Chanakya Niti - How to Get Your Ex Back (Even The One Who Don't Want You)

When you’re in love, you are not a philosopher. You are a clown with Wi-Fi. So spare me the “communicate openly” advice. That only works when both people are emotionally mature, which is never during a breakup. You get them back by being unavailable, regulated, and mildly terrifying in how okay you are without them. Most people don’t lose their ex because of the breakup. They lose them in the weeks after - by oversharing, overexplaining, and emotionally free-shipping themselves. This is how you stop that spiral.

Say what you feel once. Not a diary dump. Not “I just wanted to be honest” followed by 17 voice notes. One message. Calm. Controlled. Not because it’ll fix anything, it won’t. But because unsaid feelings mutate into resentment, and resentment turns you bitter, sloppy, and embarrassing. And over-expression turns you into spam. Nobody rereads spam and thinks, “Wow. I miss this energy.”

Example: “I cared. I wanted this to work. I’m stepping back now.”

No “but if you ever…”

No “I just want closure.”

Because if you don’t, they’ll come out later as: angry texts, passive-aggressive jokes or “accidental” drunk calls. Closure is a scam sold by people who can’t tolerate uncertainty. That’s sealing the bottle so emotions don’t spill mid-game. After this - no more explaining. Ever. When you text instantly, you look desperate. When you disappear, you look busy or over it. Busy or over it always wins. So, disappear like you were never desperate in the first place. Never block. Blocking screams overwhelmed.

Now you do the hardest thing known to humankind: Nothing. You stop. No texting. No checking stories. No “just reacting to one post.” No “accidental” replies. You are not busy. You are gone. You’re not ignoring them to punish them. You’re removing access because access was being abused. People don’t miss people. They miss access. And when access is gone, the brain panics: “Wait… why am I not important anymore?” Congrats. You just became interesting again.

Then you do something even worse (for them): You deactivate your socials. Now they can’t: Check your stories. Monitor your life. See who you’re with. You’ve removed their security camera. The human brain hates unfinished processes. You become a software bug they keep reopening. Nothing freaks someone out like realizing they can’t track your life anymore.

• Go to the gym
• Fix your routine
• Learn something new
• Meet new people
• Focus on money / work

Not because “self-love” But because nothing is scarier than someone who stopped centering you. You post sometimes. Not thirst traps. Not quotes. Just: Gym class, Coffee with friends, Normal life. Enough to say: “I didn’t collapse after you.” That alone messes with people. Perception resets when identity shifts. When you look anchored, the old story about you collapses.

Now comes the part most people mess up by rushing. After months, not weeks, you do something confusing.

• You Message once, Then stop replying. No explanation.
• When you come back weeks later? You post once. Then disappear again.
• Now you escalate confusion. You ask to hang out. Then you cancel casually: “Something came up.” No apology essay.
• Then later, you suggest meeting again. People get addicted to inconsistency.
• When you meet: You flirt. You laugh. You keep it light. No: “What are we?” You let them wonder.
• If they try to speed things up? You slow it down.
• If they ask what this is? “I don’t know. I’m just seeing how it feels.” That line alone will haunt them.
• Now comes the loop. Let them initiate. Respond late (2–3 days) But Stay polite and warm

Why? Because people chase people who don’t chase them. When they’re emotionally back in: You say something subtle like: “I don’t know… I’m realizing certain personality traits don’t work for me.” Then you do not explain. And then you ghost. The brain cannot stop replaying something it doesn’t understand. You’ve given them a problem with no solution. That’s regret.

First, understand this very clearly: You Should NOT follow them. Because Creepy = game over. You are placing yourself in predictable, socially normal environments where overlap is plausible. If it wouldn’t make sense to explain casually, don’t do it. Examples: A gym they used to go to. A café they always worked from. A bookstore, class, park, coworking space, yoga studio. Mutual friend hangouts, events, familiar neighborhoods.

This is the entire strategy. You do nothing. Nothing messes with an ex like realizing you can exist in the same space and not emotionally combust. If they come over? You’re polite. Light. Normal. Minimal. Neutral. Present. Then You leave. Because now their brain does the work:

“Wait… that was it?”

“They didn’t need more?”

“Why do I feel weird?”

You just planted unfinished business. Humans are wired to believe in fate, not effort.

This only works if you’re genuinely okay with losing them. If you’re doing all this while secretly waiting - you’ll slip. You’ll over-text. You’ll confess. You’ll collapse the strategy. But the moment you truly move on? That’s usually when they panic and return.