The Great Indian Love Scam – Why ‘Marry First, Fall in Love Later’ Is Failing a Generation

For generations, Indian society has sold young men and women a dream wrapped in tradition: marry first, and love will follow. Families orchestrate arranged marriages, emphasizing compatibility on paper—caste, class, horoscopes, family background—while dismissing emotional connection as something that will “develop with time.” But what happens when it doesn’t? The reality is that this model is failing an entire generation, leaving countless individuals trapped in loveless, incompatible marriages, burdened by societal pressure, and questioning the very foundation of their relationships.
The promise that love will bloom post-marriage is a gamble at best and a calculated deception at worst. In arranged marriages, couples are expected to “adjust” rather than connect. The idea that two strangers can automatically develop love simply through proximity and duty disregards the complexities of human relationships. Unlike previous generations who had fewer options and social mobility, today’s young Indians are exposed to global ideas of companionship, emotional fulfillment, and personal choice—making blind faith in the system harder to sustain.
Indian marriages are built on expectations: the husband provides, the wife nurtures, and both fulfill their respective roles. Love, attraction, and companionship often take a backseat. Many couples realize too late that they are emotionally incompatible, yet are forced to continue due to parental pressure, societal stigma, or financial dependence. The result? A life of quiet resentment, loneliness within a partnership, and emotional needs left unmet. Worse, many find solace outside marriage, leading to increasing cases of infidelity, emotional affairs, and secretive double lives.
Divorce rates in India are rising, but they still remain significantly lower than in the West—not because Indian marriages are happier, but because leaving an unhappy marriage is still stigmatized. Many remain trapped in toxic, abusive, or simply lifeless relationships because walking away is seen as a failure rather than a pursuit of happiness. Those who do seek separation often face severe backlash from their families and society, further perpetuating the cycle of forced unions.One of the biggest myths fed to young Indians is that marriage is all about compromise. While compromise is necessary in any relationship, it should not come at the cost of personal happiness or mental well-being. Many are forced to “adjust” to incompatible partners, suppress their true desires, and sacrifice their dreams—all in the name of making the marriage work. This has led to rising cases of anxiety, depression, and emotional burnout, especially among women, who are expected to bear the brunt of these sacrifices.Our parents and grandparents lived in a different world. They were conditioned to prioritize stability over emotional fulfillment. But today’s generation has different aspirations. Women are financially independent and no longer need marriage for security. Men, too, are seeking emotionally fulfilling partnerships rather than just dutiful wives. Love is no longer seen as an optional afterthought but as the very foundation of a successful relationship. The idea of marrying first and falling in love later fails in a world where emotional and intellectual compatibility matter just as much as financial stability.
The great Indian love scam has sold a false dream to generations—one where love is guaranteed to magically appear after marriage. But as more young Indians push back, seek true companionship, and refuse to settle for duty over desire, the cracks in this system are becoming undeniable. It’s time to stop treating marriage as an inevitable milestone and start treating love as a conscious, informed choice. Because a marriage without love is not a marriage—it’s just a social contract with an expiry date.