Marriage Is a Transaction—And That’s Not a Bad Thing (Chanakya’s Perspective)
Riya Kumari | Mar 08, 2025, 23:59 IST
So, am I saying you should propose with a PowerPoint presentation titled “Why This Merger Makes Sense”? No (unless your partner is into that, in which case, wow—power couple energy). But I am saying that love alone isn’t enough. Compatibility matters. Shared values matter. The ability to coexist without wanting to strangle each other over thermostat settings? That matters. Chanakya understood that emotions fluctuate, but well-aligned interests? That’s a love story with staying power. So maybe it’s time we stopped treating “transactional” like a dirty word. Because at the end of the day, the best marriages aren’t just fairytales.
Let’s be honest—marriage has always been a transaction. Not in the cold, loveless way that makes people wince, but in the practical, real-world sense that no one likes to admit. Because while romance is beautiful, it’s not enough to keep two people together for a lifetime. Something stronger, more strategic, has to hold it in place. Chanakya, the ancient Indian thinker whose wisdom shaped empires, understood this. He saw marriage not as a fairy tale but as a partnership—one where emotions play a role, but logic writes the rules. And before you shake your head and say, “That’s not how love works,”—think again.
Look around. The happiest, most enduring marriages aren’t just built on passion; they’re built on alignment. Shared values. Complementary strengths. A deep understanding of what each person brings to the table and how that exchange keeps the relationship balanced. Call it a transaction, call it an agreement, call it whatever makes you comfortable—but the truth is, every marriage is a carefully structured give-and-take. The problem? Most people don’t think about this before they say I do.
They get swept up in the idea of love and assume it will sustain itself. But emotions fluctuate. Attraction fades, life happens, and if there’s no deeper foundation—no mutual investment in each other’s growth, stability, and well-being—the whole thing collapses under the weight of unmet expectations.
Chanakya believed that love without strategy is like wealth without management—it disappears. A strong marriage isn’t just about feeling right in the moment; it’s about being right for the long run.
Now, does this mean marriage should be purely calculated? Of course not. Love, care, and warmth make it worthwhile. But even the most heartfelt love needs an anchor. It needs clarity. It needs two people who recognize that beyond their emotions, they are also partners in a shared life—and that means contributing, compromising, and continually reinvesting in the relationship.
So, let’s stop pretending that marriage is some mystical force beyond logic. It’s the most important partnership we will ever enter, and like any great partnership, it thrives when both people understand what they’re building—together. Chanakya knew it then. Maybe it’s time we remember it now.
1. The Reality Beneath the Romance
They get swept up in the idea of love and assume it will sustain itself. But emotions fluctuate. Attraction fades, life happens, and if there’s no deeper foundation—no mutual investment in each other’s growth, stability, and well-being—the whole thing collapses under the weight of unmet expectations.
2. What Chanakya Knew That We Forget
- It’s not about finding the most attractive person, but the most compatible one.
- Not about grand gestures, but about consistency in effort.
- Not just about passion, but about a shared vision for life.
3. The Transaction That Feels Like Love
So, let’s stop pretending that marriage is some mystical force beyond logic. It’s the most important partnership we will ever enter, and like any great partnership, it thrives when both people understand what they’re building—together. Chanakya knew it then. Maybe it’s time we remember it now.