7 ways to Balance Discipline and Freedom in Your Parenting Style

Nidhi | Sep 27, 2024, 18:07 IST

Finding the right balance between discipline and freedom in parenting can be challenging. In this guide, explore seven practical strategies to help you nurture your child while maintaining necessary boundaries. By integrating discipline with a sense of freedom, you can create a supportive environment that encourages independence and growth. These tips will empower you to cultivate a positive parenting approach that fosters responsibility and self-confidence in your children.

There’s a classic overheard phrase that every parent says, “When you’re going to become a parent, then you’ll experience." We all have fought for the freedom to do things our own way, often thinking, “Why won’t they just let me be?” or “Do they not love me enough to let me have my way?” We all have been there, but as we grew up, we got the answer of “WHY?”. Definitely, too much freedom can be just as harmful as too little. There’s a fine line between setting boundaries and allowing things to be done in their own way, and it all depends on maintaining the right balance to raise healthy, happy kids.

Here are 7 ways to strike that balance between discipline and freedom in your parenting style:

1.Understand the world through your child’s lens

Children thrive when they feel understood and supported. Be actively involved in your child’s daily activities and interests. Ask about their school, hobbies, and friendships, and spend time together doing things they enjoy. This involvement helps build trust and keeps you connected to their world, making it easier to set limits without seeming restrictions.

Spend time with your children

Tip: Take out time for your children, play their favorite game, do activities that you love together, and spend family time; it helps in building trust and connection.

2.Acknowledge and empathize with their feelings

When somebody gives free advice without knowing the situation, it is frustrating, right? Now imagine how it feels for children when we do the same to them. Take a moment, have a conversation, understand their problem from their perspective, and then advise. It’s not just about telling them what to do; it’s about guiding them with empathy and insight.

Listen to them

Tip: Acknowledge their feelings and then put your point: “We understand you, but this is the reason why we have this rule.”

3.Set clear and consistent boundaries

While freedom is essential for a child’s development, setting boundaries is equally important. Children feel safer when they understand what is expected of them and the consequences of their actions. Setting consistent rules helps them learn responsibility and the difference between right and wrong.

Balance Discipline

Tip: Ensure your rules are simple, age-appropriate, and consistent. Explain the “why” behind each rule so they understand the intention, not just the consequence.

4.Become a role model for your children

There’s a phrase “We learn from our surroundings”; the same works for the kids. Create an environment that reflects self-discipline in your own life—whether it’s managing time, working hard, or dealing with setbacks, your children are surely going to be influenced.

Become a role model

Tip: Share your experiences with them, explaining how discipline helps you succeed in various aspects of life. This helps children see the value in discipline, rather than viewing it as just a set of rules.

5.Give them autonomy depending upon their age

Parents want their children to grow up and take responsibilities. With time, allow your children to do things on their own as it builds confidence, whether it’s choosing their clothes for the day, deciding on an extracurricular activity, or managing their homework. They’ll learn and grow with time.

Let them take responsibilities

Tip: Offer options within boundaries. For example, instead of enforcing a specific bedtime routine, give them the freedom to choose the order in which they complete tasks as long as they meet the bedtime.

6.Stay Patient and Unaffected When They Don’t Understand

Children are like new students in a classroom; they used to observe, understand, learn, make mistakes, and evolve over the period.
They're fresh learners. When you, as a parent, set boundaries and rules, they don’t know why certain rules exist, and it's common for them to react that doesn't work in favor, resist, or might say hurtful things in the heat of the moment. But instead of taking it personally, we must embrace patience and empathy. Understand that they're still figuring out the world.

Understand and Empathize

Tip: Try to be patient and empathize. Listen to them and then explain your reasoning again, but don’t expect they will understand or agree with you instantly or always. Maintain the boundaries with compassion; while growing up, they’ll get you.

7.Find Balance in Your Responses

It’s easy in parenting to be too strict or too easygoing, but the goal is to find balance in how to tackle your child’s behavior. Discipline should be consistent but fair, and freedom should be given with some limits.

Balance Discipline and Freedom

Tip: When your child makes a mistake, focus on learning rather than punishment. Use the opportunity to discuss what went wrong and how they can handle it better next time, without making them feel ashamed or powerless.

It’s not about being perfect, but about finding what works for your family.