How to Deal with Someone Who Keeps Making the Same Mistakes – Bhagavad Gita
Riya Kumari | Apr 03, 2025, 23:51 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
You know that feeling when you’re watching a horror movie, and the protagonist—who, let’s be honest, is working with the IQ of a damp sponge—decides to investigate that noise in the basement? Yeah. That’s how it feels dealing with someone who keeps making the same mistakes. Over and over. And over. Maybe it’s your friend who keeps dating human red flags. Maybe it’s your boss who thinks "urgent" means "ignore until it's a fire." Maybe it’s you (deep breaths, self-awareness is a journey).
There’s a certain frustration in watching someone repeat the same mistake. You see it coming. You warn them. They nod, swear they’ve learned, and then—like clockwork—walk straight into the same wall again. It’s almost poetic. Almost. Maybe it’s a friend stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage. Maybe it’s a sibling who never takes responsibility. Maybe it’s someone who refuses to listen, despite all the ways life keeps trying to teach them. Or maybe, if you’re being truly honest, it’s you. The Bhagavad Gita offers an answer to this—one that isn’t just about patience, but about perspective. Because at its core, this isn’t about them changing. It’s about you understanding.
One of the most repeated messages in the Gita is that each soul has its own path. Krishna tells Arjuna: “You have the right to perform your duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions.” (2.47)
What does this mean in the real world? It means you can guide, you can advise, you can even plead—but you cannot control. Someone else’s growth is not your responsibility. You are not the writer of their story, only a character in it. And the sooner you accept that, the lighter your heart will feel.
Krishna didn’t force Arjuna to fight. He didn’t command, he explained. He offered knowledge, but what Arjuna did with that knowledge was up to him.
Wisdom works the same way. You cannot force someone to see what they’re not ready for. No matter how clear the lesson is to you, they will only learn when they are ready. And readiness often comes through experience—not explanation.
The Gita speaks of Vairagya—detachment. But detachment doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop tying your emotions to someone else’s choices.
Loving someone means wanting the best for them. But real love also respects their journey, even when it’s hard to watch. It’s saying, “I am here for you, but I cannot walk this path for you.” It’s understanding that sometimes, the most painful lessons are also the most necessary.
Think of the biggest lessons you’ve learned. The ones that truly changed you. Chances are, they weren’t from someone else’s warnings. They were from experience.
This is how most people learn—not through words, but through consequences. Sometimes, the most compassionate thing you can do is let life teach them. Not out of spite. Not to prove a point. But because some lessons can only be understood through living them.
5. Your Peace is Your Own Responsibility
The Gita constantly reminds us that peace isn’t about controlling the world—it’s about mastering the self. If someone else’s mistakes are stealing your peace, that is something you need to address, not them.
Ask yourself: Why am I so attached to their change? Is it because I want the best for them? Or is it because their choices are disrupting my idea of how things should be? The truth is, people will keep making mistakes. Some will learn. Some won’t. But your peace does not have to depend on either.
In the End, It’s Not About Them—It’s About You
The real question isn’t why do they keep making the same mistakes? It’s why does it bother me so much? Understanding this shifts everything. Because once you stop trying to change someone, you free yourself. You become a source of wisdom, not control. A guide, not a judge. A presence of peace, not frustration. And that? That changes everything.
1. You Are Not the Architect of Another’s Journey
Path
( Image credit : Pexels )
One of the most repeated messages in the Gita is that each soul has its own path. Krishna tells Arjuna: “You have the right to perform your duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions.” (2.47)
What does this mean in the real world? It means you can guide, you can advise, you can even plead—but you cannot control. Someone else’s growth is not your responsibility. You are not the writer of their story, only a character in it. And the sooner you accept that, the lighter your heart will feel.
2. Wisdom Cannot Be Given, Only Received
Ready
( Image credit : Pexels )
Krishna didn’t force Arjuna to fight. He didn’t command, he explained. He offered knowledge, but what Arjuna did with that knowledge was up to him.
Wisdom works the same way. You cannot force someone to see what they’re not ready for. No matter how clear the lesson is to you, they will only learn when they are ready. And readiness often comes through experience—not explanation.
3. Detachment is Not Indifference—It’s Love Without Conditions
Care
( Image credit : Pexels )
The Gita speaks of Vairagya—detachment. But detachment doesn’t mean you stop caring. It means you stop tying your emotions to someone else’s choices.
Loving someone means wanting the best for them. But real love also respects their journey, even when it’s hard to watch. It’s saying, “I am here for you, but I cannot walk this path for you.” It’s understanding that sometimes, the most painful lessons are also the most necessary.
4. Let Life Be the Teacher
Learn
( Image credit : Pexels )
Think of the biggest lessons you’ve learned. The ones that truly changed you. Chances are, they weren’t from someone else’s warnings. They were from experience.
This is how most people learn—not through words, but through consequences. Sometimes, the most compassionate thing you can do is let life teach them. Not out of spite. Not to prove a point. But because some lessons can only be understood through living them.
5. Your Peace is Your Own Responsibility
Peace
( Image credit : Pexels )
The Gita constantly reminds us that peace isn’t about controlling the world—it’s about mastering the self. If someone else’s mistakes are stealing your peace, that is something you need to address, not them.
Ask yourself: Why am I so attached to their change? Is it because I want the best for them? Or is it because their choices are disrupting my idea of how things should be? The truth is, people will keep making mistakes. Some will learn. Some won’t. But your peace does not have to depend on either.