If We Are All Mirrors of Each Other, Why Is It So Hard to See Ourselves in Others?,
Nidhi | Mar 19, 2025, 21:45 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
The Bhagavad Gita teaches that all beings are interconnected, reflecting each other’s traits and energies. Yet, recognizing our own flaws and virtues in others remains one of the deepest human challenges. This article explores the spiritual and psychological barriers to self-recognition through Krishna’s teachings, offering insights on overcoming ego, projection, and emotional resistance to foster deeper self-awareness and empathy.
"तत्त्वमसि — That you are."
Ever wondered why it’s so easy to notice someone else’s flaws but so hard to confront our own? Why does that friend’s arrogance bother you so much? Or why does someone’s overconfidence feel so personal? Maybe it’s not them—it’s the reflection.
Krishna’s teachings in the Bhagavad Gita say that we are all connected through a shared divine essence (Brahman). Yet, when we look at others, we see differences instead of similarities. We judge, misunderstand, and sometimes even resent the very traits that we possess ourselves. The world is said to be a mirror—but why does that reflection feel distorted?
Imagine you’re talking to someone, and their impatience irritates you. Is it because they’re truly impatient, or because deep down, you struggle with your own lack of patience? Or maybe that friend’s emotional detachment hits hard because you’ve been guarding your own heart for too long.
It’s not easy to admit that the things we dislike in others are often reflections of unresolved truths within us. So, why is it so hard to see ourselves in others when, spiritually, we are supposed to be one? Let’s explore the barriers that keep us from recognizing ourselves in those around us—and how Krishna’s wisdom can help us dissolve them
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 3, Verse 27)
"The deluded self, under the influence of ego, thinks: 'I am the doer.'”
The ego (Ahamkara) creates the illusion that we are separate from others. It constructs an identity based on personal achievements, possessions, social status, and even failures. This identity becomes a wall between ourselves and others.
When we encounter someone whose beliefs, values, or lifestyle differ from ours, the ego responds defensively—"They are different from me. They don’t understand me." The ego thrives on comparison, constantly measuring others’ success or failure against our own.
Krishna teaches that the ego is not our true self—it is a mental construct. The more we identify with the ego, the more difficult it becomes to connect with others. Dissolving the ego doesn’t mean losing our individuality—it means understanding that beneath the layers of identity, we all share the same spiritual essence.
"वितरागभयक्रोधाः मन्मया मामुपाश्रिताः।"
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 4, Verse 10)
"Freed from attachment, fear, and anger, absorbed in Me—many have attained My state."
Recognizing ourselves in others means confronting our own flaws and insecurities. When someone reflects back our weaknesses—whether it’s arrogance, jealousy, or fear—it triggers discomfort.
For example, if we see someone struggling with self-doubt, it may remind us of our own inner critic. Instead of empathizing, we might react with judgment or distance to protect ourselves from that discomfort.
Krishna teaches that true connection requires vulnerability. To see yourself in others, you have to be willing to acknowledge your own imperfections. This means accepting that you, too, are capable of making mistakes—and that’s okay. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s the foundation of genuine human connection.
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 7, Verse 15)
"Those whose wisdom is stolen by illusion fall into a demonic state of mind."
Maya, the illusion of the material world, creates the belief that we are defined by our differences—culture, race, social class, religion, or political views. We see these external differences and assume they define the person beneath them.
This illusion leads to misunderstanding and conflict. We might think, “They’re from a different background; they’ll never understand me.” But Krishna teaches that these are surface-level identities. Beneath the illusion, we are all manifestations of the same divine energy.
To break through this illusion, we need to shift our focus from external labels to internal truth. Recognize that the soul (Atman) within each person is the same divine presence that resides within you. When you stop seeing through the lens of labels and differences, unity becomes possible.
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 6, Verse 5)
"Let one lift the self by the self; let one not lower the self."
What irritates us about others is often a reflection of what we have not yet resolved within ourselves. If someone’s arrogance angers you, it might be because you struggle with your own sense of inadequacy. If someone’s dishonesty offends you, it could stem from your internal conflict over truth and integrity.
