5 Ways Nice Girls Overcompensate in Relationships and End Up Getting Taken for Granted
Riya Kumari | Jan 11, 2025, 23:59 IST
If you’ve ever found yourself overcompensating in a relationship, doing all the heavy lifting in hopes of winning his affection, then you’ve likely missed the memo. Enter Why Men Love Bitches, the ultimate guide to ditching the over-the-top, "nice girl" routine. The book cuts through the fluff and shows why playing it cool, setting boundaries, and not constantly chasing after his attention is actually what gets you the respect (and affection). If you want to stop being the one who’s always putting in the work, this is your Bible for flipping the script.
Let’s talk about something you’ve probably seen a million times—nice girls who do way too much in relationships. You know the type. They’re cooking, cleaning, planning, texting, and basically running the show in an attempt to be the perfect girlfriend. And yet, somehow, they always end up frustrated, confused, and, let’s be real, a little bit taken for granted. It’s like they’re stuck in a romcom, but not the kind with a happy ending. So, here’s the thing: trying too hard isn’t just exhausting—it’s a one-way ticket to nowhere. Let’s dive into how the overcompensating game is played, and why it never quite works out the way you think it will.
1. The 7-Course Meal That No One Asked For
You’ve met a guy and somehow, you’ve decided the way to his heart is through your oven. So, what do you do? You bust out your inner Martha Stewart, whipping up a seven-course feast. From the appetizer that totally looks like it came from a Pinterest board (but it’s more likely you burned the scallops), to the decadent dessert you spent hours perfecting, you think, "This is it. This will totally win him over." And what does he say the next morning? “Hey, babe, why are your eye bags, like, so noticeable? And is that concealer?” Because nothing says "I'm ready for a relationship" like a sleep-deprived cook. Here’s the trick—skip the three-day soufflé saga. Just order some takeout, share a pizza, laugh about it, and for once, let it be easy. Guys don't need a five-star meal to appreciate you—they just want something that’s tasty, and ideally, easy on your mental health.
2. The Overzealous “Wifey” Behavior
If you’re overcompensating by pretending you’re auditioning for The Real Housewives of His Life, stop. Just, stop. We’re talking about the girl who remodels his life after one date. You rearrange his furniture, fold his socks into tiny little origamis, and suddenly, the poor guy can't remember which is his living room and which is the bedroom. By the time you leave, you’ve made everything so domesticated that he feels like he’s in a relationship with his mother. Here’s the thing—men freak out at the first hint of “commitment.” They’re not ready to sign up for wife duties on the second date. And if they see you trying too hard, they think: Yikes, is she that desperate? Pro tip: Don’t do his laundry. You’re not his cleaning lady, and this isn’t an audition for Happily Ever After just yet.
3. Giving It All Away Too Soon (And We Mean Everything)
Okay, we need to talk about the premature commitment... to bed. Here’s the thing: most guys want you to say no. Not because they don’t like you (well, maybe a little, but that's not the point), but because they want to think you’re different. Like, the kind of woman who’s worth the chase. But what happens when you’re too eager to get physical? He starts wondering how many guys you’ve been with, and suddenly, he’s not as sure about you. And that’s when you go from “the one he’s been dreaming of” to “just another one of those girls who loves quickly.” So, keep some mystery. Don’t roll out the red carpet on date one. You want to leave him thinking, “Hmm, I wonder what she’s like…?” Instead of, “Well, that was... quick.”
4. Calling Him Way Too Much (Spam Alert)
Now, at first, he’s all about the texts and calls, right? You’re feeding his ego with the constant “Heyyy, what’s up?” texts. And you know what? He likes it—at first. But then, as time goes on, he starts to think, “She has literally no life of her own.” Cue the existential crisis. He starts to pull away because now he knows, you're not going anywhere. So, instead of diving into the phone every time he rings (and answering in two seconds), let it linger a little. Let him call you. Be mysterious. And whatever you do, don’t tell him every detail of your life while you’re holding your phone hostage. There’s nothing cool about being the one he’s always counting on for attention when he’s not putting in the effort. Be busy. Be interesting. And let him wonder what you're doing.
