You Keep Choosing What Hurts You — The Gita Tells You Why
Nidhi | Jun 16, 2025, 14:17 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau, Timeslife )
Why do we keep choosing the very things that wound us — toxic habits, painful emotions, and self-destructive patterns? The Bhagavad Gita doesn’t blame us; it explains us. Through shlokas and sharp psychological truths, it reveals how desire, ego, attachment, and inner imbalance cloud our choices. This article decodes what Krishna tells Arjuna about the forces within us that drive self-harm — and how awareness, not willpower, leads to liberation. A deeply insightful read on why pain repeats, and how to end it.
You know it's not good for you — that extra scroll at midnight, the toxic relationship, the grudge you hold, the sugar you keep eating, the lie you keep telling yourself.
And yet, again and again, you return to the same fire that burns you.
The Bhagavad Gita does not look at this as just weakness or a lack of discipline. It says something deeper: you are not free because you don’t know who inside you is making the choice. You think it is you. It’s not.
In a world of motivational quotes and self-help routines, the Gita offers something piercing — it goes straight to the root of your inner conflict. It reveals why we are addicted to our own suffering, and what part of us is truly in charge when we make the same mistakes again and again. 
श्रीभगवानुवाच —
काम एष क्रोध एष रजोगुणसमुद्भवः।
महाशनो महापाप्मा विद्ध्येनमिह वैरिणम्॥
— Bhagavad Gita 3.37
It is desire, it is anger, born of the mode of passion (rajas), all-devouring and greatly sinful. Know this as the enemy here.
According to the Gita, kāma (desire) is not a mere thought or emotion. It is a primordial energy born of rajas that consumes reason and clarity. Once desire arises, it hijacks the intellect and uses it as a servant. You no longer choose — you are chosen by desire.
This explains why even the most intelligent person falls prey to the same addictions, jealousies, or mistakes — because desire is not logical, it is elemental. 
इन्द्रियस्येन्द्रियस्यार्थे रागद्वेषौ व्यवस्थितौ।
तयोर्न वशमागच्छेत्तौ ह्यस्य परिपन्थिनौ॥
— Bhagavad Gita 3.34
Attachment and aversion exist in the senses toward their objects. One should not come under their control, for they are obstacles on the path.
Our senses — eyes, ears, skin, tongue, mind — are programmed through rāga (attachment) and dveṣa (aversion). These two forces are subtle mental imprints that form our attractions and avoidances.
The Gita says these are not based on wisdom, but on conditioning — past experiences, pleasure-pain memories, societal input. They create mechanical reactions. You keep choosing what hurts not because it is desirable, but because your senses are conditioned to pursue it blindly. 
क्रोधाद्भवति सम्मोहः सम्मोहात्स्मृतिविभ्रमः।
स्मृतिभ्रंशाद् बुद्धिनाशो बुद्धिनाशात्प्रणश्यति॥
— Bhagavad Gita 2.63
From anger comes delusion; from delusion, loss of memory; from loss of memory, the destruction of intelligence; and from destruction of intelligence, the fall of the self.
When desire is obstructed, it transforms into krodha (anger). Anger leads to delusion (moha), which clouds memory of right and wrong. This causes the fall of buddhi (discriminative intelligence).
Thus, your repeated harmful choices are not random — they are the final stage of a systematic inner collapse. You fall not because you are weak, but because your intellect has been corroded from the inside by unchecked desire and its offspring: anger and confusion. 
सत्त्वं रजस्तम इति गुणाः प्रकृतिसम्भवाः।
निबध्नन्ति महाबाहो देहे देहिनमव्ययम्॥
— Bhagavad Gita 14.5
Sattva, rajas, and tamas — these three gunas born of nature bind the immutable soul to the body, O mighty-armed Arjuna.
The Gita teaches that human behavior is governed by the three gunas:
Therefore, you may keep choosing what hurts because your inner gunas are imbalanced. What feels like "you" is often just rajas or tamas pretending to be your true self. 
प्रकृतेः क्रियमाणानि गुणैः कर्माणि सर्वशः।
अहंकारविमूढात्मा कर्ताहमिति मन्यते॥
— Bhagavad Gita 3.27
All actions are performed by the gunas of nature. But one whose mind is deluded by ego thinks, “I am the doer.”
