Why Do People Change? Krishna’s Lesson on Relying on Yourself
Riya Kumari | Mar 26, 2025, 18:13 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
People change. It’s one of those annoying truths we all pretend we’re okay with. Like, yes, of course, people evolve. Growth is beautiful, self-improvement is inspiring, and all that jazz. But deep down, aren’t we all a little bitter when someone we thought we knew becomes... someone else? That best friend who suddenly doesn’t text back as fast. That partner who, out of nowhere, starts using phrases like "needing space." That boss who used to be chill but now micromanages you like a reality show villain.
People change. Not in a dramatic, movie-montage way where they get a new haircut and suddenly find their purpose. Real change is quieter. It’s a shift in priorities, a difference in how they see the world, a slow rewriting of their story until, one day, you no longer recognize the role you play in it. Maybe it’s a friend who once knew every detail of your life but now responds with polite detachment. Maybe it’s a partner who swore forever but now speaks in past tense. Maybe it’s even you—waking up to the realization that what once mattered no longer does. And the first instinct is always why? Did I do something wrong? Was our bond not real? Could I have held on tighter? But Krishna, in his infinite wisdom, would offer a simpler answer: Because that’s what people do.
In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna tells Arjuna something profound: “You have control over your actions, but never over their fruits.” In other words, you can love people, support them, fight for them—but you cannot control whether they stay the same. That is never in your hands. We like to believe relationships are immune to time, but time changes everything. The way a river never holds the same water twice, people never remain exactly as they were. To expect otherwise is to fight against life itself.
Krishna’s wisdom is not about detachment in the cold, emotionless sense. It’s about understanding that love does not mean possession, and connection does not mean permanence. People come into your life as long as they are meant to. When they leave, it isn’t necessarily a betrayal—it’s simply the nature of existence.
There is a reason change feels so personal, even when it isn’t. It forces us to confront something we don’t like admitting: we are alone in our journey. Not in a tragic way, but in the sense that no one else can walk our path for us. Others may accompany us for a time, but ultimately, we are responsible for our own inner peace.
Krishna teaches that the self is the only constant. You are the witness of your own life, the one presence that never truly leaves. If you place your sense of self in others, you will always live in fear—fear of loss, fear of change, fear of being left behind. But if you root yourself in yourself, no change, no departure, no broken bond can shake you.
The world often teaches us to resent those who change, to take it as an offense when someone outgrows us or walks away. But Krishna’s wisdom tells us otherwise. Letting go is not about rejecting the past; it’s about honoring it without clinging to it. When people change, it is not an erasure of what was. The moments were real. The love was real. The connection was real. But life moves forward, and so must we.
If someone you loved has become someone you no longer know, accept it not as a failure, but as part of the natural rhythm of existence. And if you are the one who has changed, do not feel guilt for growing beyond the spaces you once fit into. Krishna’s lesson is not to hold on, but to walk forward with grace.
Change will happen, again and again. People will enter your life, and people will leave. Some will stay longer than others. Some will return. Some will only be a memory. But through all of it, you remain. So be the one person you can always return to. Build a self so strong that no change feels like a loss—only a transition. Love without fear. Let go without resentment. And trust that in the grand unfolding of life, nothing is ever truly lost. It only changes. And so do you.
1. Krishna’s Truth: Nothing is Ours to Keep
Butterfly
( Image credit : Pexels )
In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna tells Arjuna something profound: “You have control over your actions, but never over their fruits.” In other words, you can love people, support them, fight for them—but you cannot control whether they stay the same. That is never in your hands. We like to believe relationships are immune to time, but time changes everything. The way a river never holds the same water twice, people never remain exactly as they were. To expect otherwise is to fight against life itself.
Krishna’s wisdom is not about detachment in the cold, emotionless sense. It’s about understanding that love does not mean possession, and connection does not mean permanence. People come into your life as long as they are meant to. When they leave, it isn’t necessarily a betrayal—it’s simply the nature of existence.
2. The Pain of Change Is Also the Proof of Growth
Journal
( Image credit : Pexels )
There is a reason change feels so personal, even when it isn’t. It forces us to confront something we don’t like admitting: we are alone in our journey. Not in a tragic way, but in the sense that no one else can walk our path for us. Others may accompany us for a time, but ultimately, we are responsible for our own inner peace.
Krishna teaches that the self is the only constant. You are the witness of your own life, the one presence that never truly leaves. If you place your sense of self in others, you will always live in fear—fear of loss, fear of change, fear of being left behind. But if you root yourself in yourself, no change, no departure, no broken bond can shake you.
3. Let Go, Not with Bitterness, but with Understanding
Flying
( Image credit : Pexels )
The world often teaches us to resent those who change, to take it as an offense when someone outgrows us or walks away. But Krishna’s wisdom tells us otherwise. Letting go is not about rejecting the past; it’s about honoring it without clinging to it. When people change, it is not an erasure of what was. The moments were real. The love was real. The connection was real. But life moves forward, and so must we.
If someone you loved has become someone you no longer know, accept it not as a failure, but as part of the natural rhythm of existence. And if you are the one who has changed, do not feel guilt for growing beyond the spaces you once fit into. Krishna’s lesson is not to hold on, but to walk forward with grace.