They Won’t Ask, But They Need You—How to Be There for Someone Struggling with Mental Health
Stuti | Jan 26, 2025, 16:14 IST
While mental health awareness has grown, helping someone in the true sense involves patience, empathy, and awareness. Recognising behavioural challenges, mood swings, changes in eating and sleeping patterns, etc. is crucial. Those who suffer from mental health issues need a safe space where they can express themselves without any fear of judgement. At the same time, caregivers must set boundaries for themselves so that they don't get drained out in the process. Ultimately, small, thoughtful gestures can go a long way in assisting someone in their journey to recovery.
Gone are the days when mental health used to be a taboo topic. Social media influencers and public figures have opened up publicly about their issues, which has played a crucial role in removing the stigma around the problems that no one used to talk about in the past. Words like anxiety, depression, trauma, etc. can now be heard in everyday conversations- but is that right? Does being aware of these issues mean we are prepared to be there for someone struggling to cope with them?
According to the World Health Organisation, “Mental Health is a state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realise their abilities, learn well and work well; and contribute to their community. It is an integral component of health and well-being that underpins our individual and collective abilities to make decisions, build relationships and shape the world we live in.”
It is important to understand that having a sad day does not mean that you are depressed and nervousness before a job interview does not mean that you are anxious, even though the symptoms might seem similar. Misuse of such terms even without bad intent can downplay the adversities of living with these issues.
More often than not, it is extremely hard to recognise that someone is struggling until their reactions to such issues escalate. To look at your friend and not sense his/her essence for a prolonged period should be alarming.
There are more cases than usual where the person suffering doesn't realise something is up. From a second-person perspective, such behaviours can be comfortably noticed and maybe dealt with. Recognizing and responding to such issues requires compassion, care, and a willingness to learn.
No doubt we have made progress In breaking old stereotypes– but even today the oversimplification of issues in the media accounts for many misconceptions regarding the conscious practices of empathy and support, which seem to be a natural trait of human beings as per the media. When it comes to the portrayal of those struggling with the issues, they are mostly represented as dysfunctional people, which further reinforces the stigma attached to problems like depression and anxiety, making it harder for people to seek help.
The root of the problem is that misrepresentation of mental health issues creates confusion between what a person knows about a certain issue and what they feel about it. Adding to it, when friends or family members are unable to decide whether to address the issue directly or to tiptoe around it, things become more intense for both sides– and the entire process becomes more draining for both.
So, the first step if you want to help someone should always be to understand the various facets of the problem because something as complex as mental health is a different experience for everyone and does not have a standard process.
In most cases, people respond to their situations in varying ways—some might feel more energised in social settings, while others might want to isolate themselves. Different people might experience drastic mood swings, changes in eating and sleeping patterns, etc.
However, the catch with such symptoms is that they might be perceived as common behavioural changes, and hence, they can be easily overlooked.
When providing support, it is essential to approach the situation with utmost care and no judgment. It is essential to create a safe space for the person who is struggling so that they can express themselves freely, solutions should only be provided when asked for.
While many things must be considered, the primary goal should be to not dismiss the sufferer's feelings by using phrases like “It's all in your head” or “You are so strong.” Regardless of intent, such statements can cause more harm than good.
A genuine desire to help and be present at all times should be expressed openly, as a simple “I am here in case you need any help, you don't need to go through this alone” can be very crucial. You should also be ready to help navigate professional help at any time if needed.
Mental well-being includes a person's social, mental, and psychological well-being. It affects one's thought process, general behaviours, and feelings. Following is a list of some common conditions:
Day-to-Day Support and Self Care Go Hand-in-Hand
Someone dealing with chronic stress needs consistent attention and effort in the form of small gestures like spending quiet time together, having a meal together, etc. so that they don't feel that they are alone. However, it is natural to feel drained out while looking after someone who's suffering from such issues.
For this, you should always set your own comfort zone and boundaries, seek your support if needed, and prioritize overall self-care.
It's All A Journey
Supporting someone with mental health issues can never be a straightforward process. It requires a lot of patience, empathy, and education. It’s all about becoming a consistent safe space for those who are suffering and letting them cope with their issues in their own time. Here, education is the first step in eliminating the stigmas to advocate for challenging misconceptions in your workplaces, social circles, and communities.
Choosing your words wisely, being mindful of someone’s triggers and reactions while doing anything, etc. can make a tangible difference in the lives of the people around you. Above all, random small acts of kindness and understanding can leave a profound impact on someone’s journey to recovery.
According to the World Health Organisation, “Mental Health is a state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realise their abilities, learn well and work well; and contribute to their community. It is an integral component of health and well-being that underpins our individual and collective abilities to make decisions, build relationships and shape the world we live in.”
It is important to understand that having a sad day does not mean that you are depressed and nervousness before a job interview does not mean that you are anxious, even though the symptoms might seem similar. Misuse of such terms even without bad intent can downplay the adversities of living with these issues.
