‘You Complete Me’ is a Lie—The Gita on Why You Are Already Whole
Nidhi | Feb 22, 2025, 22:11 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
This article debunks the myth that external relationships, success, or validation make us whole. Drawing insights from the Bhagavad Gita, it explores the concept of Atman (the eternal self), Dharma (one’s true path), and Samattvam (equanimity), revealing why true completeness comes from within. By understanding detachment, self-sufficiency, and inner peace, readers will learn how to break free from societal illusions and embrace their inherent wholeness.
विद्यास्य स्वयम् पूर्णम् तेन पूर्णमेव वविष्यते।
(Vidyasya svayam purnam tena purnam eva vavishyate - Knowledge itself is complete, and through it, completeness is realized.)
The Gita doesn’t teach you to find yourself; it reminds you that you were never lost.
For centuries, we have been fed the idea that love, success, or external validation will complete us. From fairytales to Bollywood dramas, the message is clear: you need someone or something to fill the void within you. But what if the void was an illusion? What if you were already whole?
The Bhagavad Gita, one of the most profound philosophical texts in the world, challenges the idea of incompleteness. It teaches that you are not a half-seeking another half; you are Purnam (complete in yourself). Here’s why:
The Gita teaches that you are Atman (the eternal self), beyond body and mind.
Krishna tells Arjuna in Chapter 2, Verse 23:
नैनं छिन्दन्ति शस्त्राणि नैनं दहति पावकः।
न चैनं क्लेदयन्त्यापो न शोषयति मारुतः॥
(Weapons cannot cut it, fire cannot burn it…)
This means your true essence is indestructible and complete. If your soul is whole, how can you ever be incomplete?
We seek completion outside because of Maya (illusion). The world conditions us to believe that fulfillment comes from achievements, relationships, or possessions. But the Gita reminds us that everything external is fleeting (Chapter 2, Verse 14):
मात्रास्पर्शास्तु कौन्तेय शीतोष्णसुखदुःखदाः।
आगमापायिनोऽनित्यास्तांस्तितिक्षस्व भारत॥
(Sense perceptions bring happiness and sorrow; they come and go like seasons.)
Your wholeness is not defined by external circumstances; it is inherent.
The concept of Swadharma (one’s own path) is crucial. Krishna emphasizes that living one’s dharma is the key to self-realization. In Chapter 3, Verse 35:
श्रेयान्स्वधर्मो विगुणः परधर्मात्स्वनुष्ठितात्।
स्वधर्मे निधनं श्रेयः परधर्मो भयावहः॥
("Better is one’s own imperfect duty than another’s well-performed duty…")
Your journey is yours alone. You do not need another person to give it meaning.
Modern relationships often operate on a flawed premise: “You complete me.” But the Gita suggests a different perspective—love is the union of two whole beings, not two halves trying to merge. True love (Bhakti) is about recognizing the divine in another, not using them to fill a perceived emptiness.
Krishna warns about Kama (desire) and Moha (attachment), which lead to suffering (Chapter 2, Verse 62-63):
ध्यायतो विषयान्पुंसः सङ्गस्तेषूपजायते।
सङ्गात् संजायते कामः कामात्क्रोधोऽभिजायते॥
("Dwelling on objects of desire leads to attachment, and attachment breeds suffering.")
If you think a person or achievement will complete you, you become a prisoner of that belief. True freedom comes from self-sufficiency.
The Gita advocates Samattvam (equanimity), which means being balanced in both success and failure. Krishna tells Arjuna in Chapter 2, Verse 47:
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥
("You have the right to work, but not to the fruits of your work…")
When you detach from outcomes, you realize that no success or failure defines your wholeness.
If you sit still and turn inward, you will realize you are already at peace. The Gita calls this state Brahmi Sthiti (the state of the absolute). Krishna describes this in Chapter 6, Verse 20:
यत्रोपरमते चित्तं निरुद्धं योगसेवया।
यत्र चैवात्मनात्मानं पश्यन्नात्मनि तुष्यति॥
("When the mind is still, absorbed in the self, the yogi experiences ultimate bliss.")
