Don’t Force Love. What’s Meant for You Will Always Find Its Way - Bhagavad Gita
Riya Kumari | May 03, 2025, 23:58 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
So there I was—wrapped in my oversized hoodie, mid-binge of a breakup playlist that had no business being that good—and I stumbled upon a quote from The Bhagavad Gita. Yes, that Bhagavad Gita. The spiritual MVP. And it just casually said, “Don’t force love. What’s meant for you will find its way.”
We live in a time where effort is everything. If you want a job, you hustle. If you want a better body, you push. If you want peace, you meditate (hard). So naturally, when we want love, we chase. We swipe, we overthink, we wait for replies like they’re oxygen, and we invest—our time, our energy, our emotional bandwidth. But the truth is, real love doesn’t come that way. The Bhagavad Gita, a spiritual text far older than your favorite self-help book, puts it beautifully: Don’t force love. What’s meant for you will find its way. Not just poetic. Profound. And painfully relevant.
1. Stop Trying to Control What’s Not Yours to Control
Let’s start with the hard part: you can’t control love. You can’t decide when it arrives, how it looks, or whether someone else is ready for it. You can only control how you show up—for yourself. Forcing love—chasing after someone who’s unsure, trying to be "perfect" so someone will choose you, reading between messages that never said anything in the first place—is exhausting. And it's almost always a sign that you’re trying to override reality with willpower.
But the Gita doesn’t say "don’t try." It says don’t force. Which means you still show up. You still care. But you don’t beg. You don’t shrink. You don’t abandon your self-worth hoping someone else will find it valuable. Love that belongs to you doesn’t have to be trapped or talked into staying. It stays. Freely. Quietly. Fully.
2. Being Ready and Being Desperate Are Not the Same Thing
There’s a difference between wanting love and needing it like a lifeline. Many of us say we’re “ready” when what we really are is “uncomfortable being alone.” That’s not readiness. That’s urgency disguised as longing. And love born out of urgency rarely survives peace. It thrives on chaos—text fights, fear, inconsistent attention—and collapses the moment stability shows up.
True readiness is different. It’s when you can sit alone on a Sunday and feel whole. It’s when you’re not looking for someone to complete you, just someone to witness you. To meet you—not fill your empty spaces, but walk beside your fullness.
3. Timing Is a Spiritual Law, Not an Inconvenience
We hate waiting. We think it means we’re falling behind. That everyone else is getting their “happily ever after” while we’re stuck on read. But the Gita doesn’t treat time as punishment. It treats it as preparation. Sometimes the love you want is on the way, but it isn’t ripe yet.
Maybe the other person still has wounds that would only bleed into your life. Maybe you do. Maybe both of you need to go through things that make you better partners before you meet, so you don’t destroy something sacred just because you were impatient. What’s meant for you will come when it’s meant to—not a minute sooner. And that’s grace, not delay.
4. Love That’s Meant for You Will Choose You Back
We glorify one-sided love. We write songs and movies about it. The person who waits. The person who suffers. The person who holds on to hope, even when the signs all point elsewhere. But that’s not love. That’s attachment, and often, ego. Wanting someone because we’ve already emotionally invested. Because we thought this would be the one. Because letting go feels like failure.
But the Gita invites us to be wiser: if you have to push, pull, or plead—it’s not love. Love that’s real has room for you. It sees you clearly. It doesn’t make you earn safety or prove your worth. It doesn't disappear when things get serious or inconvenient. When it’s right, it won’t confuse you. It won’t punish you with silence. It will feel like stillness. Like trust. Like breathing easy again.
5. You’re Not “Too Much.” You’re Just Not Meant for the Wrong People
One of the cruelest tricks love plays on us is making us believe that we are the problem. That we were too intense. Too emotional. Too soft. Too hard. Too something. But the truth is: you were just not right for someone who wasn’t ready. And that’s not a failure. That’s alignment.
The Gita doesn’t say you need to change. It says you need to surrender. Which means trusting that your softness is strength. That your depth will be met one day. That love is not found by becoming less—it’s found by becoming more you.
