Why You Don’t Need to Be 'Soft' to Be Divine - Ask Maa Durga
Riya Kumari | May 18, 2025, 22:56 IST
Look, I’m all for self-care Sundays and “good vibes only” tote bags. But somewhere between sipping on moon-charged water and whispering affirmations into rose quartz, we accidentally rewrote the divine feminine as... softness incarnate. Gentle. Forgiving. Smiling like a Disney princess even while being trampled on. So if you've ever been called “too much,” “too loud,” “too angry,” or—my personal favorite—“too intense to be feminine,” congratulations. You might just be channeling actual goddess energy. Let’s unpack this, shall we?
We’ve been sold a version of the feminine that’s been edited for comfort. Trimmed, softened, and sweetened—like some sort of emotional customer service hotline. Polite. Forgiving. Always available. But that version isn’t real. And it certainly isn’t divine. Because if you really want to know what divine feminine power looks like, look no further than Maa Durga. The goddess who rides a lion—not because it’s poetic, but because she needs something strong enough to carry the weight of her purpose. This article is about you. About why your fire is not a flaw. About why your boundaries are not bitterness. About why your strength isn’t something you need to apologize for, explain, or hide.
1. Divinity Doesn’t Always Wear a Smile
We’ve been taught to associate goodness with being agreeable. To confuse kindness with silence. We’re told that the “right” kind of woman is one who makes people feel comfortable—even at the cost of her own discomfort. But Maa Durga’s story doesn’t begin with a smile. It begins with a world in danger. A demon that no god could defeat. Chaos that needed someone to step in—not with gentleness, but with force.
Durga wasn’t created to comfort anyone. She was created to confront. And in doing so, she saved the world. So no, you don’t have to smile to be sacred. Sometimes presence alone is enough. Sometimes silence that says “I see everything” is enough. Sometimes the refusal to bend is what makes you holy.
2. Anger Can Be a Form of Love
We’re uncomfortable with angry women. We see anger as a loss of control, as something unladylike, something shameful. But Durga’s rage was born from love. From protection. From watching injustice grow unchecked. Her fury was focused, not reckless. She didn’t destroy everything—only what needed to be ended.
And maybe that’s what your anger is too. Not random. Not irrational. But a deep, sacred signal: something isn’t right here. When used wisely, anger isn’t destructive. It’s clarifying. It tells you what you value. It shows you what you cannot accept. It calls you to act. And sometimes, that is the highest form of love you can offer—to yourself, and to the world.
3. You’re Not Here to Be Small
Divinity doesn’t shrink. It expands. Durga didn’t reduce herself to fit the moment. She grew more arms. She gathered more power. She became more. But we, somewhere along the way, started believing that being “good” means being smaller. Less emotional. Less outspoken. Less intimidating.
Let’s say it clearly: You are not here to be less of yourself. You are not here to walk quietly so no one feels threatened. You are not here to be manageable. You are here to be true. And the truth is, sometimes the most sacred thing you can do is take up space without apology.
4. Softness Isn’t the Only Language of Love
We assume that love must always look like softness. Like saying yes. Like holding space. But sometimes love looks like saying no. Like walking away. Like calling something out when it’s wrong. Durga’s love wasn’t soft in the way we’ve been conditioned to expect. But it was unmistakably real. She protected because she cared. She fought because she valued peace.
If you’ve ever set a boundary and been told you’re being cold—remember this: love isn’t about always yielding. It’s about standing firm in what matters. And there is nothing more loving than refusing to let harm continue—whether it’s happening to you or through you.
5. Your Power Is Not a Disruption—It’s a Reminder
People don’t fear powerful women because they’re dangerous. They fear them because they remind others of the power they’ve buried within themselves. Maa Durga reminds us that divine power isn’t quiet. It doesn’t wait for permission. It moves when it’s needed. And it doesn’t always look like what we’ve been told is “feminine.”
