If They Want to Misunderstand You, Let Them (They’ll Hear What They Want) - Bhagavad Gita
Riya Kumari | May 03, 2025, 23:49 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
Once upon a recent Tuesday (because of course it was a Tuesday—chaotic neutral of the week), I found myself mid-text spiral, crafting the perfect paragraph to explain my tone, my context, my intentions to someone who had already decided I was the villain in their self-authored drama. And somewhere between “Hey, I just meant—” and “I think you misunderstood what I was saying about your cat’s gluten-free diet,” it hit me.
Some people aren't confused. They’ve just already decided who you are. And it’s not your job to rewrite their script. Let’s start with something we all need to hear, sooner rather than later: You do not have to explain yourself to everyone. Especially not to those who are determined not to understand you. We’ve all been there—stuck in a conversation that feels like emotional quicksand. You say something, and before your sentence even lands, it’s already been twisted, repackaged, and sent back with accusations you didn’t earn. You try to clarify, to soften, to correct, but somehow the more you explain, the deeper you sink. And here's the truth: some people don’t misunderstand you because they’re confused. They misunderstand you because it serves them.
The Comfort of Misjudgment
For many, a simplified version of you—flawed, rude, selfish, “too much”—is more comfortable than the real you. It allows them to stay right. To feel superior. To keep you small enough that they never have to confront their own reflection in your words.
They’ve already written the story in their head. And in that version, you’re the one with the bad intentions. So anything you say will be cast as manipulation. Any silence will be framed as arrogance. Any emotion will be twisted into guilt. You could hand them your entire heart, annotated and footnoted, and they’d still accuse you of hiding something.
Not Everyone Deserves the Full Story
There’s a quiet dignity in restraint. Not everything has to be defended. Not every version of your truth needs to be unpacked like a suitcase for someone who’s already decided they don’t like the destination. Explanations are for people who care enough to listen. Not just hear—but listen. That’s rare. And rare things shouldn’t be wasted.
We live in a world that encourages us to over-explain ourselves: in texts, in DMs, in carefully worded posts, in circular arguments that leave us exhausted. But self-awareness does not mean you owe everyone a press release every time they get you wrong. Growth also means knowing when to stop.
You Are Not a Mirror for Their Projections
Sometimes, when people don’t understand you, it’s not about you at all. It’s about what you trigger in them. Your honesty might threaten their denial. Your boundaries might expose their lack of them. Your calm might remind them how reactive they’ve become. And instead of owning that, they make it about you. That’s easier.
But the moment you internalize that misjudgment, you abandon yourself to explain something that was never yours to carry in the first place. You’re not responsible for how others choose to interpret your truth. Especially when they’re not seeking truth—just confirmation.
Wisdom Knows When to Walk
Here’s the kind of maturity we don’t talk about enough: The maturity to not engage. Not because you’re afraid. But because you’ve evolved. You’re not cold. You’re clear. You’ve realized that peace is more valuable than being understood by everyone. That you can love someone and still not chase their approval. That clarity is sometimes silent. And that people who truly know your heart won’t need a PowerPoint presentation to believe it.
When someone wants to misunderstand you, let them. Let them think what they need to think. Let them sit with the version of you that fits their narrative. You don’t have to break your back to reshape it.
Choose Your Energy Like You Choose Your Friends
You’re allowed to be misunderstood. You’re allowed to not fight back. You’re allowed to know who you are and still let them get it wrong. That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom. So the next time you feel the urge to explain, to fix, to defend—pause. Ask yourself: Is this person even open to understanding me? Or are they just building a case against me, no matter what I say? Then choose accordingly.
Because your energy is sacred. And your story, your real one—it deserves listeners, not prosecutors. Let them misunderstand. And keep walking. Some truths don’t need defending. They just need living.
The Comfort of Misjudgment
Blame
( Image credit : Pexels )
For many, a simplified version of you—flawed, rude, selfish, “too much”—is more comfortable than the real you. It allows them to stay right. To feel superior. To keep you small enough that they never have to confront their own reflection in your words.
They’ve already written the story in their head. And in that version, you’re the one with the bad intentions. So anything you say will be cast as manipulation. Any silence will be framed as arrogance. Any emotion will be twisted into guilt. You could hand them your entire heart, annotated and footnoted, and they’d still accuse you of hiding something.
Not Everyone Deserves the Full Story
Console
( Image credit : Pexels )
There’s a quiet dignity in restraint. Not everything has to be defended. Not every version of your truth needs to be unpacked like a suitcase for someone who’s already decided they don’t like the destination. Explanations are for people who care enough to listen. Not just hear—but listen. That’s rare. And rare things shouldn’t be wasted.
We live in a world that encourages us to over-explain ourselves: in texts, in DMs, in carefully worded posts, in circular arguments that leave us exhausted. But self-awareness does not mean you owe everyone a press release every time they get you wrong. Growth also means knowing when to stop.
You Are Not a Mirror for Their Projections
Angry
( Image credit : Pexels )
Sometimes, when people don’t understand you, it’s not about you at all. It’s about what you trigger in them. Your honesty might threaten their denial. Your boundaries might expose their lack of them. Your calm might remind them how reactive they’ve become. And instead of owning that, they make it about you. That’s easier.
But the moment you internalize that misjudgment, you abandon yourself to explain something that was never yours to carry in the first place. You’re not responsible for how others choose to interpret your truth. Especially when they’re not seeking truth—just confirmation.
Wisdom Knows When to Walk
Peace
( Image credit : Pexels )
Here’s the kind of maturity we don’t talk about enough: The maturity to not engage. Not because you’re afraid. But because you’ve evolved. You’re not cold. You’re clear. You’ve realized that peace is more valuable than being understood by everyone. That you can love someone and still not chase their approval. That clarity is sometimes silent. And that people who truly know your heart won’t need a PowerPoint presentation to believe it.
When someone wants to misunderstand you, let them. Let them think what they need to think. Let them sit with the version of you that fits their narrative. You don’t have to break your back to reshape it.
Choose Your Energy Like You Choose Your Friends
Because your energy is sacred. And your story, your real one—it deserves listeners, not prosecutors. Let them misunderstand. And keep walking. Some truths don’t need defending. They just need living.