Why Indian Couples Are Emotionally Divorced Before Marriage Begins

Marriage in India is generally viewed as a holy union, highly embedded in cultural, kin, and social expectations. But hidden behind the extravaganza of fancy weddings and social festivities lies an emerging issue: Indian couples increasingly find themselves emotionally disconnected even before their marriage life starts. This emotional disconnection, or "emotional divorce," is not only an individual concern but also an indicator of larger sociocultural forces.

Emotional divorce is a condition in which people in a relationship are emotionally disconnected from one another, without intimacy, empathy, and reciprocal support. In India, this tends to happen even before the wedding is formalized, particularly in arranged marriages when the partners spend minimal time together before the wedding.
In most Indian homes, marriage is not a meeting of two people but an amalgamation of families. Families take the lead in choosing mates, setting expectations, and controlling the terms of the relationship. This outside influence can cause individuals to subdue their own desires and emotions and hence become emotionally detached.
Research pointed out that the system of dowry, although outlawed, continues to have an impact on marital choices, causing tension and emotional stress.
Good communication is the foundation of every healthy relationship. Yet, in most Indian marriages, particularly arranged marriages, couples do not get much chance to communicate freely before marriage. This inadequacy of contact hinders the process of emotional intimacy and empathy.
A report highlighted that unspoken emotions and misunderstandings are central causes of marital conflict in India.
Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the capacity to recognize, understand, and manage one's own and other people's emotions. Deficiency in EI may impede individuals from coping with the intricacies of marital relationships, resulting in misunderstandings and emotional alienation.
Studies show that couples with more emotional intelligence tend to have greater marital adjustment and problem-solving skills.
Indian society follows traditional gender roles in many cases, with certain expected behaviours from men and women. Men are supposed to be tough providers, while women are supposed to be caregivers. Strict role-playing can deter real emotional expression and comprehension between partners.
The social media representation of idealized relationships creates unrealistic expectations among couples. Failing to live up to these representations in real life, couples become dissatisfied and withdrawn emotionally.
Pre-marital counselling can prove to be a turning point in resolving issues beforehand. These sessions of pre-marital counselling can assist couples in:

• Improving Communication Skills: Open communication about aspirations, fears, and expectations.
• Understanding Emotional Needs: Recognizing and meeting each other's emotional needs.
• Set Realistic Expectations: Aligning roles, responsibilities, and plans.
• Develop Conflict Resolution Strategies: Empower couples with tools to manage disagreements positively.

• Promote Open Communication: Encourage couples to freely express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
• Foster Emotional Intelligence: Workshops and training sessions can aid in teaching people better emotional understanding and regulation.
• Challenge Traditional Norms: Society needs to shift towards more egalitarian perspectives on gender roles and marital expectations.
• Restrict Outside Pressures: Couples need to be aided by families in making autonomous decisions regarding their relationships.
• Employ Counseling Services: Expert advice can also address and solve core issues.

Indian couples' emotional disconnection before marriage is a complex problem with its origins in sociocultural forces. It needs a unified front from the people, families, and society as a whole to tackle it. Encouraging honest communication, emotional sensitivity, and defying conventional traditions can become the way toward healthier and more satisfying Indian marriages.

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