Krishna teaches that the mind projects unresolved inner conflicts onto the external world. When we become aware of this pattern, we stop blaming others and start looking inward. Instead of reacting with anger or judgment, we can use these moments as opportunities for self-awareness and growth.
"तस्मादसक्तः सततं कार्यं कर्म समाचर।"
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 3, Verse 19)
"Therefore, always perform your duty without attachment. By performing actions without attachment, a person attains the Supreme."
We often seek validation from others—expecting them to reflect back an idealized version of ourselves. When they fail to meet these expectations, we feel hurt or disconnected.
Krishna teaches the principle of Nishkama Karma—performing actions without attachment to the outcome. When you approach relationships without the expectation of reciprocity, you create space for authentic connection.
Seeing yourself in others means accepting them as they are—not as you want them to be. Love without attachment leads to deeper trust and understanding.
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 18, Verse 54)
"One who has attained the state of Brahman, whose mind is serene, neither grieves nor desires."
Perfectionism creates distance between us and others. When we expect others to be perfect, we become critical and impatient when they fall short. Similarly, when we expect ourselves to be perfect, we struggle to accept our own flaws.
Krishna teaches that true peace comes from accepting imperfection—not trying to erase it. When you stop judging yourself and others for not being perfect, you create space for empathy and connection.
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 18, Verse 66)
"Abandon all varieties of religion and surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear."
Surrendering to Krishna’s teachings means letting go of the need to control how others perceive you. It means trusting that you are enough and that others are enough just as they are.
When you surrender ego, expectation, and attachment, you begin to see others not as strangers—but as reflections of the same divine light within you.
Krishna’s teachings remind us that connection is not about perfection—it’s about recognition. When we stop identifying with the ego and start identifying with the divine within us, we begin to see that same divinity in others.
Instead of seeing others through the lens of judgment, we begin to see them through the lens of compassion. In every face we encounter—whether it’s a friend, a stranger, or even an enemy—Krishna’s presence reflects back at us.
Seeing ourselves in others requires humility, vulnerability, and surrender. When we dissolve the barriers of ego and illusion, we experience not just connection—but unity.
"To see yourself in others is not to seek perfection—but to embrace the divine reflection of imperfection."
Ever wondered why it’s so easy to notice someone else’s flaws but so hard to confront our own? Why does that friend’s arrogance bother you so much? Or why does someone’s overconfidence feel so personal? Maybe it’s not them—it’s the reflection.
Krishna’s teachings in the Bhagavad Gita say that we are all connected through a shared divine essence (Brahman). Yet, when we look at others, we see differences instead of similarities. We judge, misunderstand, and sometimes even resent the very traits that we possess ourselves. The world is said to be a mirror—but why does that reflection feel distorted?
Imagine you’re talking to someone, and their impatience irritates you. Is it because they’re truly impatient, or because deep down, you struggle with your own lack of patience? Or maybe that friend’s emotional detachment hits hard because you’ve been guarding your own heart for too long.
It’s not easy to admit that the things we dislike in others are often reflections of unresolved truths within us. So, why is it so hard to see ourselves in others when, spiritually, we are supposed to be one? Let’s explore the barriers that keep us from recognizing ourselves in those around us—and how Krishna’s wisdom can help us dissolve them
1. The Ego (Ahamkara) Creates a False Sense of Separation
"अहम्कारविमूढात्मा कर्ताहमिति मन्यते।"
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 3, Verse 27)
"The deluded self, under the influence of ego, thinks: 'I am the doer.'”
The ego (Ahamkara) creates the illusion that we are separate from others. It constructs an identity based on personal achievements, possessions, social status, and even failures. This identity becomes a wall between ourselves and others.
When we encounter someone whose beliefs, values, or lifestyle differ from ours, the ego responds defensively—"They are different from me. They don’t understand me." The ego thrives on comparison, constantly measuring others’ success or failure against our own.
Krishna teaches that the ego is not our true self—it is a mental construct. The more we identify with the ego, the more difficult it becomes to connect with others. Dissolving the ego doesn’t mean losing our individuality—it means understanding that beneath the layers of identity, we all share the same spiritual essence.
2. Fear of Vulnerability Prevents Authentic Connection
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 4, Verse 10)
"Freed from attachment, fear, and anger, absorbed in Me—many have attained My state."