The Gita makes a stunning psychological claim: You are not choosing at all.
Your ego — the false “I” — takes ownership of choices made by prakriti (nature), driven by guna combinations. So when you think, “Why do I keep making the wrong decisions?”, the Gita replies: Because the ego has hijacked the chariot. The true Self has not yet awakened.
To reclaim your life, you must first disidentify from the ego. Only then can awareness — not compulsion — begin to guide action. 
यज्ञार्थात्कर्मणोऽन्यत्र लोकोऽयं कर्मबन्धनः।
— Bhagavad Gita 3.9
Except for action done in the spirit of sacrifice, all work causes bondage in this world.
Every action creates a mental impression. Repeat it enough, and it becomes habit. Keep repeating it, and it becomes identity. You are no longer someone who makes a mistake — you become someone who lives in it.
This is karma-bandhana — the subtle chain of action, desire, and result. The Gita says only selfless, unattached action (yajña) can break this chain. Otherwise, your own karma binds you to patterns, even those that hurt. 
श्रीभगवानुवाच —
तमेव शरणं गच्छ सर्वभावेन भारत।
तत्प्रसादात्परां शान्तिं स्थानं प्राप्स्यसि शाश्वतम्॥
— Bhagavad Gita 18.62
Surrender to Him alone with all your being, O Arjuna. By His grace, you will attain supreme peace and the eternal abode.
Ultimately, the Gita says that healing comes not through external restraint, but through inner surrender. When you place your identity, actions, and outcomes in the hands of the Divine — or the higher Self — the storm of compulsions subsides.
What was once a struggle of “trying not to fall” becomes a movement toward stillness and clarity. From this state, the right action flows without resistance. You are not broken. You are asleep.
The part of you that keeps choosing what hurts is not your soul, but the layers of conditioning, ego, and unconscious impulses that run the show.
The Bhagavad Gita doesn’t moralize your mistakes. It maps them.
It shows that suffering is not a punishment — it is a signal that you are out of alignment with your true Self. Once you recognize the forces at play — kāma, rāga, moha, guna, ahankāra — you begin to see that what you called “choice” was really just a reaction.
And with that seeing… comes freedom.
Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Travel, Life Hacks, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life!
And yet, again and again, you return to the same fire that burns you.
The Bhagavad Gita does not look at this as just weakness or a lack of discipline. It says something deeper: you are not free because you don’t know who inside you is making the choice. You think it is you. It’s not.
In a world of motivational quotes and self-help routines, the Gita offers something piercing — it goes straight to the root of your inner conflict. It reveals why we are addicted to our own suffering, and what part of us is truly in charge when we make the same mistakes again and again.
1. काम (Kāma): The Root Force Behind Repeated Self-Harm
Sad
( Image credit : Pexels )
काम एष क्रोध एष रजोगुणसमुद्भवः।
महाशनो महापाप्मा विद्ध्येनमिह वैरिणम्॥
— Bhagavad Gita 3.37
It is desire, it is anger, born of the mode of passion (rajas), all-devouring and greatly sinful. Know this as the enemy here.
According to the Gita, kāma (desire) is not a mere thought or emotion. It is a primordial energy born of rajas that consumes reason and clarity. Once desire arises, it hijacks the intellect and uses it as a servant. You no longer choose — you are chosen by desire.
This explains why even the most intelligent person falls prey to the same addictions, jealousies, or mistakes — because desire is not logical, it is elemental.
2. रागद्वेष: The Programming of Likes and Dislikes
Detachment.
( Image credit : Pexels )
तयोर्न वशमागच्छेत्तौ ह्यस्य परिपन्थिनौ॥
— Bhagavad Gita 3.34
Attachment and aversion exist in the senses toward their objects. One should not come under their control, for they are obstacles on the path.
Our senses — eyes, ears, skin, tongue, mind — are programmed through rāga (attachment) and dveṣa (aversion). These two forces are subtle mental imprints that form our attractions and avoidances.
The Gita says these are not based on wisdom, but on conditioning — past experiences, pleasure-pain memories, societal input. They create mechanical reactions. You keep choosing what hurts not because it is desirable, but because your senses are conditioned to pursue it blindly.
