Why Indian Men Need Feminism (More Than Indian Women Do)
Riya Kumari | Jun 03, 2025, 17:35 IST
( Image credit : Freepik, Timeslife )
Look, I didn’t wake up today planning to spark an existential crisis in the heart of every Indian man. I was just here, sipping my cold coffee, swiping through reels of dudes giving dating advice no one asked for, when it hit me—Oh god, they’re not okay. Somewhere between “men should never cry” and “bro, she’s your sister, not your equal,” I realized we’ve got ourselves a full-blown masculinity malfunction. And guess what? Feminism might just be the software update Indian men desperately need.
It’s easy to think feminism is a “women’s issue.” Like it's about who pays the bill, who makes the rules, and who gets to wear what without a panel discussion. But here’s a plot twist no one saw coming: Indian men need feminism just as much—maybe even more—than Indian women. Because while women have been (rightfully) questioning the system for decades, men? They’ve been stuck inside it—convinced it’s working in their favour. It’s not. So, let’s break the myth that feminism is a one-sided upgrade. This isn’t about who wins. It’s about who finally gets to breathe.
1. Boys are rewarded for being obedient—but never taught how to think.
Indian sons are often raised on discipline, not dialogue. They’re told what to do, how to sit, how to talk—but rarely why. So you grow up knowing how to follow the script. Be the achiever. Get the degree. Get the job. Get married.
But ask a 30-year-old man what he actually wants—you’ll get silence. Or confusion. Feminism introduces agency. Not just to women, but to anyone who’s been raised to follow, not question.
2. Men are taught responsibility before they are taught identity.
From the get-go, men are assigned roles: provider, protector, planner. But rarely do they get to ask: “Who am I outside these roles?” The result? A generation of men who don’t know themselves without a task to perform or a title to uphold.
They’re loyal to duty—but strangers to desire, to inner life, to meaning. Feminism gives you permission to move from function to self. To realise you are more than what you provide.
3. Emotional vocabulary? Never issued. But expectations? Sky-high.
You were never taught to say “I’m anxious,” “I’m lonely,” or even “I’m not okay.” But you are expected to be a present partner, a supportive son, an attentive father, a great communicator in a marriage. How? With what tools?
Women talk about emotional labour. But most men have never been allowed the language, let alone the space, to do that labour on themselves. Feminism isn’t asking you to be soft. It’s saying: if you want real connection, first get to know your own weather.
4. Most Indian men are in relationships. Few know how to relate.
It’s not your fault. You were trained to pursue, to “win the girl,” to be chivalrous. But that’s courtship, not partnership. Being in a relationship isn’t about solving problems like an engineering paper. It’s about staying present in emotions you don’t always understand.
And yet, many men withdraw or freeze in conflict—not out of ego, but because no one taught them what intimacy requires. Feminism helps deconstruct that performance. It offers the blueprint for emotional equality, not just social.
5. You think you're dominating. But you're just deeply disconnected.
The default model of masculinity centres control—of self, of others, of outcomes. But when control becomes your comfort zone, connection becomes a threat. And so, men struggle with uncertainty. With change. With a partner who grows. With a world that doesn’t revolve around them.
Feminism doesn’t dismantle your power. It reroutes it toward awareness. The goal isn’t to lose control. It’s to realise that control isn’t love. Presence is.
6. You were told to “man up”—and now you don’t know how to sit down.
Burnout. Silent depression. Stress-induced rage. It’s all there—just behind the neatly-tucked shirt and “I’m fine.” Because when you’re raised to believe that exhaustion is noble, and stillness is weakness, rest becomes guilt.
But here’s the thing: Feminism validates rest. It says: men, too, deserve softness. Slowness. Permission to pause without performance.
7. You think women are changing too fast. The truth? You weren’t allowed to change at all.
Many Indian men quietly feel left behind. The world is shifting. Women are speaking up, moving forward, rewriting norms. And men? They feel stuck. Not because they don’t want to evolve—but because no one ever showed them how.
That’s not their fault. That’s the result of a system that told them evolution was a threat to their identity. Feminism is not about taking your place. It’s about making space—for men to grow without shame.
8. You've been taught to earn respect. But not how to give it.
Not transactional respect—“I did this for you, now appreciate me.” But the quiet, daily respect that feminism teaches: To see people as equals even when they disagree. To stop measuring worth by gender, income, or dominance.