Recognizing ourselves in others means confronting our own flaws and insecurities. When someone reflects back our weaknesses—whether it’s arrogance, jealousy, or fear—it triggers discomfort.
For example, if we see someone struggling with self-doubt, it may remind us of our own inner critic. Instead of empathizing, we might react with judgment or distance to protect ourselves from that discomfort.
Krishna teaches that true connection requires vulnerability. To see yourself in others, you have to be willing to acknowledge your own imperfections. This means accepting that you, too, are capable of making mistakes—and that’s okay. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s the foundation of genuine human connection.
3. Illusion (Maya) Makes Differences Appear Larger Than They Are
"मायया हृतज्ञाना असुरं भावमाश्रिताः।"
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 7, Verse 15)
"Those whose wisdom is stolen by illusion fall into a demonic state of mind."
Maya, the illusion of the material world, creates the belief that we are defined by our differences—culture, race, social class, religion, or political views. We see these external differences and assume they define the person beneath them.
This illusion leads to misunderstanding and conflict. We might think, “They’re from a different background; they’ll never understand me.” But Krishna teaches that these are surface-level identities. Beneath the illusion, we are all manifestations of the same divine energy.
To break through this illusion, we need to shift our focus from external labels to internal truth. Recognize that the soul (Atman) within each person is the same divine presence that resides within you. When you stop seeing through the lens of labels and differences, unity becomes possible.
4. Projection of Inner Conflict Distorts How We See Others
"उद्धरेदात्मनात्मानं नात्मानमवसादयेत्।"
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 6, Verse 5)
"Let one lift the self by the self; let one not lower the self."
What irritates us about others is often a reflection of what we have not yet resolved within ourselves. If someone’s arrogance angers you, it might be because you struggle with your own sense of inadequacy. If someone’s dishonesty offends you, it could stem from your internal conflict over truth and integrity.
Krishna teaches that the mind projects unresolved inner conflicts onto the external world. When we become aware of this pattern, we stop blaming others and start looking inward. Instead of reacting with anger or judgment, we can use these moments as opportunities for self-awareness and growth.
5. Attachment and Expectation Block Genuine Connection
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 3, Verse 19)
"Therefore, always perform your duty without attachment. By performing actions without attachment, a person attains the Supreme."
We often seek validation from others—expecting them to reflect back an idealized version of ourselves. When they fail to meet these expectations, we feel hurt or disconnected.
Krishna teaches the principle of Nishkama Karma—performing actions without attachment to the outcome. When you approach relationships without the expectation of reciprocity, you create space for authentic connection.
Seeing yourself in others means accepting them as they are—not as you want them to be. Love without attachment leads to deeper trust and understanding.
6. Resistance to Imperfection Prevents Empathy
"ब्रह्मभूतः प्रसन्नात्मा न शोचति न काङ्क्षति।"
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 18, Verse 54)
"One who has attained the state of Brahman, whose mind is serene, neither grieves nor desires."
Perfectionism creates distance between us and others. When we expect others to be perfect, we become critical and impatient when they fall short. Similarly, when we expect ourselves to be perfect, we struggle to accept our own flaws.
Krishna teaches that true peace comes from accepting imperfection—not trying to erase it. When you stop judging yourself and others for not being perfect, you create space for empathy and connection.
7. Surrender as the Path to Unity
"सर्वधर्मान्परित्यज्य मामेकं शरणं व्रज।"
(—Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 18, Verse 66)
"Abandon all varieties of religion and surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear."
Surrendering to Krishna’s teachings means letting go of the need to control how others perceive you. It means trusting that you are enough and that others are enough just as they are.
When you surrender ego, expectation, and attachment, you begin to see others not as strangers—but as reflections of the same divine light within you.
Seeing the Divine in Others
Instead of seeing others through the lens of judgment, we begin to see them through the lens of compassion. In every face we encounter—whether it’s a friend, a stranger, or even an enemy—Krishna’s presence reflects back at us.
Seeing ourselves in others requires humility, vulnerability, and surrender. When we dissolve the barriers of ego and illusion, we experience not just connection—but unity.
"To see yourself in others is not to seek perfection—but to embrace the divine reflection of imperfection."