5. Planning Every Date (And Paying for It Too)
Listen, if you're the one always picking the spot, making the plans, and footin' the bill, here's the cold, hard truth: he's not that into you. (Yeah, I said it.) If a guy truly cares, he’ll plan, he’ll think ahead, and most importantly, he won’t make you pay. If he cancels last minute, that's your cue—he doesn’t respect you. If you're always on the receiving end of “booty calls,” it’s time to reevaluate. Because you're not anyone’s second choice, honey. So, stop being the one who always has to chase him, and let him chase you for once. If he’s serious, he’ll take the lead. If not, save your time—and that paycheck—for someone who appreciates it.
1. The 7-Course Meal That No One Asked For
At home date
You’ve met a guy and somehow, you’ve decided the way to his heart is through your oven. So, what do you do? You bust out your inner Martha Stewart, whipping up a seven-course feast. From the appetizer that totally looks like it came from a Pinterest board (but it’s more likely you burned the scallops), to the decadent dessert you spent hours perfecting, you think, "This is it. This will totally win him over." And what does he say the next morning? “Hey, babe, why are your eye bags, like, so noticeable? And is that concealer?” Because nothing says "I'm ready for a relationship" like a sleep-deprived cook. Here’s the trick—skip the three-day soufflé saga. Just order some takeout, share a pizza, laugh about it, and for once, let it be easy. Guys don't need a five-star meal to appreciate you—they just want something that’s tasty, and ideally, easy on your mental health.
2. The Overzealous “Wifey” Behavior
Making bed
If you’re overcompensating by pretending you’re auditioning for The Real Housewives of His Life, stop. Just, stop. We’re talking about the girl who remodels his life after one date. You rearrange his furniture, fold his socks into tiny little origamis, and suddenly, the poor guy can't remember which is his living room and which is the bedroom. By the time you leave, you’ve made everything so domesticated that he feels like he’s in a relationship with his mother. Here’s the thing—men freak out at the first hint of “commitment.” They’re not ready to sign up for wife duties on the second date. And if they see you trying too hard, they think: Yikes, is she that desperate? Pro tip: Don’t do his laundry. You’re not his cleaning lady, and this isn’t an audition for Happily Ever After just yet.
3. Giving It All Away Too Soon (And We Mean Everything)
Couple
Okay, we need to talk about the premature commitment... to bed. Here’s the thing: most guys want you to say no. Not because they don’t like you (well, maybe a little, but that's not the point), but because they want to think you’re different. Like, the kind of woman who’s worth the chase. But what happens when you’re too eager to get physical? He starts wondering how many guys you’ve been with, and suddenly, he’s not as sure about you. And that’s when you go from “the one he’s been dreaming of” to “just another one of those girls who loves quickly.” So, keep some mystery. Don’t roll out the red carpet on date one. You want to leave him thinking, “Hmm, I wonder what she’s like…?” Instead of, “Well, that was... quick.”
4. Calling Him Way Too Much (Spam Alert)
Calling
Now, at first, he’s all about the texts and calls, right? You’re feeding his ego with the constant “Heyyy, what’s up?” texts. And you know what? He likes it—at first. But then, as time goes on, he starts to think, “She has literally no life of her own.” Cue the existential crisis. He starts to pull away because now he knows, you're not going anywhere. So, instead of diving into the phone every time he rings (and answering in two seconds), let it linger a little. Let him call you. Be mysterious. And whatever you do, don’t tell him every detail of your life while you’re holding your phone hostage. There’s nothing cool about being the one he’s always counting on for attention when he’s not putting in the effort. Be busy. Be interesting. And let him wonder what you're doing.
5. Planning Every Date (And Paying for It Too)
Coffee date
Listen, if you're the one always picking the spot, making the plans, and footin' the bill, here's the cold, hard truth: he's not that into you. (Yeah, I said it.) If a guy truly cares, he’ll plan, he’ll think ahead, and most importantly, he won’t make you pay. If he cancels last minute, that's your cue—he doesn’t respect you. If you're always on the receiving end of “booty calls,” it’s time to reevaluate. Because you're not anyone’s second choice, honey. So, stop being the one who always has to chase him, and let him chase you for once. If he’s serious, he’ll take the lead. If not, save your time—and that paycheck—for someone who appreciates it.