Would You Pass Chanakya’s Test for a Good Spouse?
Ankit Gupta | May 16, 2025, 16:23 IST
Chanakya wasn’t anti-love — he simply demanded that love be built on a strong foundation. If you or your partner embody these six qualities, you’re not just compatible — you’re strategically and spiritually aligned. And that’s a bond built to last.
In an age of dating apps, love-at-first-sight rom-coms, and viral relationship trends, it’s easy to forget that the core of a lasting relationship isn’t sparks — it’s strength. Over two millennia ago, Acharya Chanakya, the brilliant economist, philosopher, and strategist of ancient India, laid down ruthless yet profound ideas on marriage in his work Chanakya Niti. He believed that a good spouse wasn’t just a companion for pleasure or emotion, but a partner in dharma — a pillar in your life's purpose.
While modern standards may emphasize compatibility, communication styles, or even zodiac signs, Chanakya emphasized six unwavering traits. These weren’t just suggestions — they were tests. And according to him, failing even one could lead to disaster in marriage.
So, would you pass Chanakya’s test?
"Na strinam kachit rupam, na purushanam dhanam."
(“A woman is not great because of beauty, nor a man because of wealth.”)
Chanakya was blunt — physical beauty is temporary, character is eternal. He saw beauty as a pleasant illusion, but not a basis for choosing a life partner. The same applied to wealth. Just as looks can fade, riches can vanish. But a person’s values, ethics, honesty, and moral compass determine how they behave in adversity — and that’s what sustains a relationship.
Ask yourself: Are you drawn to someone for their kindness, sense of justice, and loyalty — or do you get enamored by status, fashion, and charm?
If your definition of an ideal partner starts with looks or lifestyle rather than character, Chanakya would have marked you unfit for marriage.
"The foundation of a happy home is trust. Once broken, it is hard to rebuild."
Chanakya placed loyalty above all. Not just sexual fidelity, but emotional, intellectual, and moral loyalty. A disloyal spouse, in his eyes, was a danger — someone who would slowly erode the sanctity of the household from within.
Loyalty, for Chanakya, meant that your partner should be able to trust your words, your actions, and your decisions — even in their absence. A person who lies, cheats, or manipulates was to be avoided like poison.
Today, many justify disloyalty as a mistake or a moment of weakness. Chanakya would say: If they can betray once, they can betray again.
“One who stands by you in adversity is a true partner. The rest are mere companions of pleasure.”
Marriages are not fairy tales — they’re often built in the furnace of struggles: financial pressure, illness, losses, failures, grief. Chanakya believed that a true spouse is someone who doesn’t crumble under pressure but helps carry the burden.
According to him, when hard times hit — as they inevitably will — a weak partner becomes a liability, while a strong one becomes your anchor.
Modern example: When a couple loses a job or a parent, one may become irritable, blaming or escapist, while the other holds the home together. Chanakya would say: only the latter qualifies as a good spouse.
He would ask you: Can your partner count on you when the storm hits?
“A person’s character is reflected in how they speak — especially in anger.”
Chanakya understood the power of words. Sweet words could win over enemies. Harsh words could create enemies from family. In a marriage, Chanakya warned against impulsive anger, sarcasm, harsh tone, and criticism. A good spouse must have emotional discipline.
Why? Because marriage isn’t about avoiding fights — it’s about fighting fair. It’s easy to hurl insults or go silent when upset. But the real test lies in expressing yourself without wounding your partner.
Chanakya said: "Even a small fire can destroy a forest — likewise, one harsh word can destroy years of love."
If you use rage, guilt-tripping, or silence as tools, you’d fail Chanakya’s test.
“Rely not on others for your happiness or survival. A true partner is not a burden but a blessing.”
Chanakya admired self-sufficiency — in both men and women. He didn’t believe in marriages where one partner carried the emotional, financial, or spiritual burden alone.
In today’s terms, a good spouse should have a sense of independence — be it career, mindset, or emotional grounding. Self-reliance means: Even if everything is taken away, I won’t collapse. I’ll still contribute, adapt, and uplift.
This doesn’t mean being cold or distant. It means being whole before entering into a partnership. Two incomplete people clinging to each other out of desperation — that’s not love, it’s dependency.
If you constantly need saving, or expect your partner to solve all your problems, Chanakya would say you’re not ready for marriage.
“The house where values differ becomes the field of constant war.”
This is perhaps the most profound of Chanakya’s conditions — and the least discussed in modern relationships. Love may begin in the heart, but marriage, according to Chanakya, lives in purpose. He warned that if two people have different life visions, values, and dharma, the relationship will eventually fall apart.
If one seeks a spiritual path and the other materialism, if one values simplicity and the other luxury, if one wants children and the other doesn't — no amount of attraction can bridge these gaps.
Chanakya advised: "Before marriage, ask: Do our lives point in the same direction?"
Today, couples are encouraged to "compromise." Chanakya would argue — don’t compromise on dharma. Instead, choose alignment from the start.
Unlike today’s often romanticized view of love, Chanakya’s view was grounded in realism. He saw marriage not as the fulfillment of fantasy but as a spiritual and strategic alliance — a union that builds legacy, stability, and purpose.
He didn’t believe in marrying for excitement or looks. He believed in marrying someone who makes you wiser, stronger, and more anchored.
