Chanakya Niti: Love Isn’t Fair, Especially to Women Who Play Fair
Riya Kumari | Jun 13, 2025, 18:13 IST
There’s a moment. Always. A moment where she finds the texts. Or catches the weird change in his tone. Or just knows. And suddenly, there it is—the sucker punch. The betrayal. The crash of the pedestal she didn’t even know she’d put him on. And here’s the kicker: she’s the “good girl.” Kind. Loyal. Punctual with birthday surprises. Supportive of his dreams, even when they involve startups that sell, like, biodegradable forks or something.
There’s a strange silence that follows betrayal. Not the loud kind that shatters glass. The quiet kind. The kind that sits with you when you’re brushing your teeth, standing in line for coffee, pretending to be fine. You go back over every moment. Was I too much? Was I not enough? And worst of all—Why me? Why do the girls who love fully, forgive easily, and show up every single time… always seem to get blindsided? Now, before you blame the moon, your past life karma, or the plot twist gods of Netflix, let’s take a pause. Because someone from 2300 years ago might’ve seen this coming. And more importantly—what they need to remember next time.
1. Being “good” is not protection. It’s often camouflage
We’ve been told that goodness is like a shield—that if we’re kind, selfless, loyal, it’ll protect us. But Chanakya saw the world differently. He believed that the world is not run by ideals. It’s run by motives. And unfortunately, goodness without awareness often makes you the easiest person to take for granted. So no, your kindness wasn’t the problem.
Your assumption that it would be enough to earn respect? That’s what failed you. Because in a world where people act from self-interest, goodness that isn’t paired with clarity and self-respect becomes invisible. Chanakya would’ve said: “A person without strategy is a tree without roots—easily shaken.”
2. Loyalty is powerful. But only when it’s earned, not offered blindly
There’s a quiet pride many of us carry—“I never gave up on him.” But here’s the question Chanakya would ask: Was he worthy of that kind of faith? Because loyalty to someone who lies, cheats, or disrespects isn’t strength. It’s misdirected energy.
When you give gold to someone who treats it like dust, it doesn’t prove your value. It proves they never deserved it in the first place. A line from Chanakya’s Arthashastra reads: “A wise person evaluates worth before investing resources.”
Apply that to your heart.
3. People don’t cheat because you lacked something. They cheat because they did
Let’s destroy the myth: You didn’t get cheated on because you were boring, emotional, too strong, too soft, too anything. You got cheated on because the person you trusted made a choice based on their emptiness, not your inadequacy. Cheating is not a comment on your worth.
It’s a reflection of their inability to face themselves, their cowardice, or their hunger for power, attention, escape. As Chanakya put it: “The unwise man blames others. The wise sees clearly—and walks away.”
4. Stop teaching people that you’ll stay, no matter what
Let’s be real. Some people don’t learn when they hurt you. They learn when you leave. Every time you forgive what should have been a dealbreaker, you unknowingly set the bar lower. Not just for them—but for yourself. Chanakya believed in “detachment from the unworthy.”
Not out of bitterness, but because self-preservation is not cruelty—it’s wisdom. And here’s the thing: You don’t owe anyone your endless understanding at the cost of your own exhaustion.
5. “Goodness” isn’t just sweetness. It’s strength. Strategy. Standards
Chanakya’s teachings weren’t just about power—they were about discernment. He taught that a wise person doesn’t just act out of love. They act with foresight. You can be loving and firm. Kind and cautious. Giving and guarded. In fact, the most dangerous kind of “good girl”?
The one who knows her worth. Who chooses people with care. Who walks away when her heart is not honored. That girl? She doesn’t just survive betrayal. She becomes someone who’s never betrayed again.
Final Thought:
If you’re sitting with a heartbreak and a thousand questions, let this be your takeaway: You were never wrong for loving deeply. You were wrong for thinking it was enough to protect you. Next time, don’t just bring love to the table. Bring standards. Bring boundaries. Bring awareness. That’s not becoming cold. That’s becoming wise.
And somewhere, Chanakya would smile—not because you followed his strategy, but because you finally saw the game for what it was… And chose to play by your own rules.
1. Being “good” is not protection. It’s often camouflage
Boundary
( Image credit : Pexels )
We’ve been told that goodness is like a shield—that if we’re kind, selfless, loyal, it’ll protect us. But Chanakya saw the world differently. He believed that the world is not run by ideals. It’s run by motives. And unfortunately, goodness without awareness often makes you the easiest person to take for granted. So no, your kindness wasn’t the problem.
Your assumption that it would be enough to earn respect? That’s what failed you. Because in a world where people act from self-interest, goodness that isn’t paired with clarity and self-respect becomes invisible. Chanakya would’ve said: “A person without strategy is a tree without roots—easily shaken.”
2. Loyalty is powerful. But only when it’s earned, not offered blindly
Loyalty
( Image credit : Pexels )
There’s a quiet pride many of us carry—“I never gave up on him.” But here’s the question Chanakya would ask: Was he worthy of that kind of faith? Because loyalty to someone who lies, cheats, or disrespects isn’t strength. It’s misdirected energy.
When you give gold to someone who treats it like dust, it doesn’t prove your value. It proves they never deserved it in the first place. A line from Chanakya’s Arthashastra reads: “A wise person evaluates worth before investing resources.”
Apply that to your heart.
3. People don’t cheat because you lacked something. They cheat because they did
Mirror
( Image credit : Pexels )
Let’s destroy the myth: You didn’t get cheated on because you were boring, emotional, too strong, too soft, too anything. You got cheated on because the person you trusted made a choice based on their emptiness, not your inadequacy. Cheating is not a comment on your worth.
It’s a reflection of their inability to face themselves, their cowardice, or their hunger for power, attention, escape. As Chanakya put it: “The unwise man blames others. The wise sees clearly—and walks away.”
4. Stop teaching people that you’ll stay, no matter what
Sorry
( Image credit : Pexels )
Let’s be real. Some people don’t learn when they hurt you. They learn when you leave. Every time you forgive what should have been a dealbreaker, you unknowingly set the bar lower. Not just for them—but for yourself. Chanakya believed in “detachment from the unworthy.”
Not out of bitterness, but because self-preservation is not cruelty—it’s wisdom. And here’s the thing: You don’t owe anyone your endless understanding at the cost of your own exhaustion.
5. “Goodness” isn’t just sweetness. It’s strength. Strategy. Standards
Yes No
( Image credit : Pexels )
Chanakya’s teachings weren’t just about power—they were about discernment. He taught that a wise person doesn’t just act out of love. They act with foresight. You can be loving and firm. Kind and cautious. Giving and guarded. In fact, the most dangerous kind of “good girl”?
The one who knows her worth. Who chooses people with care. Who walks away when her heart is not honored. That girl? She doesn’t just survive betrayal. She becomes someone who’s never betrayed again.
Final Thought:
And somewhere, Chanakya would smile—not because you followed his strategy, but because you finally saw the game for what it was… And chose to play by your own rules.