Chanakya Niti: If You’re Confused If They Like You Or Not, The Answer Is No

Let’s be honest. The most rookie mistake people make in dating is not “double texting” or “replying too fast.” It is wasting their entire emotional bandwidth on someone who treats them like an optional side quest. You are sitting there decoding one “hmm” like it is a government document. Checking their following list like you work for the FBI. Crying because they watched your story but did not reply. And then calling it “chemistry.” No babe. That is not chemistry. That is unpaid labour.

Some people don’t want you. They want attention. They want the comfort of knowing you are still there, available like a puppy that keeps knocking at the door just because someone fed it once. And you? You keep walking into fire expecting to be healed. Cute. Very poetic. Also very stupid. You are not proving your worth by chasing someone who gives you crumbs. You are convenient. Available. Remember when they sent you one text and you were already on the chat? So don’t even deny it. You have no boundaries or self-respect when it comes to this person, so they keep you around for whatever feels good to them.

Maybe their dream partner is not texting, so they need a distraction. Maybe they feel bad, so they need validation. Maybe they need an ego boost. But none of this means you are the one they would leave the world for. Date the boring ones for once. The ones who reply instantly. The ones who choose you without making you work for it. The ones who make plans and stay consistent. The ones who do not make you feel like you are competing with every person in their following list and their best friend. Because crying, chasing, stalking, overthinking, and getting ghosted is not passion. It is a lack of reciprocal feelings.

When someone actually likes you, you don’t wake up looking at their profile to see who new they followed, or checking your story views to see if they watched this one, or sleeping while listening to Exile by Taylor Swift and crying every single night. You don’t pay for an astrologer or watch 50 tarot card videos on your phone to find out if they will text back or not, or if the third party will be gone or not.

When someone likes you, they can try their best to hide their feelings, but it will be so evident. You will be the most confident and happy person in the world. That is what love does to a person. It makes them brave. It does not make them lower their self-esteem and standards just to keep accepting crumbs. They reply like their phone has been personally blessed by Taylor Swift during the You Belong With Me era. They may act cool for five minutes, but real feelings leak. No one is that mysterious. You are double texting while they are sad for the one who is not calling them.

Let’s kill this fantasy today. They are not “shy.” They are not commitment-phobic but still wanting access to you. They are not afraid of commitment with you while being in a relationship with someone else. When they say they are “not emotionally available,” the silent part is: with you. They are just not that interested. Confusion happens when someone does not want you enough, but also does not want to look like the villain. So they keep you hanging. They reply once in three business days. They disappear. They come back with, “Sorry, been busy.” Busy doing what? Chasing other people?

And also, why not? You want people who don’t like you to tell you that daily through their actions, yet you still don’t understand. So why would they put in so much effort and drama to explain how little you mean to them? And because they gave you one half-decent conversation two weeks ago, you start acting like this is a slow-burn romance. Babe, this is not Before Sunrise. This is you being parked in the placeholder zone. In the second-option zone. Maybe even the last-option zone. “Let’s see where it goes” usually means it is going nowhere, but they would like benefits on the way.

Wisdom is walking away first. From them. From the bare minimum. From the version of them you built in your head. From your own delusion and fantasies. Because somebody who wants you will not put you through this. Do not send 30 “just so you know” messages. Do not keep liking sad songs, posting stories, and indirectly telling them how badly they hurt you. Do not try to prove how much better you are.

Just focus on you. For you. Until then, disappear and heal. Then choose healed people. People who actually like you. People who say it from the start. People who stay consistent with what they say. Because love should not feel like begging someone to notice what they already know.