10 Reasons Why Having A Boyfriend Is Embarrassing

Having a boyfriend isn’t embarrassing. Defending this behavior is. This isn’t a breakup manifesto. It’s not man‑hating. It’s not a "stay single forever" sermon. It’s a reality check. A relationship should add dignity to your life. If instead it keeps embarrassing you - quietly, publicly, spiritually, something is off. Before anyone cries “not all men” - relax. Obviously not all. This is about that specific group of men many women unfortunately date at least once. The one who slowly drains your self-respect while calling it love.



Your man is consistently liking baddies, following women who look like they own three nail salons and a ring light. You notice his name everywhere. Same girls. Same type. Same energy. You don’t want a man who pretends single online while calling himself taken offline. And if he never posts you? He’s not private. He’s lowkey auditioning. If he treats the internet like a dating app while calling you insecure, that’s gaslighting. Your man is in a relationship but his Instagram says “open for interactions.”

You’re the girlfriend; the internet is his backup plan. Every woman who’s dated knows this moment - when you stop scrolling because you don’t want to ruin your own mood. A man who knows how to choose makes his woman feel chosen. If he says “it’s nothing,” ask him why he’s investing daily attention where he claims there’s no value. Watch the logic collapse. “Why are you checking?” “It’s just a like.” “You’re overthinking.” And suddenly you are apologizing for reacting instead of him reflecting.



In the beginning: “Stay on call, I can’t sleep without you.”
Six months later: “Why are you so needy? I’m out with friends.”
Same man. Same phone. Different energy. He didn’t get busy. He got comfortable doing less.

Then comes: “Can you not get upset every time I’m busy?” The effort didn’t disappear, it was withdrawn. He used effort as bait, not habit. Notice how: He used to call. Now he "forgets." He sleeps by 11 pm - except with his boys, where he magically survives till 2 am. Men who pull away once you’re attached were never chasing you, they were chasing validation. Once they got it, they logged out. Match consistency, not potential. If effort drops, don’t compensate - observe and detach.



“Don’t wear that.” “Don’t go out with your male best friend.”
What he controls in you, he freely enjoys in other women. That’s not boundaries. That’s hypocrisy.

Meanwhile: His explore page is full of women in the exact outfits he calls “attention‑seeking.” He has ten “homegirls.” Control disguised as concern is still control. Projection disguised as protection is still projection. Boundaries are mutual. If rules only apply to you, they’re not boundaries, they’re restrictions. That’s selective morality.



At first, he planned dates. Then he asked “what do you want to do?” Now he asks “why do we need to go out?” No more dates. No more surprises. No more appreciation. You’re not asking for princess treatment - you’re asking not to feel invisible. Just: “You free?” “You wanna chill?” And if you complain, you’re ‘materialistic’ or ‘never satisfied’. You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for the same energy that got you here.

A man treats you based on how little effort he thinks he can give without you leaving. If effort only shows up when you’re about to leave, it’s not love, it’s damage control. If love feels like a routine task instead of an active choice, resentment quietly moves in. Appreciation isn’t optional.



Men now say: “Why should I pay?” “Split everything.” “Why do guys always have to pay?” “Why are you so obsessed with money?”

Men in this generation will watch you pay for everything and still call you materialistic. No job. No plan. No urgency. But VERY strong opinions about women wanting stability. Buying flowers isn’t gold digging. Sharing a pizza isn’t gold digging. A man who can’t lead his own life cannot add value to someone else’s. Look at trajectory, not promises. Wanting ambition is not toxicity. It’s called having standards.



Some people don’t want partnership. They want distraction. They need constant validation to feel tall - so they stand on someone else’s self‑esteem. That’s why your unhappiness doesn’t move them. Ask yourself: does he give, or does he consume? Love isn’t transactional, but patterns don’t lie. He’ll chase random women, just to feel wanted. Random girls. Unwanted girls. Girls he don’t even like. Nobody is enough - not you, not his ex, not anyone.

You can’t fix a man who enjoys being empty. Stop turning your self‑esteem into a rehabilitation centre. He’s not broken. You can’t fix someone who benefits from being emotionally unfinished. Some men don’t want relationships. They want attention. They chase validation. They confuse chemistry with compatibility. You’re not his girlfriend, you’re his emotional charging cable.




This one hurts, so read slowly. Women, especially early 20s, who lack direction confuse having a boyfriend with having a life. So they obsess. They over‑give. They abandon friends. They tolerate nonsense. Because fixing a man becomes the closest thing to purpose. So she stays. Quietly. Miserably. When a relationship fails, society quietly blames the woman: “She couldn’t keep him.” So women stay. They suffer silently. Fixing a man becomes a substitute for purpose. Your worth isn’t proven by endurance. Leaving can be competence.

You cancel plans. You stop posting. You reduce yourself. He continues exactly as before. If your life keeps shrinking and his doesn’t adjust at all, that’s not compromise, that’s self-abandonment. No man will ever put you above his career. But you will and then cry about it.



Watch carefully. He won’t defend you in front of friends. Family. Strangers. But he’ll crack jokes at your expense. Smile while doing it. Call it “just humour.” If you joke about his friends? Suddenly you’re disrespectful.

He stays silent when you’re the punchline because shrinking you inflates him. If he laughs at you instead of standing for you, leave. You’re not sensitive. He’s insecure.



You cry. He sleeps.
You need reassurance. He avoids.
Men who can’t handle emotions outsource them.

He can’t sit with feelings. Phone on DND. Or worse runs to a female bestie calling you “crazy.” Emotional absence is louder than emotional abuse. Emotional availability is a skill. If he refuses to learn, don’t become the lesson. If he can’t emotionally show up, stop begging. He gives silence to women he actually likes. Noise to women he wants attention from. You’re not asking for too much. He’s offering too little.



“I get ready in 2 minutes.” Yes. We can tell.

Bad hygiene. Loud chewing. Zero grooming. No effort. Not because he’s low-maintenance. But because he doesn’t believe the relationship deserves intention. Effort in appearance reflects effort in life. Self‑respect is attractive. Neglect is not. Observe how he treats himself. That’s the ceiling of how he’ll treat you.


A boyfriend is not an achievement if he makes your life smaller. Some men don’t need patience. They need to be left. If being with someone makes you feel smaller, quieter, or embarrassed, that’s not love maturing. That’s you outgrowing what you tolerated. A healthy relationship doesn’t drain your confidence. It doesn’t confuse you. It doesn’t make you question your standards. The right partner doesn’t just love you, they honour you. And anything less? Not heartbreaking. Just unnecessary.