells us this isn’t something to fear—it’s something to accept. Think about it: why does someone else’s opinion hold so much weight? Most of the time, what they say has less to do with you and more to do with their own insecurities or biases. That colleague who criticizes your work? Maybe they’re scared you’ll outshine them. The relative who questions your life choices? They’re projecting their own regrets. So, instead of trying to dodge judgment, let it come. Shrug it off. Live in a way that feels true to you, not in a way that’s meant to keep others comfortable.
Step 2: Focus on What Actually Matters
Carefree
Chanakya believed that life without purpose is like a ship without direction. And here’s where it gets real: the more you let other people’s opinions influence you, the further you drift from your purpose. Imagine this—you’re living your life trying to make everyone else happy. You pick the "safe" career, the "acceptable" hobbies, the "respectable" choices. But somewhere along the way, you realize you’re miserable. Because all those choices weren’t really yours.
Living for others is exhausting. Living for yourself? That’s freedom. Ask yourself: what do you want? What excites you, challenges you, or makes your soul feel alive? That’s your purpose. Lock onto it, and don’t let anyone’s opinions steer you off course.
Step 3: Ego Is What Keeps You Stuck
Empty seat
Caring about what others think often comes from the ego. It’s that part of you that wants to be liked, admired, or respected. But here’s the problem with ego: it’s insatiable. Even if you get the approval you’re chasing, you’ll always want more. Chanakya’s philosophy reminds us to look beyond the ego. Real strength isn’t about proving yourself to others—it’s about being secure in who you are, even when no one’s clapping. Letting go of ego doesn’t mean giving up. It means you stop tying your worth to someone else’s validation. Ask yourself: will their approval matter in a year? Five years? If not, let it go. Focus instead on building a life that feels good to live, not one that looks good from the outside.
Step 4: Learn to Trust Yourself
Step forward
When the world’s noise gets loud, it’s easy to lose touch with your own instincts. That’s what happens when you spend too much time seeking advice or worrying about being judged. But here’s the thing: no one knows your life better than you do. Grief, failure, and hard times teach a valuable lesson—they force you to listen to yourself. In those moments, when you have nothing but your own strength to lean on, you realize just how much you’re capable of. So, trust that voice inside you. It knows what’s right for you. It knows when to take risks, when to walk away, and when to stay the course. The more you trust it, the quieter the opinions around you become.
Step 5: You Are Not What They Think of You
Enjoy
Here’s a truth that takes time to sink in: you are not defined by what others say about you. You’re not their criticism, their envy, or even their praise. Your worth isn’t determined by a stranger’s comment or a fleeting opinion. Chanakya’s teachings remind us that life isn’t about impressing others. It’s about mastering yourself. When you stop living for the audience, you start creating a life that feels deeply, authentically your own.