Wholeness is not found outside; it is realized within.
The most revolutionary idea in the Gita is this: You were never incomplete to begin with. Society, media, and experiences may have convinced you otherwise, but at your core, you are already full. In the words of the Isha Upanishad:
पूर्णमदः पूर्णमिदं पूर्णात् पूर्णमुदच्यते।
("That is complete, this is complete. From completeness arises completeness.")
So, the next time someone tells you, “You complete me,” smile and remember: You are not a puzzle piece; you are the entire puzzle. The Bhagavad Gita does not want you to seek completion in another—it wants you to realize that you are already whole, infinite, and enough.
Your journey is not about becoming something; it is about remembering who you truly are. And that, dear reader, is the most liberating truth of all.
(Vidyasya svayam purnam tena purnam eva vavishyate - Knowledge itself is complete, and through it, completeness is realized.)
The Gita doesn’t teach you to find yourself; it reminds you that you were never lost.
For centuries, we have been fed the idea that love, success, or external validation will complete us. From fairytales to Bollywood dramas, the message is clear: you need someone or something to fill the void within you. But what if the void was an illusion? What if you were already whole?
The Bhagavad Gita, one of the most profound philosophical texts in the world, challenges the idea of incompleteness. It teaches that you are not a half-seeking another half; you are Purnam (complete in yourself). Here’s why:
1. You Are the Atman, Not a Fragmented Being
Krishna-Arjuna
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
Krishna tells Arjuna in Chapter 2, Verse 23:
नैनं छिन्दन्ति शस्त्राणि नैनं दहति पावकः।
न चैनं क्लेदयन्त्यापो न शोषयति मारुतः॥
(Weapons cannot cut it, fire cannot burn it…)
This means your true essence is indestructible and complete. If your soul is whole, how can you ever be incomplete?
2. The Illusion of External Completion
Marriage
( Image credit : Freepik )
मात्रास्पर्शास्तु कौन्तेय शीतोष्णसुखदुःखदाः।
आगमापायिनोऽनित्यास्तांस्तितिक्षस्व भारत॥
(Sense perceptions bring happiness and sorrow; they come and go like seasons.)
Your wholeness is not defined by external circumstances; it is inherent.
3. Dharma: Your Path, Not Someone Else’s Completion
Your Life Your Choices
( Image credit : Pexels )
श्रेयान्स्वधर्मो विगुणः परधर्मात्स्वनुष्ठितात्।
स्वधर्मे निधनं श्रेयः परधर्मो भयावहः॥
("Better is one’s own imperfect duty than another’s well-performed duty…")
Your journey is yours alone. You do not need another person to give it meaning.
4. Love is Sharing Wholeness, Not Filling Gaps
Love
( Image credit : Freepik )
5. The Trap of Desire and Attachment
Trap
( Image credit : Pexels )
ध्यायतो विषयान्पुंसः सङ्गस्तेषूपजायते।
सङ्गात् संजायते कामः कामात्क्रोधोऽभिजायते॥
("Dwelling on objects of desire leads to attachment, and attachment breeds suffering.")
If you think a person or achievement will complete you, you become a prisoner of that belief. True freedom comes from self-sufficiency.
6. Equanimity: The Mindset of the Whole
Enjoy every moment
( Image credit : Pexels )
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥
("You have the right to work, but not to the fruits of your work…")
When you detach from outcomes, you realize that no success or failure defines your wholeness.
7. Inner Peace is Your True Nature
यत्रोपरमते चित्तं निरुद्धं योगसेवया।
यत्र चैवात्मनात्मानं पश्यन्नात्मनि तुष्यति॥
("When the mind is still, absorbed in the self, the yogi experiences ultimate bliss.")
Wholeness is not found outside; it is realized within.
8. You Were Never Broken to Begin With
Live your Life to Fullest
( Image credit : Pexels )
पूर्णमदः पूर्णमिदं पूर्णात् पूर्णमुदच्यते।
("That is complete, this is complete. From completeness arises completeness.")
Embrace Your Wholeness
Your journey is not about becoming something; it is about remembering who you truly are. And that, dear reader, is the most liberating truth of all.