Chanakya Niti on Love & Ego: How to Fix a Relationship After a Fight
Riya Kumari | Mar 12, 2025, 20:53 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
So, you’ve had a fight. A full-blown, door-slamming, dramatic pause-worthy fight. Maybe you said something you technically didn’t mean, or maybe your partner suddenly developed selective hearing when you clearly had a point. And now? Silence. Cold, bitter, tension-thick silence. Enter: Ego. That charming little gremlin in your head whispering, “Why should I text first? They should apologize. I was RIGHT.” But let’s rewind. Because if there’s one guy who had a PhD in human nature (without the student loans), it’s Chanakya—the ancient Indian strategist who could probably predict your relationship drama 2,000 years before you were even born.
There comes a moment in every relationship when two people, who usually adore each other, suddenly turn into opposing lawyers in a courtroom drama. One wrong word, one misunderstood tone, and boom—ego enters the chat. And now, you’re stuck. You replay the argument, overanalyze every word, and wait for them to make the first move. Because why should you? After all, weren’t they the one who—? Yeah. That’s how relationships break. Not in grand, dramatic ways, but in these small, stubborn moments where love takes a backseat to pride. Chanakya, the ancient Indian strategist, understood this long before you and I ever had our first argument. His wisdom wasn’t just about war and politics—it was about understanding human nature. And if there’s one thing he would tell you about love and ego, it’s this: If you let your ego decide, you may win the argument. But you will lose something far greater.
Step One: Ego Is Not Strength, It’s an Illusion
Ego is a liar. It tells you that apologizing makes you weak. That giving in means defeat. That if you back down first, you’ll be taken for granted. But here’s the truth: Love isn’t a game where someone wins and someone loses. There’s no scoreboard. The real loss happens when you let your pride stand between you and the person you love.
Chanakya would say that real strength lies in knowing when to bend, when to hold firm, and when to let go. In relationships, this means choosing connection over control. Choosing to understand, rather than to be understood. Because what’s more important? Being right, or being together?
Step Two: Apologies Are Not Transactions
Some people apologize to get it over with. A quick “fine, sorry” just to move past the awkwardness. But that’s not an apology. That’s damage control. A real apology isn’t about just saying the words—it’s about meaning them. Chanakya’s wisdom teaches us that in every conflict, both sides believe they are right. That’s human nature. The real test isn’t in proving your case, but in choosing to heal the relationship instead of your pride.
So, when you apologize, don’t do it to get an apology back. Don’t do it to settle the score. Do it because love is more important than being the one who "wins."
Step Three: The Bigger Picture
Step back for a moment. Think of the people who once meant everything to you, the ones you thought you’d never grow distant from. Now, they’re just names in your phone you don’t text anymore. How many of those relationships ended not because of one big event, but because of small, unresolved moments like this?
Chanakya’s wisdom reminds us that no empire falls in a day. It crumbles over time, through neglect, through arrogance, through an unwillingness to admit fault. Relationships are no different. It’s not the fights that destroy them—it’s what happens after the fight.
So, what’s the takeaway?
That silence you’re sitting in, waiting for them to text first? It’s a choice. That stubborn refusal to reach out? A choice. And with every choice, you either build something stronger or you let something beautiful slip away. At the end of the day, the question is simple: What matters more—your pride, or your person?
Step One: Ego Is Not Strength, It’s an Illusion
Love
( Image credit : Pexels )
Ego is a liar. It tells you that apologizing makes you weak. That giving in means defeat. That if you back down first, you’ll be taken for granted. But here’s the truth: Love isn’t a game where someone wins and someone loses. There’s no scoreboard. The real loss happens when you let your pride stand between you and the person you love.
Chanakya would say that real strength lies in knowing when to bend, when to hold firm, and when to let go. In relationships, this means choosing connection over control. Choosing to understand, rather than to be understood. Because what’s more important? Being right, or being together?
Step Two: Apologies Are Not Transactions
Sorry
( Image credit : Pexels )
Some people apologize to get it over with. A quick “fine, sorry” just to move past the awkwardness. But that’s not an apology. That’s damage control. A real apology isn’t about just saying the words—it’s about meaning them. Chanakya’s wisdom teaches us that in every conflict, both sides believe they are right. That’s human nature. The real test isn’t in proving your case, but in choosing to heal the relationship instead of your pride.
So, when you apologize, don’t do it to get an apology back. Don’t do it to settle the score. Do it because love is more important than being the one who "wins."
Step Three: The Bigger Picture
Fight
( Image credit : Pexels )
Step back for a moment. Think of the people who once meant everything to you, the ones you thought you’d never grow distant from. Now, they’re just names in your phone you don’t text anymore. How many of those relationships ended not because of one big event, but because of small, unresolved moments like this?
Chanakya’s wisdom reminds us that no empire falls in a day. It crumbles over time, through neglect, through arrogance, through an unwillingness to admit fault. Relationships are no different. It’s not the fights that destroy them—it’s what happens after the fight.