Why Do I Have to Be the Bigger Person Every Single Time? Bhagavad Gita Answers
Riya Kumari | Apr 19, 2025, 23:56 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
Let’s talk about a deeply spiritual, emotionally taxing, and universally exhausting experience: Being the bigger person. You know the drill. Someone ghosts you? Be the bigger person. Your colleague steals credit? Be the bigger person. Your ex rebrands your entire personality as “crazy” during brunch gossip? Deep breath. Bigger person mode: activated.
We don’t talk enough about how exhausting it is to always be “the bigger person.” You’re the one who apologizes first. You’re the one who walks away from conflict. You’re the one who chooses silence over revenge, dignity over drama, and peace over being right. And people think that makes you strong. But some days, it just makes you tired. Because here’s what no one admits: Being the bigger person often feels like being the lonelier one.
The Gita Isn’t Telling You to Be a Doormat
When Krishna tells Arjuna to “do your duty without attachment to the results,” he’s not telling him to suppress emotion, avoid confrontation, or let people walk all over him in the name of inner peace. He’s saying: Do what’s right, not what feels good in the moment. Because if you live only by reaction—anger, hurt, pride—you hand your power over to others.
But doing what’s right doesn’t mean doing what’s easy. And it doesn’t mean being quiet just to avoid discomfort. Sometimes, “being the bigger person” means speaking truth, but without the need to destroy. Sometimes it means walking away—not because you’re weak—but because you refuse to be pulled into the mud when you know how clean your heart is.
Your Peace Is Not a Weapon
You’re not obligated to carry resentment just because someone handed it to you. You don’t need to prove your pain by shouting it. And you don’t need to be loud to be heard by the universe. The Gita’s wisdom is quiet, but it’s not passive. It says: Control the self, not the world. Because if you master the self, the world loses its grip on you.
That’s not weakness. That’s power. The kind that doesn’t announce itself with noise, but radiates through presence. The kind that doesn’t need revenge, because it knows peace is protection. The kind that forgives, not to excuse, but to set itself free.
Being the Bigger Person Isn’t About Them
It’s about who you become. We often think grace is a favor we extend to others. But in truth, it’s a favor we do for ourselves. So that we don’t become like the people who hurt us. So that we don’t carry their darkness into our light. So that we don’t let one moment of anger turn into a lifetime of bitterness.
The Gita doesn’t ask you to lose your self-respect in the name of virtue. It asks you to remember who you are even when others forget themselves. And that’s the real strength—not how loudly you respond, but how little you need to.
So Why Am I Always the One?
Because maybe you're the one who can. Because maybe life is building in you a kind of stillness that can’t be shaken, no matter how loud the world gets. Because maybe, just maybe, you were never meant to match their energy. You were meant to raise it.
Being the bigger person isn’t about superiority. It’s about freedom. And freedom, the Gita tells us, begins when you stop trying to win every battle—and start choosing which ones are even worth fighting.
Final Thought:
The next time you wonder, “Why me?”— Remember this: Because you’re the one strong enough to choose peace. Because you’re the one who knows that dignity isn’t about silence, but about wisdom. Because you’re the one who sees the bigger picture.
And in a world obsessed with being loud, the bigger person is the one who still chooses to listen—to their own inner voice, to the quiet of self-awareness, to the still strength of knowing who they are. That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom. And that’s not for everyone. But maybe it’s for you.
The Gita Isn’t Telling You to Be a Doormat
One way
( Image credit : Pexels )
When Krishna tells Arjuna to “do your duty without attachment to the results,” he’s not telling him to suppress emotion, avoid confrontation, or let people walk all over him in the name of inner peace. He’s saying: Do what’s right, not what feels good in the moment. Because if you live only by reaction—anger, hurt, pride—you hand your power over to others.
But doing what’s right doesn’t mean doing what’s easy. And it doesn’t mean being quiet just to avoid discomfort. Sometimes, “being the bigger person” means speaking truth, but without the need to destroy. Sometimes it means walking away—not because you’re weak—but because you refuse to be pulled into the mud when you know how clean your heart is.
Your Peace Is Not a Weapon
Journal
( Image credit : Pexels )
You’re not obligated to carry resentment just because someone handed it to you. You don’t need to prove your pain by shouting it. And you don’t need to be loud to be heard by the universe. The Gita’s wisdom is quiet, but it’s not passive. It says: Control the self, not the world. Because if you master the self, the world loses its grip on you.
That’s not weakness. That’s power. The kind that doesn’t announce itself with noise, but radiates through presence. The kind that doesn’t need revenge, because it knows peace is protection. The kind that forgives, not to excuse, but to set itself free.
Being the Bigger Person Isn’t About Them
Dream big
( Image credit : Pexels )
It’s about who you become. We often think grace is a favor we extend to others. But in truth, it’s a favor we do for ourselves. So that we don’t become like the people who hurt us. So that we don’t carry their darkness into our light. So that we don’t let one moment of anger turn into a lifetime of bitterness.
The Gita doesn’t ask you to lose your self-respect in the name of virtue. It asks you to remember who you are even when others forget themselves. And that’s the real strength—not how loudly you respond, but how little you need to.
So Why Am I Always the One?
Help
( Image credit : Pexels )
Because maybe you're the one who can. Because maybe life is building in you a kind of stillness that can’t be shaken, no matter how loud the world gets. Because maybe, just maybe, you were never meant to match their energy. You were meant to raise it.
Being the bigger person isn’t about superiority. It’s about freedom. And freedom, the Gita tells us, begins when you stop trying to win every battle—and start choosing which ones are even worth fighting.
Final Thought:
And in a world obsessed with being loud, the bigger person is the one who still chooses to listen—to their own inner voice, to the quiet of self-awareness, to the still strength of knowing who they are. That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom. And that’s not for everyone. But maybe it’s for you.