Sometimes the Strongest Thing You Can Do Is… Wait
We’ve been taught that waiting is weakness. But in love, the real strength is in restraint. It’s in not chasing what doesn’t chase you back. It’s in staying kind to yourself while the world makes you feel behind. It’s in choosing peace over performance. The Bhagavad Gita isn’t just a scripture—it’s a mirror.
One that reflects back to you the truth you’ve always known but forgotten in moments of loneliness: You don’t have to force what’s already yours. You don’t have to beg for what’s meant to stay. You don’t have to break yourself to be held. Let love arrive in its time. And until then, become the kind of person you’d want love to find.
1. Stop Trying to Control What’s Not Yours to Control
Texting
( Image credit : Pexels )
Let’s start with the hard part: you can’t control love. You can’t decide when it arrives, how it looks, or whether someone else is ready for it. You can only control how you show up—for yourself. Forcing love—chasing after someone who’s unsure, trying to be "perfect" so someone will choose you, reading between messages that never said anything in the first place—is exhausting. And it's almost always a sign that you’re trying to override reality with willpower.
But the Gita doesn’t say "don’t try." It says don’t force. Which means you still show up. You still care. But you don’t beg. You don’t shrink. You don’t abandon your self-worth hoping someone else will find it valuable. Love that belongs to you doesn’t have to be trapped or talked into staying. It stays. Freely. Quietly. Fully.
2. Being Ready and Being Desperate Are Not the Same Thing
Meditataion
( Image credit : Pexels )
There’s a difference between wanting love and needing it like a lifeline. Many of us say we’re “ready” when what we really are is “uncomfortable being alone.” That’s not readiness. That’s urgency disguised as longing. And love born out of urgency rarely survives peace. It thrives on chaos—text fights, fear, inconsistent attention—and collapses the moment stability shows up.
True readiness is different. It’s when you can sit alone on a Sunday and feel whole. It’s when you’re not looking for someone to complete you, just someone to witness you. To meet you—not fill your empty spaces, but walk beside your fullness.
3. Timing Is a Spiritual Law, Not an Inconvenience
Hug
( Image credit : Pexels )
We hate waiting. We think it means we’re falling behind. That everyone else is getting their “happily ever after” while we’re stuck on read. But the Gita doesn’t treat time as punishment. It treats it as preparation. Sometimes the love you want is on the way, but it isn’t ripe yet.
Maybe the other person still has wounds that would only bleed into your life. Maybe you do. Maybe both of you need to go through things that make you better partners before you meet, so you don’t destroy something sacred just because you were impatient. What’s meant for you will come when it’s meant to—not a minute sooner. And that’s grace, not delay.
4. Love That’s Meant for You Will Choose You Back
Couple
( Image credit : Pexels )
We glorify one-sided love. We write songs and movies about it. The person who waits. The person who suffers. The person who holds on to hope, even when the signs all point elsewhere. But that’s not love. That’s attachment, and often, ego. Wanting someone because we’ve already emotionally invested. Because we thought this would be the one. Because letting go feels like failure.
But the Gita invites us to be wiser: if you have to push, pull, or plead—it’s not love. Love that’s real has room for you. It sees you clearly. It doesn’t make you earn safety or prove your worth. It doesn't disappear when things get serious or inconvenient. When it’s right, it won’t confuse you. It won’t punish you with silence. It will feel like stillness. Like trust. Like breathing easy again.
5. You’re Not “Too Much.” You’re Just Not Meant for the Wrong People
Separate ways
( Image credit : Pexels )
One of the cruelest tricks love plays on us is making us believe that we are the problem. That we were too intense. Too emotional. Too soft. Too hard. Too something. But the truth is: you were just not right for someone who wasn’t ready. And that’s not a failure. That’s alignment.
The Gita doesn’t say you need to change. It says you need to surrender. Which means trusting that your softness is strength. That your depth will be met one day. That love is not found by becoming less—it’s found by becoming more you.
Sometimes the Strongest Thing You Can Do Is… Wait
One that reflects back to you the truth you’ve always known but forgotten in moments of loneliness: You don’t have to force what’s already yours. You don’t have to beg for what’s meant to stay. You don’t have to break yourself to be held. Let love arrive in its time. And until then, become the kind of person you’d want love to find.