Why Girlboss Feminism is Toxic - Why Women Are Tired of Being Told to "Do It All"

Let’s get one thing clear: Girlboss feminism didn’t come to empower—it came to commodify. It sold us the dream of the woman who does it all—who can effortlessly juggle career, family, friendships, self-care, and a perfectly curated Instagram feed. The narrative promised us the world: climb the ladder, break the glass ceiling, wear the best brands, and, of course, smile while doing it. It was packaged like a fairy tale—one where the woman doesn't just succeed; she thrives in the most flawless way possible. And for a while, we bought it. I mean, who doesn’t want to feel empowered, right? Who doesn’t want to believe that if they just work a little harder, they can conquer everything on their to-do list and still manage to look flawless doing it? It felt empowering in theory, almost like there was an unspoken promise that all it took was ambition, self-discipline, and a few well-placed hashtags. But what happens when we realize this myth isn't just unrealistic—it’s dangerous? What happens when the “dream” we were sold turns out to be a pressure cooker for burnout, guilt, and exhaustion? What happens when we realize that the narrative of “doing it all” doesn't just leave us tired—it leaves us broken?


We were told that being a Girlboss meant being enough. Enough at work. Enough at home. Enough for everyone. But here’s the catch: No one, can keep that up. This relentless demand for perfection—across all areas of life—leaves no room for the reality of imperfection, for mistakes, for failure. And if you don’t have room for failure, you don’t have room for growth. The cost of this pressure is quiet but insidious.
It doesn’t shout at you from the headlines or the latest influencer’s post. It sneaks up on you in the small moments: the rising anxiety as you’re juggling deadlines, the guilt you feel when you choose sleep over networking, the self-criticism when your idea of success doesn’t match someone else’s. And worse? We’re taught to wear it as a badge of honor. We’re taught that the more we’re carrying, the more valuable we are. But it doesn’t make you a superwoman—it makes you a ticking time bomb.


Here’s what they don’t tell you: The real power in being a woman is the ability to choose. And the beauty of choice is that it doesn’t come with guilt or shame. It’s about deciding what success looks like for you, not for anyone else. Not every woman wants to be the CEO. Not every woman wants to scale a business. Some of us want to live simply, with time for the things that make us feel human—not like an Instagram-perfect version of ourselves.
We are allowed to choose not to hustle. We are allowed to drop the act. And this is where the power of true feminism lies—not in the ability to do everything and be everything to everyone, but in the freedom to choose what matters most to you. It’s a freedom that says: “I don’t have to sacrifice my mental health, my relationships, or my peace of mind to prove my worth to the world.” That, my friends, is real empowerment.


The Girlboss ideal didn’t just sell us on the hustle—it demanded that we keep up with a pace no human could sustain. It told us that if we didn’t check all the boxes—career, family, fitness, beauty—then we were somehow failing. And in a world where the pressure to “do it all” often goes hand-in-hand with unrealistic expectations, this pressure can turn toxic.
What’s worse? It turns the struggle into something we’re supposed to endure silently. We’re expected to wear exhaustion like a symbol of strength, as if showing the cracks in our carefully curated façade is some form of weakness. But here’s the truth: Showing that you’re struggling doesn’t make you less powerful—it makes you real. It makes you human.


At some point, we all need to ask ourselves: Why are we working so hard to fit into a mold that doesn’t serve us? Why are we pushing ourselves to the brink of collapse to meet standards that were never ours to begin with? Real feminism, real empowerment, is not about doing it all—it’s about owning your own narrative and stepping away from the ones that don’t align with who you are.
You don’t have to be the boss of everything. You don’t have to be the woman who wears a hundred hats and smiles while doing it. The real power lies in making decisions based on what will serve you—what will bring you peace, fulfillment, and joy—not on what others think you should be doing. It’s about knowing that you are enough—whether you’re building an empire or simply enjoying the quiet of a Sunday morning. That’s where true success lies: in peace, not perfection.

So, maybe it’s time we start shifting the conversation. Maybe it’s time we stop glorifying burnout and start celebrating balance. Maybe it’s time we stop seeing women as superhuman hustlers and start seeing them as humans, deserving of rest, freedom, and space to define their own version of success.
Because, let’s face it: No one really wants to be a “Girlboss” when it means selling your soul to the hustle. What we want is to be whole, not perfect. We want to do the things that matter to us, on our own terms. That’s real empowerment. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll look up one day and realize that the world doesn’t need more women trying to do it all. It just needs more women doing what feels right to them.