3. विवेकनाश (Loss of Discrimination)
Harm
( Image credit : Freepik )
स्मृतिभ्रंशाद् बुद्धिनाशो बुद्धिनाशात्प्रणश्यति॥
— Bhagavad Gita 2.63
From anger comes delusion; from delusion, loss of memory; from loss of memory, the destruction of intelligence; and from destruction of intelligence, the fall of the self.
When desire is obstructed, it transforms into krodha (anger). Anger leads to delusion (moha), which clouds memory of right and wrong. This causes the fall of buddhi (discriminative intelligence).
Thus, your repeated harmful choices are not random — they are the final stage of a systematic inner collapse. You fall not because you are weak, but because your intellect has been corroded from the inside by unchecked desire and its offspring: anger and confusion.
4. त्रिगुण: The Modes of Nature Govern the Mind
Mind.
( Image credit : Pexels )
निबध्नन्ति महाबाहो देहे देहिनमव्ययम्॥
— Bhagavad Gita 14.5
Sattva, rajas, and tamas — these three gunas born of nature bind the immutable soul to the body, O mighty-armed Arjuna.
The Gita teaches that human behavior is governed by the three gunas:
- Sattva (purity, clarity, harmony)
- Rajas (passion, restlessness, craving)
- Tamas (inertia, darkness, ignorance)
Therefore, you may keep choosing what hurts because your inner gunas are imbalanced. What feels like "you" is often just rajas or tamas pretending to be your true self.
5. आत्मा बनाम अहंकार: You Are Not the Doer
Done right
( Image credit : Pexels )
अहंकारविमूढात्मा कर्ताहमिति मन्यते॥
— Bhagavad Gita 3.27
All actions are performed by the gunas of nature. But one whose mind is deluded by ego thinks, “I am the doer.”
The Gita makes a stunning psychological claim: You are not choosing at all.
Your ego — the false “I” — takes ownership of choices made by prakriti (nature), driven by guna combinations. So when you think, “Why do I keep making the wrong decisions?”, the Gita replies: Because the ego has hijacked the chariot. The true Self has not yet awakened.
To reclaim your life, you must first disidentify from the ego. Only then can awareness — not compulsion — begin to guide action.
6. कर्मबन्धन: Action Breeds Habit, Habit Breeds Chains
Pattern
( Image credit : Freepik )
— Bhagavad Gita 3.9
Except for action done in the spirit of sacrifice, all work causes bondage in this world.
Every action creates a mental impression. Repeat it enough, and it becomes habit. Keep repeating it, and it becomes identity. You are no longer someone who makes a mistake — you become someone who lives in it.
This is karma-bandhana — the subtle chain of action, desire, and result. The Gita says only selfless, unattached action (yajña) can break this chain. Otherwise, your own karma binds you to patterns, even those that hurt.
7. समाधानः: The Way Out Is Inner Stillness, Not Outer Control
Balance
( Image credit : Pexels )
तमेव शरणं गच्छ सर्वभावेन भारत।
तत्प्रसादात्परां शान्तिं स्थानं प्राप्स्यसि शाश्वतम्॥
— Bhagavad Gita 18.62
Surrender to Him alone with all your being, O Arjuna. By His grace, you will attain supreme peace and the eternal abode.
Ultimately, the Gita says that healing comes not through external restraint, but through inner surrender. When you place your identity, actions, and outcomes in the hands of the Divine — or the higher Self — the storm of compulsions subsides.
What was once a struggle of “trying not to fall” becomes a movement toward stillness and clarity. From this state, the right action flows without resistance.
The Gita Doesn’t Blame You — It Awakens You
The part of you that keeps choosing what hurts is not your soul, but the layers of conditioning, ego, and unconscious impulses that run the show.
The Bhagavad Gita doesn’t moralize your mistakes. It maps them.
It shows that suffering is not a punishment — it is a signal that you are out of alignment with your true Self. Once you recognize the forces at play — kāma, rāga, moha, guna, ahankāra — you begin to see that what you called “choice” was really just a reaction.
And with that seeing… comes freedom.
Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Travel, Life Hacks, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life!