8 Unseen Wounds: What a Slap Really Teaches Your Child

Indian parenting has long carried the weight of discipline-as-control. Phrases like:

"Lathon ke bhoot baaton se nahi maante.""Hamare maa-baap ne humein bhi maara, hum theek hain.""Thoda maar toh zaroori hai."These are not just words. They’re philosophies disguised as parenting. The idea is simple: children must obey. And if they don’t? You must show them who's boss.

But is it really obedience we achieve? Or fear dressed up as respect?


Child psychologists and researchers globally agree: corporal punishment has long-lasting negative effects.

Emotional Impact:

Lower self-esteemIncreased anxiety and depressionDifficulty forming secure attachmentsBehavioral Effects:

Kids who are hit are more likely to become either aggressive or extremely withdrawnThey often replicate the behavior in their own adult livesNeurological Damage:

Studies have shown that frequent physical punishment can alter brain structure, especially in young children, where emotional regulation is still developing.So, no, your child isn’t getting "stronger" or "smarter" with every beating. They’re getting quieter. That’s not discipline. That’s damage.


What if we turned to ancient wisdom instead of age-old habits?

In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna never punishes Arjuna. Even when Arjuna is confused, stubborn, and lost. Krishna listens. He guides. He reasons.

Key Lessons from the Gita:

Ahimsa (Non-Violence): Not just physical, but verbal and emotional as well.Detachment from Ego: Parenting often becomes a battle of egos.Guidance Over Control: Krishna doesn’t control Arjuna. He empowers him with knowledge and then lets him choose.What if parents treated their children like Krishna treated Arjuna?


Ravi, 28: "My dad hit me with a belt once for scoring 75%. I never forgot the marks—not on my back, but in my mind. I’m terrified of failure even today."

Meghna, 34: "My mom used to slap me whenever she was stressed. I became a people-pleaser. Always terrified of disappointing others."

Aarav, 19: "My parents never hit me. They sat me down. Talked. I could confess anything without fear. And that made me respect them even more."

Fear doesn’t equal respect. Respect comes from connection, not control.


Let’s be honest. Most parents don’t hit because they want to harm. They hit because:

They were hit too.They don’t know another way.They’re overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted.This is where compassion meets accountability.

Yes, we must forgive our parents for what they didn’t know. But we must not repeat it.


1. Pause, Then React:Take a deep breath. Step away for 5 minutes. Give both yourself and the child space to de-escalate.

2. Talk, Don’t Threaten:Try: "What you did was wrong. Let’s talk about why."Instead of: "Do it again and see what happens."

3. Teach by Example:You want your child to be patient? Be patient.You want them to listen? Listen first.

4. Apologize When You Mess Up:Saying sorry to your child doesn’t reduce your authority. It builds trust.

5. Educate Yourself:Parenting workshops, books, therapy—it’s not weakness. It’s wisdom.


Some children are raised in silence. Not because they were taught not to speak, but because they were too afraid to. Years later, they become adults who:

Struggle with communicationHave trust issuesFeel unsafe in emotionally intimate relationshipsDiscipline doesn’t mean erasing identity. It means shaping it with patience, honesty, and compassion.

If your child could speak freely, they might say:

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