That kind of respect makes you a better partner, friend, father, boss—not because it’s strategic. But because it’s freeing. It’s tiring to constantly measure yourself against a bar. Feminism says: try relating, not ranking.
Final Thought:
Feminism doesn’t ask men to apologise for being men. It asks them to unlearn the version of manhood that keeps them isolated, anxious, and ashamed of needing help. And once you realise that, it no longer feels like loss.
It feels like relief. Because the truth is: feminism didn’t just save women. It can also save men—from the cages they didn’t even realise they were in.
1. Boys are rewarded for being obedient—but never taught how to think.
Scared boy
( Image credit : Pexels )
Indian sons are often raised on discipline, not dialogue. They’re told what to do, how to sit, how to talk—but rarely why. So you grow up knowing how to follow the script. Be the achiever. Get the degree. Get the job. Get married.
But ask a 30-year-old man what he actually wants—you’ll get silence. Or confusion. Feminism introduces agency. Not just to women, but to anyone who’s been raised to follow, not question.
2. Men are taught responsibility before they are taught identity.
Money
( Image credit : Pexels )
From the get-go, men are assigned roles: provider, protector, planner. But rarely do they get to ask: “Who am I outside these roles?” The result? A generation of men who don’t know themselves without a task to perform or a title to uphold.
They’re loyal to duty—but strangers to desire, to inner life, to meaning. Feminism gives you permission to move from function to self. To realise you are more than what you provide.
3. Emotional vocabulary? Never issued. But expectations? Sky-high.
Boy being made fun of
( Image credit : Pexels )
You were never taught to say “I’m anxious,” “I’m lonely,” or even “I’m not okay.” But you are expected to be a present partner, a supportive son, an attentive father, a great communicator in a marriage. How? With what tools?
Women talk about emotional labour. But most men have never been allowed the language, let alone the space, to do that labour on themselves. Feminism isn’t asking you to be soft. It’s saying: if you want real connection, first get to know your own weather.
4. Most Indian men are in relationships. Few know how to relate.
Couple fight
( Image credit : Pexels )
It’s not your fault. You were trained to pursue, to “win the girl,” to be chivalrous. But that’s courtship, not partnership. Being in a relationship isn’t about solving problems like an engineering paper. It’s about staying present in emotions you don’t always understand.
And yet, many men withdraw or freeze in conflict—not out of ego, but because no one taught them what intimacy requires. Feminism helps deconstruct that performance. It offers the blueprint for emotional equality, not just social.
5. You think you're dominating. But you're just deeply disconnected.
Gym
( Image credit : Pexels )
The default model of masculinity centres control—of self, of others, of outcomes. But when control becomes your comfort zone, connection becomes a threat. And so, men struggle with uncertainty. With change. With a partner who grows. With a world that doesn’t revolve around them.
Feminism doesn’t dismantle your power. It reroutes it toward awareness. The goal isn’t to lose control. It’s to realise that control isn’t love. Presence is.
6. You were told to “man up”—and now you don’t know how to sit down.
Man sleeping
( Image credit : Pexels )
Burnout. Silent depression. Stress-induced rage. It’s all there—just behind the neatly-tucked shirt and “I’m fine.” Because when you’re raised to believe that exhaustion is noble, and stillness is weakness, rest becomes guilt.
But here’s the thing: Feminism validates rest. It says: men, too, deserve softness. Slowness. Permission to pause without performance.
7. You think women are changing too fast. The truth? You weren’t allowed to change at all.
Clueless Man
( Image credit : Pexels )
Many Indian men quietly feel left behind. The world is shifting. Women are speaking up, moving forward, rewriting norms. And men? They feel stuck. Not because they don’t want to evolve—but because no one ever showed them how.
That’s not their fault. That’s the result of a system that told them evolution was a threat to their identity. Feminism is not about taking your place. It’s about making space—for men to grow without shame.
8. You've been taught to earn respect. But not how to give it.
King
( Image credit : Pexels )
Not transactional respect—“I did this for you, now appreciate me.” But the quiet, daily respect that feminism teaches: To see people as equals even when they disagree. To stop measuring worth by gender, income, or dominance.
That kind of respect makes you a better partner, friend, father, boss—not because it’s strategic. But because it’s freeing. It’s tiring to constantly measure yourself against a bar. Feminism says: try relating, not ranking.
Final Thought:
It feels like relief. Because the truth is: feminism didn’t just save women. It can also save men—from the cages they didn’t even realise they were in.