Why Can’t Some Men Handle Successful Women?

When a woman rises—whether in her career, in her family, or in her community—she often ignites more than applause. Beneath the surface, a quiet, unsettling tremor courses through many men’s sense of self. It’s not just discomfort; it can be a profound feeling of shrinking, of invisibility, even of loss. This reaction is not mere ego; it is a reflection of deeply ingrained social structures and psychological patterns that tie many men’s identity to the suppression or absence of women’s power.

Yet, this phenomenon cannot be understood in isolation. For every woman who rises, countless others are still denied the opportunity to even try. And those who break free often pay a heavy price: branded as “unruly,” “disobedient,” or “too ambitious.” What does this reveal about the society we live in? And why does the success of one woman sometimes feel like a threat to another man’s existence?

This article unpacks these layered realities — the psychology, the sociology, the data, and the cultural narratives — to understand why many men feel smaller when women rise, and why the rise of women is actually a call for all of us to grow.
Masculine identity in many cultures has long been constructed in opposition to femininity—not as a complement but as a hierarchy where men are “above” women. This creates a fragile self-image, dependent on women being invisible, silent, or subordinate. When a woman rises, she challenges not just gender norms but the very foundations of this identity. Studies, such as one published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (2020), reveal that men strongly invested in traditional masculinity often react defensively to female empowerment, perceiving it as a personal threat rather than societal progress.
While the narrative often highlights women “breaking the glass ceiling,” it obscures the vast numbers still trapped beneath it. Globally, female labor force participation remains significantly lower than men’s—only about 26% of women participate in formal employment worldwide, according to UN Women. In India, this figure has declined sharply over the last two decades despite higher female education rates. The truth is, many women never rise not because of lack of talent but because opportunities are withheld due to systemic barriers—social, economic, cultural.
The rise of a woman often triggers social anxiety because it threatens entrenched ideas of what a “good woman” should be: obedient, silent, self-sacrificing. Women who defy these norms and assert autonomy risk being labeled “rebellious,” “selfish,” or “too ambitious.” This policing happens not only through direct social pressure but also through cultural narratives—in media, family expectations, and religious traditions—that frame female success as a disruption, not a contribution. This phenomenon sustains patriarchal power by enforcing conformity.
Women’s rise is often narrowly defined by career success or political power, but true empowerment is far broader. It includes the woman who gains control over her body, the survivor who leaves an abusive relationship, the girl who receives education against all odds, and the elder who challenges oppressive norms. These “quiet rises” often go unnoticed by statistics but represent seismic shifts in power dynamics, challenging patriarchal control in the most fundamental ways.
The discomfort many men feel is not inherent or inevitable but a product of social conditioning. Traditional masculinity often discourages emotional literacy, vulnerability, and self-reflection. This can lead to internal conflicts when faced with empowered women. Reports from organizations like the Movember Foundation highlight that many men suffer from mental health struggles but avoid seeking help due to stigma tied to masculinity. The shrinking some men feel in the face of rising women is often a reflection of their own emotional fragility and societal pressure to “be strong” at any cost.
The rise of women should not be perceived as a loss for men but as an invitation to redefine what it means to be a man. Masculinity need not rest on dominance or control; it can be rooted in empathy, partnership, and shared humanity. The challenge—and opportunity—lies in dismantling patriarchal norms that harm both women and men, allowing all genders to thrive in ways that are authentic and unthreatening. This collective liberation is essential not only for gender justice but for the wellbeing of society as a whole.
When a woman rises, it reflects back everything a fragile ego works hard to avoid—comparison, inadequacy, irrelevance. Patriarchy never taught men how to admire without feeling inferior, how to support without needing control. So instead of asking “Why is she ahead?”, some men ask “What’s wrong with her?”

Here’s the truth: nothing is wrong with her. But something might be deeply unhealed in you.

So the question is not about her rise—but about your fear:
Why does her freedom feel like your failure?

Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Travel, Life Hacks, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life!