If You’re Always Confused, It’s Probably Not Love — Gita Explains
Riya Kumari | Apr 18, 2025, 00:00 IST
So, there I was—again—refreshing my texts like a stock market app, wondering if ghosting is just his love language. Spoiler alert: it’s not. Let’s be real. We’ve all been there—sipping cold coffee that was hot three hours ago because we were too busy overanalyzing a three-word text: “U up tho?” Modern dating is a masterclass in uncertainty, like playing emotional dodgeball blindfolded. But what if I told you this whole rollercoaster of “Do they like me?” “Was that sarcasm or sincerity?” “Are we exclusive or just sharing Spotify playlists?”—is actually the opposite of what love is supposed to feel like?
We don’t usually think of the Bhagavad Gita when we’re crying over a “hey” text that leads nowhere. Or when we’re asking our friends for the 8th time, “Do you think they like me or am I just overthinking it?” And yet, the Gita has something quietly powerful to say about exactly this kind of confusion—the kind that seeps into your mind when love starts to feel like anxiety in disguise. It reminds us that love, in its true form, doesn’t come wrapped in doubt. And if you’re constantly confused—it’s probably not love.
What the Gita Really Says
In Chapter 2, Krishna speaks to a deeply human feeling—confusion. Arjuna is standing on a battlefield, overwhelmed, emotional, and completely unsure of what to do next. And Krishna says something that applies as much to heartbreak as it does to war: “When your mind is confused by conflicting duties and desires, you lose clarity. From that loss comes forgetfulness of your purpose. And from that forgetfulness comes ruin.”
The Gita doesn’t just speak in metaphors. It speaks in truths that apply everywhere—even in love. Because what Arjuna was feeling is what many of us feel in relationships that drain us: confusion, attachment, fear, and that sneaky whisper of self-doubt—“Is this what love is supposed to feel like?” The Gita says no.
Love Is Not Meant to Feel Like Uncertainty
If you're always guessing where you stand, that's not romantic tension. That’s instability. And your heart wasn’t built to survive off of breadcrumbs. We’ve grown up watching movies and listening to songs that tell us love should be dramatic. Tortured. Complicated. But the Gita gently disagrees. It says real love brings steadiness. Not confusion.
Not a constant loop of “What did they mean by that?” Not that sinking feeling when the message says “online” but your phone stays silent. Not waiting for someone else to choose you, while you quietly un-choose yourself.
Why We Stay Anyway
Because we think love has to hurt a little to mean something. Because we believe confusion is part of the magic. Because somewhere along the way, we started equating silence with mystery and inconsistency with passion. But the Gita says: when the mind is disturbed by attachment—when you're too tied to what you hope it becomes—you lose clarity.
And once that happens, you're no longer seeing the person in front of you. You’re seeing your longing. You're in love with the possibility, not the person. And that’s why it hurts. You’re not being rejected by them—you’re being pulled away from your own center.
What Real Love Feels Like, According to the Gita
It’s stable. Not stagnant. It’s clear. Not calculated. It anchors you, not confuse you. And if you don’t feel that? Then no matter how much you want it to be love—it probably isn’t. Not in the sense the Gita describes.
Because when something is right for you, your mind quiets down. Not because there are no problems, but because there is no fear. You stop trying to convince someone to stay. You stop overexplaining your worth. You stop asking the same question in five different ways hoping for a different answer.
The Wisdom We Forget
Sometimes, love isn’t the thing that makes us feel small and unsure. Sometimes, that’s our attachment speaking louder than our intuition. The Gita tells us: detach not from people, but from the illusion that you need someone to complete you.
Because when you detach from that illusion, you stop chasing confusion and start choosing clarity. You begin to recognize the difference between love and longing. Between presence and patterns. Between attention and affection. And the moment you do that, you return to yourself.
If You’re Confused All the Time, That’s Your Answer
Love is not a puzzle. It’s not a game. It’s not a trick where the winner is the one who can “care less.” Love is simple. Maybe not always easy—but never unclear. So the next time you're caught in a spiral, wondering what they feel, what they meant, what you did wrong—remember this: the Gita says confusion clouds wisdom.
And if you're constantly lost in someone else, you'll forget how to come home to yourself. Real love won't ask you to do that. In fact, it won’t even let you. And maybe that’s the kind of love worth waiting for—the kind that doesn’t need decoding. The kind that makes you feel found.
What the Gita Really Says
The Gita doesn’t just speak in metaphors. It speaks in truths that apply everywhere—even in love. Because what Arjuna was feeling is what many of us feel in relationships that drain us: confusion, attachment, fear, and that sneaky whisper of self-doubt—“Is this what love is supposed to feel like?” The Gita says no.
Love Is Not Meant to Feel Like Uncertainty
Not a constant loop of “What did they mean by that?” Not that sinking feeling when the message says “online” but your phone stays silent. Not waiting for someone else to choose you, while you quietly un-choose yourself.
Why We Stay Anyway
And once that happens, you're no longer seeing the person in front of you. You’re seeing your longing. You're in love with the possibility, not the person. And that’s why it hurts. You’re not being rejected by them—you’re being pulled away from your own center.
What Real Love Feels Like, According to the Gita
Because when something is right for you, your mind quiets down. Not because there are no problems, but because there is no fear. You stop trying to convince someone to stay. You stop overexplaining your worth. You stop asking the same question in five different ways hoping for a different answer.
The Wisdom We Forget
Because when you detach from that illusion, you stop chasing confusion and start choosing clarity. You begin to recognize the difference between love and longing. Between presence and patterns. Between attention and affection. And the moment you do that, you return to yourself.
If You’re Confused All the Time, That’s Your Answer
And if you're constantly lost in someone else, you'll forget how to come home to yourself. Real love won't ask you to do that. In fact, it won’t even let you. And maybe that’s the kind of love worth waiting for—the kind that doesn’t need decoding. The kind that makes you feel found.