Am I Hard to Love or Just Easy to Leave? - Gita Answers
Riya Kumari | Jun 09, 2025, 23:29 IST
( Image credit : Freepik, Timeslife )
Let’s be honest. At some point between stalking our ex’s wedding hashtags and binge-watching reels on “self-love” while crying into cheese fries, we’ve all asked the question: Am I hard to love? Or worse—am I just that easy to leave? It’s a question that hits you somewhere between your third situationship and your 2AM identity crisis. And while your therapist gives you a calm smile and a worksheet, the Bhagavad Gita—yes, the 700-verse spiritual TED Talk delivered by Lord Krishna mid-battle—has something else to say.
It starts small. A message left unanswered. A vibe gone cold. The slow fade of someone who once called you “their person.” And in the silence that follows, the question creeps in:
“Is it me?”
“Am I too much to love?”
Or worse—am I just too easy to leave?”
It’s not just a dating question. It’s a human one. And it’s older than any modern heartbreak anthem or tweet thread on attachment styles. Even older than that one friend who always tells you to “just focus on yourself.” If you're wondering where to find answers that aren't Instagram quotes or self-help cliches, maybe it's time to ask someone who knew a thing or two about detachment, duty, and the ache of being misunderstood. Enter: Lord Krishna. Scene: Kurukshetra battlefield. Audience: One confused warrior and… you, apparently.
PART 1: The Question Isn't “Am I Hard to Love?” It's “What Do I Think Love Owes Me?”
We often think if someone leaves, it means we weren’t enough. But Krishna flips the mirror: “You are eternal,” he says. “What is real in you cannot be touched by rejection.” What does that mean in plain language? You were never supposed to be defined by someone else’s ability to stay. Love is not about being chosen. It’s about choosing, fully, even when the world doesn’t clap for it.
We’re taught to measure love by how long it lasts, how loudly it’s shown, or how many times it’s posted. But Krishna’s love isn’t loud. It’s still. And in that stillness, you realize: You’re not “hard to love.” You’ve just been looking for love in people who haven’t even loved themselves yet.
PART 2: Let Them Leave. The Right Ones Don’t Need Chains.
Krishna didn’t beg Arjuna to fight. He explained the truth, then left him free to choose. That’s real love—it empowers. It doesn’t imprison. If someone left you easily, maybe it’s not because you lacked something. Maybe it’s because they weren’t meant to carry the kind of depth you hold.
You see, not everyone can hold still when faced with someone real. Real love requires courage. To stay. To grow. To be seen. And that kind of courage is rare. Let them go. Not to prove you’re strong. But because you’re wise enough to know—love that needs convincing isn’t love. It’s negotiation. And your soul was never meant to beg.
PART 3: Desire Hurts. Expectation Hurts More. But Attachment? That’s What Buries You.
In the Gita, Krishna says something radical: “You have a right to your actions, but never to the results.” Let that sink in. We do everything right—listen deeply, love honestly, try again and again—and still, sometimes, people leave. And it crushes us. Not because they left, but because we expected them to stay.
Krishna isn’t saying don’t love. He’s saying: Don’t make the outcome your god. You gave love? That was the point. You were kind? That was the win. You stayed true? That was your power. Whatever happened after, that’s their karma, not yours.
PART 4: You’re Not Meant to Be Understood by Everyone—Especially Not by Those Who Haven’t Met Themselves Yet.
Some people leave not because you're hard to love, but because they don’t know how to receive love. Especially the kind that requires presence, depth, and accountability. You didn’t scare them. You showed them what they hadn’t yet become. You didn’t push them away. You reflected back their unwillingness to grow.
Krishna never forced understanding. He offered truth. And truth is a mirror—some look into it and begin a journey. Others run. Let them.
FINAL THOUGHT:
The Gita doesn’t promise you that love will always stay. But it does promise that you will always remain. Untouched by those who couldn’t understand you. Unshaken by those who chose lesser paths. So, no. You’re not hard to love. You’re just built from truth. And truth isn’t always easy to stay with.
But it’s the only thing that stays when everything else leaves. And that… is what you are. Let people go in peace. Stay in truth, not in pain. And never confuse leaving with loss—sometimes, it’s just space being made for someone who doesn’t need to be convinced.
“Is it me?”
“Am I too much to love?”
Or worse—am I just too easy to leave?”
It’s not just a dating question. It’s a human one. And it’s older than any modern heartbreak anthem or tweet thread on attachment styles. Even older than that one friend who always tells you to “just focus on yourself.” If you're wondering where to find answers that aren't Instagram quotes or self-help cliches, maybe it's time to ask someone who knew a thing or two about detachment, duty, and the ache of being misunderstood. Enter: Lord Krishna. Scene: Kurukshetra battlefield. Audience: One confused warrior and… you, apparently.
PART 1: The Question Isn't “Am I Hard to Love?” It's “What Do I Think Love Owes Me?”
We’re taught to measure love by how long it lasts, how loudly it’s shown, or how many times it’s posted. But Krishna’s love isn’t loud. It’s still. And in that stillness, you realize: You’re not “hard to love.” You’ve just been looking for love in people who haven’t even loved themselves yet.
PART 2: Let Them Leave. The Right Ones Don’t Need Chains.
You see, not everyone can hold still when faced with someone real. Real love requires courage. To stay. To grow. To be seen. And that kind of courage is rare. Let them go. Not to prove you’re strong. But because you’re wise enough to know—love that needs convincing isn’t love. It’s negotiation. And your soul was never meant to beg.
PART 3: Desire Hurts. Expectation Hurts More. But Attachment? That’s What Buries You.
Krishna isn’t saying don’t love. He’s saying: Don’t make the outcome your god. You gave love? That was the point. You were kind? That was the win. You stayed true? That was your power. Whatever happened after, that’s their karma, not yours.
PART 4: You’re Not Meant to Be Understood by Everyone—Especially Not by Those Who Haven’t Met Themselves Yet.
Krishna never forced understanding. He offered truth. And truth is a mirror—some look into it and begin a journey. Others run. Let them.
FINAL THOUGHT:
But it’s the only thing that stays when everything else leaves. And that… is what you are. Let people go in peace. Stay in truth, not in pain. And never confuse leaving with loss—sometimes, it’s just space being made for someone who doesn’t need to be convinced.