And perhaps his ancient wisdom is more relevant than ever — in a world where many relationships crumble not from lack of love, but from lack of these core values.
Before judging others by this list, ask: Would I want to marry someone like me?
Chanakya would suggest: “Become the kind of partner who passes every one of these tests — and then find someone who does the same.” Because only then is marriage not a burden, but a blessing.
While modern standards may emphasize compatibility, communication styles, or even zodiac signs, Chanakya emphasized six unwavering traits. These weren’t just suggestions — they were tests. And according to him, failing even one could lead to disaster in marriage.
So, would you pass Chanakya’s test?
Good Character Over Outer Beauty
Image Credit: Pexels
"Na strinam kachit rupam, na purushanam dhanam."
(“A woman is not great because of beauty, nor a man because of wealth.”)
Chanakya was blunt — physical beauty is temporary, character is eternal. He saw beauty as a pleasant illusion, but not a basis for choosing a life partner. The same applied to wealth. Just as looks can fade, riches can vanish. But a person’s values, ethics, honesty, and moral compass determine how they behave in adversity — and that’s what sustains a relationship.
Ask yourself: Are you drawn to someone for their kindness, sense of justice, and loyalty — or do you get enamored by status, fashion, and charm?
If your definition of an ideal partner starts with looks or lifestyle rather than character, Chanakya would have marked you unfit for marriage.
Loyalty and Trustworthiness
Image Credit: Pexels
"The foundation of a happy home is trust. Once broken, it is hard to rebuild."
Chanakya placed loyalty above all. Not just sexual fidelity, but emotional, intellectual, and moral loyalty. A disloyal spouse, in his eyes, was a danger — someone who would slowly erode the sanctity of the household from within.
Loyalty, for Chanakya, meant that your partner should be able to trust your words, your actions, and your decisions — even in their absence. A person who lies, cheats, or manipulates was to be avoided like poison.
Today, many justify disloyalty as a mistake or a moment of weakness. Chanakya would say: If they can betray once, they can betray again.
Mental Strength in Times of Crisis
Image Credit: Pixels
“One who stands by you in adversity is a true partner. The rest are mere companions of pleasure.”
Marriages are not fairy tales — they’re often built in the furnace of struggles: financial pressure, illness, losses, failures, grief. Chanakya believed that a true spouse is someone who doesn’t crumble under pressure but helps carry the burden.
According to him, when hard times hit — as they inevitably will — a weak partner becomes a liability, while a strong one becomes your anchor.
Modern example: When a couple loses a job or a parent, one may become irritable, blaming or escapist, while the other holds the home together. Chanakya would say: only the latter qualifies as a good spouse.
He would ask you: Can your partner count on you when the storm hits?
Control Over Anger and Speech
Image Credit: Pexels
“A person’s character is reflected in how they speak — especially in anger.”
Chanakya understood the power of words. Sweet words could win over enemies. Harsh words could create enemies from family. In a marriage, Chanakya warned against impulsive anger, sarcasm, harsh tone, and criticism. A good spouse must have emotional discipline.
Why? Because marriage isn’t about avoiding fights — it’s about fighting fair. It’s easy to hurl insults or go silent when upset. But the real test lies in expressing yourself without wounding your partner.
Chanakya said: "Even a small fire can destroy a forest — likewise, one harsh word can destroy years of love."
If you use rage, guilt-tripping, or silence as tools, you’d fail Chanakya’s test.
Self-Reliance and Contribution
Image Credit: Freepik
“Rely not on others for your happiness or survival. A true partner is not a burden but a blessing.”
Chanakya admired self-sufficiency — in both men and women. He didn’t believe in marriages where one partner carried the emotional, financial, or spiritual burden alone.
In today’s terms, a good spouse should have a sense of independence — be it career, mindset, or emotional grounding. Self-reliance means: Even if everything is taken away, I won’t collapse. I’ll still contribute, adapt, and uplift.
This doesn’t mean being cold or distant. It means being whole before entering into a partnership. Two incomplete people clinging to each other out of desperation — that’s not love, it’s dependency.
If you constantly need saving, or expect your partner to solve all your problems, Chanakya would say you’re not ready for marriage.
Alignment in Dharma (Purpose and Values)
Image Credit: Freepik
“The house where values differ becomes the field of constant war.”
This is perhaps the most profound of Chanakya’s conditions — and the least discussed in modern relationships. Love may begin in the heart, but marriage, according to Chanakya, lives in purpose. He warned that if two people have different life visions, values, and dharma, the relationship will eventually fall apart.
If one seeks a spiritual path and the other materialism, if one values simplicity and the other luxury, if one wants children and the other doesn't — no amount of attraction can bridge these gaps.
Chanakya advised: "Before marriage, ask: Do our lives point in the same direction?"
Today, couples are encouraged to "compromise." Chanakya would argue — don’t compromise on dharma. Instead, choose alignment from the start.
Chanakya’s Brutal but Brilliant Wisdom
He didn’t believe in marrying for excitement or looks. He believed in marrying someone who makes you wiser, stronger, and more anchored.
And perhaps his ancient wisdom is more relevant than ever — in a world where many relationships crumble not from lack of love, but from lack of these core values.
Can You Be the Spouse You’re Looking For?
Chanakya would suggest: “Become the kind of partner who passes every one of these tests — and then find someone who does the same.” Because only then is marriage not a burden, but a blessing.