You may not have ten arms or ride a lion. But maybe you carry your power in how you speak up in a room that expects your silence. Maybe it’s in how you say no without explanation. Maybe it’s in how you protect your peace without guilt. None of that makes you hard. It makes you whole.
The world will keep trying to convince you that divinity looks like a flower. But sometimes, it looks like a sword. So don’t confuse your strength with a flaw. Don’t let the world edit your power down into something easier to swallow. You are not difficult. You are not too much. You are complete.
And when you finally stop asking for permission to be powerful, you’ll find that the divine was never outside of you. She was in you all along. Wearing red. Carrying fire. Walking into the storm like it was your temple.
1. Divinity Doesn’t Always Wear a Smile
Speech
( Image credit : Pexels )
We’ve been taught to associate goodness with being agreeable. To confuse kindness with silence. We’re told that the “right” kind of woman is one who makes people feel comfortable—even at the cost of her own discomfort. But Maa Durga’s story doesn’t begin with a smile. It begins with a world in danger. A demon that no god could defeat. Chaos that needed someone to step in—not with gentleness, but with force.
Durga wasn’t created to comfort anyone. She was created to confront. And in doing so, she saved the world. So no, you don’t have to smile to be sacred. Sometimes presence alone is enough. Sometimes silence that says “I see everything” is enough. Sometimes the refusal to bend is what makes you holy.
2. Anger Can Be a Form of Love
Women empowerment
( Image credit : Pexels )
We’re uncomfortable with angry women. We see anger as a loss of control, as something unladylike, something shameful. But Durga’s rage was born from love. From protection. From watching injustice grow unchecked. Her fury was focused, not reckless. She didn’t destroy everything—only what needed to be ended.
And maybe that’s what your anger is too. Not random. Not irrational. But a deep, sacred signal: something isn’t right here. When used wisely, anger isn’t destructive. It’s clarifying. It tells you what you value. It shows you what you cannot accept. It calls you to act. And sometimes, that is the highest form of love you can offer—to yourself, and to the world.
3. You’re Not Here to Be Small
Gym
( Image credit : Pexels )
Divinity doesn’t shrink. It expands. Durga didn’t reduce herself to fit the moment. She grew more arms. She gathered more power. She became more. But we, somewhere along the way, started believing that being “good” means being smaller. Less emotional. Less outspoken. Less intimidating.
Let’s say it clearly: You are not here to be less of yourself. You are not here to walk quietly so no one feels threatened. You are not here to be manageable. You are here to be true. And the truth is, sometimes the most sacred thing you can do is take up space without apology.
4. Softness Isn’t the Only Language of Love
Walk away
( Image credit : Pexels )
We assume that love must always look like softness. Like saying yes. Like holding space. But sometimes love looks like saying no. Like walking away. Like calling something out when it’s wrong. Durga’s love wasn’t soft in the way we’ve been conditioned to expect. But it was unmistakably real. She protected because she cared. She fought because she valued peace.
If you’ve ever set a boundary and been told you’re being cold—remember this: love isn’t about always yielding. It’s about standing firm in what matters. And there is nothing more loving than refusing to let harm continue—whether it’s happening to you or through you.
5. Your Power Is Not a Disruption—It’s a Reminder
Woman having coffee
( Image credit : Pexels )
People don’t fear powerful women because they’re dangerous. They fear them because they remind others of the power they’ve buried within themselves. Maa Durga reminds us that divine power isn’t quiet. It doesn’t wait for permission. It moves when it’s needed. And it doesn’t always look like what we’ve been told is “feminine.”
You may not have ten arms or ride a lion. But maybe you carry your power in how you speak up in a room that expects your silence. Maybe it’s in how you say no without explanation. Maybe it’s in how you protect your peace without guilt. None of that makes you hard. It makes you whole.
Closing Thought:
And when you finally stop asking for permission to be powerful, you’ll find that the divine was never outside of you. She was in you all along. Wearing red. Carrying fire. Walking into the storm like it was your temple.