When You Can’t Forgive What They Did: Gita Speaks

Manika | Jul 07, 2025, 17:00 IST
When You Can’t Forgive What They Did: Gita Speaks
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A few years ago, someone close to me betrayed my trust in a way that still echoes in my chest. I tried journaling, therapy, even pretending I was “over it.” But the truth is, some pain doesn’t want to leave. That’s when I stumbled upon the Bhagavad Gita not while looking for peace, but while looking for perspective. And it didn’t tell me to forgive blindly. It told me to understand. This article explores what the Gita really says about forgiveness especially when you don’t feel ready to give it.

1. The Gita Doesn’t Command Forgiveness, It Encourages Awareness

Most people think spiritual texts just tell you to “let it go.”

But Krishna never commands Arjuna to blindly forgive anyone.
He asks him to understand the situation beyond emotion.
To see not just the act but the karmic pattern behind the act.

This isn’t passive forgiveness. This is awake detachment. It’s the difference between saying,
“I forgive you because I have to,”
vs.
“I forgive because I refuse to carry your karma as my burden.”

2. You Don’t Have to Reconcile to Forgive

One of the biggest myths is that forgiveness = reconciliation.

The Gita doesn't suggest hugging your enemy.
It teaches internal surrender not to the person, but to the pain.

Krishna never told Arjuna to befriend the people who wronged him.
He asked him to rise above resentment to fulfill his own duty (swadharma).

Let that sink in. Forgiveness in the Gita isn’t emotional compromise; it’s spiritual clarity.

3. Karma is Real. And It’s Not Your Job to Deliver It

What if you don’t want to forgive because they got away with it?

That’s where Krishna is brutally clear:

Hard as it is, the Gita tells us: You don’t have to balance the scales. The universe already is.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean injustice goes unpunished.
It means you’re choosing not to become the villain of your own story in the name of revenge.

4. You Can Feel Hurt and Still Be Spiritually Aligned

Many think spirituality means being above pain.

But Krishna doesn’t deny Arjuna’s heartbreak. He holds space for it, then redirects him.

Pain is not failure. Holding onto pain is what blocks progress.

You can grieve, cry, fall apart and still be walking the path.
That is spiritual alignment. The Gita’s not asking you to be perfect. It’s asking you to be present.

5. Forgiveness is Not Weakness, It’s Strategic Freedom

Imagine dragging a heavy stone with you everywhere. That’s what resentment does.

Forgiveness isn’t letting the other person off the hook.
It’s letting yourself off the leash.

Krishna didn’t ask Arjuna to forget. He asked him to rise so high that their actions could no longer reach him.

Your ability to forgive determines your ability to reclaim energy from the past.

6. How to Begin Forgiving. Even If You’re Not Ready Yet

If you’re not there yet, the Gita gets it.

Start here:








  • Step back from emotion. Breathe. Observe.
  • Detach from the identity of the hurt. You are not the betrayal.
  • Ask yourself: Am I living my dharma, or someone else’s pain?
  • Remember: Forgiveness is not approval. It’s a conscious release.
You don’t need to “feel it.” You just need to decide it and the feeling follows.

7. What Krishna Would Tell You Right Now

If Krishna were standing beside you, watching you suffer over what someone did, he wouldn’t say “just get over it.”

He’d likely say:

He’d remind you that your anger, while justified, is now becoming your karma.
And the only way out of it is through clarity, not vengeance.

Forgiveness Isn’t About Them. It’s Your Liberation.

You may never get the apology. You may never understand why they did it.
But the Gita says; you can still be free.

Forgiveness isn’t a moment. It’s a practice. A choice to unchain yourself every day, until the wound becomes wisdom.

You don’t have to forgive to be good.
You forgive because you’re done bleeding over what hurt you once.

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