The Truth About Kanyadaan – A Sacred Ritual or a Problematic Tradition?

Kanyadaan – one of the most significant rituals in Hindu weddings, celebrated as the ultimate act of virtue by a father. It is believed that by ‘donating’ his daughter, a father attains spiritual salvation. But here’s the question no one dares to ask: Is Kanyadaan truly sacred, or is it a problematic tradition disguised as a virtue?While millions of families across India uphold this practice with reverence, an uncomfortable truth lurks beneath the surface. The idea of daan (donation) raises critical concerns does it reduce women to mere possessions? Is it a beautiful ritual or a remnant of patriarchy that needs reevaluation? Let’s dive deep into the truth behind Kanyadaan.


Kanyadaan literally translates to “giving away the daughter.” In Hindu weddings, it is considered one of the most pious acts a parent can perform. The bride’s father (or sometimes both parents) formally hands over their daughter to the groom, symbolizing that she is now his responsibility. Scriptures state that this act earns great spiritual merit for the father.

But beyond its religious significance, this practice carries a silent but powerful message: A woman is something to be given away. This notion, however, raises disturbing questions in a society that is still struggling with gender equality.


While these interpretations seem noble, a deeper look exposes troubling realities:

Would we ever say “son-daan” for a groom? No. Because sons are never ‘donated’—only daughters are. This reflects a mindset where women are treated as assets that must be transferred. The very term daan (charity) implies that a daughter is an object being handed over, rather than an individual with autonomy.

Kanyadaan shifts a woman’s identity from being her father’s daughter to being her husband’s wife. It upholds the idea that a woman must always belong to a man—first her father, then her husband. Where does her own individuality fit into this?

Many brides describe Kanyadaan as an emotional moment, often filled with tears. While it is framed as a loving ritual, it often reinforces the idea that a woman is ‘leaving’ her real home to serve her husband’s family. The burden of adjusting, proving loyalty, and keeping the marriage intact often falls solely on her shoulders.

In today’s world, where women are financially independent, educated, and self-sufficient, does Kanyadaan still make sense? If a woman is seen as equal in every aspect, why does this ritual still symbolically treat her as something that needs to be ‘given away’?

As times change, many families are redefining wedding traditions:

It’s time to ask should sacred rituals evolve with changing times? While Kanyadaan is deeply emotional and religiously significant, its underlying message can no longer be ignored. A truly progressive society must question traditions that reinforce outdated gender roles.

Kanyadaan should not be about ‘giving away’ a daughter. If the ritual is to continue, it should symbolize trust, love, and partnership—not transfer of ownership. Otherwise, we risk holding on to traditions that subtly reinforce the idea that women are less than men.

Kanyadaan, like many traditions, carries both beauty and baggage. While it may have started as a gesture of love, its implications today demand scrutiny. Does it still serve a meaningful purpose, or is it a relic of a past that no longer aligns with modern values? The answer isn’t simple but one thing is clear. True equality begins when we dare to question even the most ‘sacred’ of traditions. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to rethink Kanyadaan.