Why Indian Women Are Taught to ‘Save’ Their Marriages But Men Aren’t

Marriage in India has long been considered sacred a bond that must be upheld at all costs. But there’s an unspoken rule buried within this tradition: It’s the woman’s job to keep the marriage intact. From childhood, Indian girls are taught the art of compromise, endurance, and self-sacrifice. But here’s the question no one dares to ask: Why is this burden placed solely on women? Why aren’t Indian men expected to ‘save’ their marriages too?


It starts young. Daughters hear their mothers and grandmothers whisper age-old advice: “Shaadi nibhaani padti hai” (You have to make the marriage work). If a marriage crumbles, the first person society blames is the woman. Did she not adjust enough? Did she argue too much? Was she too independent?

Meanwhile, men are given a free pass. They are raised with the belief that their wives must accommodate them, not the other way around. They are rarely, if ever, told to adjust, to sacrifice, or to fight for the marriage. If things go south, they simply move on with little to no social consequence.


In countless Indian households, women are urged to endure emotional neglect, infidelity, and even abuse for the sake of ‘family honor.’ They are told that a woman’s greatest virtue is her patience. But where does that leave men? Strangely, they are never asked to exercise the same level of tolerance. A man who cheats is excused with, “Aadmi toh aise hi hote hain” (Men are just like that). A woman who speaks up is shamed for being too demanding.


From classic Bollywood films to modern-day soap operas, Indian media glorifies women who silently bear the brunt of toxic marriages. Movies romanticize wives waiting for their unfaithful husbands to return. TV serials portray the ideal bahu as someone who never questions her husband’s actions, no matter how unjust.

But when was the last time we saw a movie where a man was expected to forgive, compromise, and change for his wife? The answer is simple: That narrative doesn’t exist.

Divorce remains a dirty word in India—especially for women. A divorced woman is pitied, shamed, or seen as ‘damaged goods.’ Families push their daughters to ‘adjust’ because the alternative is social exile. But divorced men? They can remarry without stigma. They can move on without judgment. In fact, society often sympathizes with them, assuming the woman must have been at fault.

Let’s get real—this disparity exists because Indian men have been conditioned to believe they don’t need to try. They don’t need to nurture relationships because someone else will do the work for them. Generations of patriarchy have ensured that women shoulder the responsibility of keeping families together, while men remain free from blame.


The good news? Change is happening. More Indian women are refusing to be martyrs for bad marriages. They are walking away from toxic relationships, prioritizing their happiness, and demanding that men meet them halfway. And society, though slow to accept this shift, is beginning to take notice.

But real change will only come when men are held to the same standards as women. When boys are taught that relationships require effort, compromise, and accountability. When society stops expecting women to sacrifice themselves at the altar of marriage while men remain passive participants.


It’s time to retire the outdated notion that saving a marriage is a woman’s job. A successful marriage requires equal effort from both partners. And until Indian men start shouldering their fair share of emotional labor, the institution of marriage will continue to be an unfair, one-sided game.

So, the next time someone tells a woman to ‘save’ her marriage, let’s ask them this: Why isn’t her husband being told the same thing?