The First Step: Acknowledging the Issue
Recognising Mental Health Struggles
More often than not, it is extremely hard to recognise that someone is struggling until their reactions to such issues escalate. To look at your friend and not sense his/her essence for a prolonged period should be alarming.
There are more cases than usual where the person suffering doesn't realise something is up. From a second-person perspective, such behaviours can be comfortably noticed and maybe dealt with. Recognizing and responding to such issues requires compassion, care, and a willingness to learn.
A State of True Awareness
The Spectrum of Mental Health Issues
No doubt we have made progress In breaking old stereotypes– but even today the oversimplification of issues in the media accounts for many misconceptions regarding the conscious practices of empathy and support, which seem to be a natural trait of human beings as per the media. When it comes to the portrayal of those struggling with the issues, they are mostly represented as dysfunctional people, which further reinforces the stigma attached to problems like depression and anxiety, making it harder for people to seek help.
The root of the problem is that misrepresentation of mental health issues creates confusion between what a person knows about a certain issue and what they feel about it. Adding to it, when friends or family members are unable to decide whether to address the issue directly or to tiptoe around it, things become more intense for both sides– and the entire process becomes more draining for both.
So, the first step if you want to help someone should always be to understand the various facets of the problem because something as complex as mental health is a different experience for everyone and does not have a standard process.
Are There Any Clear Manifestations?
Mental Health Self-Help Group
In most cases, people respond to their situations in varying ways—some might feel more energised in social settings, while others might want to isolate themselves. Different people might experience drastic mood swings, changes in eating and sleeping patterns, etc.
However, the catch with such symptoms is that they might be perceived as common behavioural changes, and hence, they can be easily overlooked.
Approaching Someone Struggling With Mental Health Issues
Helping Someone Recover from Mental Health Issues
When providing support, it is essential to approach the situation with utmost care and no judgment. It is essential to create a safe space for the person who is struggling so that they can express themselves freely, solutions should only be provided when asked for.
While many things must be considered, the primary goal should be to not dismiss the sufferer's feelings by using phrases like “It's all in your head” or “You are so strong.” Regardless of intent, such statements can cause more harm than good.
A genuine desire to help and be present at all times should be expressed openly, as a simple “I am here in case you need any help, you don't need to go through this alone” can be very crucial. You should also be ready to help navigate professional help at any time if needed.
What You Need to Know
Common Mental Health Issues
Mental well-being includes a person's social, mental, and psychological well-being. It affects one's thought process, general behaviours, and feelings. Following is a list of some common conditions:
- Depression: Chronic sadness, loss of interest in everyday activities, tiredness, and feelings of uselessness.
- Anxiety: Sudden intense feelings of fear that interfere with daily life.
- Bipolar Disorder: Alternating episodes of mania and depression.
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Intense anxiety triggered by traumatic experiences.
- Eating Disorders: Disorders of eating habits due to poor emotional health like anorexia, bulimia, etc.
Day-to-Day Support and Self Care Go Hand-in-Hand
Navigating Mental Well-Being with A Friend
Someone dealing with chronic stress needs consistent attention and effort in the form of small gestures like spending quiet time together, having a meal together, etc. so that they don't feel that they are alone. However, it is natural to feel drained out while looking after someone who's suffering from such issues.
For this, you should always set your own comfort zone and boundaries, seek your support if needed, and prioritize overall self-care.
Do's and Don'ts To Support Someone
Do's
- Try gaining maximum knowledge of the underlying state to comprehend the situation thoroughly and understand their experience.
- Look out for professional help: In extreme circumstances- therapy, medication, and other professional help may prove to be highly useful. Support these decisions and find related resources if needed. It would be even helpful to accompany the affected to their first session
- Do not give up on checking in even if they seem better. Recovery is never linear, always remember.
- Offer holistic support: Even the littlest of assistance with regular chores, errands or simply spending some quality time can create a major mark.
Don'ts
- It is extremely important to understand that mental health struggles are not a choice.
- Encouraging self-help as part of a bigger plan is great if you don’t push it as the sole remedy. Understand that healing takes time and pushing them is not a cure.
- Do not take their withdrawal or breakdowns personally. Rather, remember that it’s a symptom of their condition and not a lack of effort on your part.
It's All A Journey
Mental Well-Being
Supporting someone with mental health issues can never be a straightforward process. It requires a lot of patience, empathy, and education. It’s all about becoming a consistent safe space for those who are suffering and letting them cope with their issues in their own time. Here, education is the first step in eliminating the stigmas to advocate for challenging misconceptions in your workplaces, social circles, and communities.
Choosing your words wisely, being mindful of someone’s triggers and reactions while doing anything, etc. can make a tangible difference in the lives of the people around you. Above all, random small acts of kindness and understanding can leave a profound impact on someone’s journey to recovery.