Father & Son: A Journey from Affection to Ambition
Kazi Nasir | Jan 25, 2025, 11:22 IST
The article explores the evolving father and son relationship, starting from love and care, where the father acts as a role model mentor shaping the son's worldview and character. As the son enters the stage of adolescence the bond starts facing challenges as the urge for independence starts developing in the son leading to conflicts and misunderstanding. This article emphasizes the need for continuous nurturing of relationships to strengthen this vital and irreplaceable bond.
What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘Dad’? Is it a feeling of ‘Love & Respect’ with a sense of pride, or ‘Grief & Rejection’ with emptiness?
Most of us have a father as our first role model. He is the ‘Hero’ we all wanted to be in our early days. But things change over time. For some, relations with their father remain the same, while for others, things change. Indeed, the relationship between a father and son is also deeply unique, with the father’s role being irreplaceable.
In a world where people applaud listening to Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) and Will Smith for their success and the role their father played in it, they also silently remember that renowned Czech writer Franz Kafka also had a father. In this article, we will explore the transitional relationship between father and son through the passage of time.
‘Love and affection’ are the cornerstone of the relationship between a father and son. This is the time when most fathers feel that the love for their child shouldn’t only be felt but it needs to be expressed. Which time to time manifests in the simple acts of kisses, hugs, and words of encouragement. Security in terms of physical and emotional well-being a father shows concern and interest in a son’s life fostering a safe environment for exploration and growth. This is a crucial time for a father to shape a child’s character and future behaviors.
You have heard a lot about the phrase ‘Be a man’. It is a father who taught his child how to become a man by demonstrating that manhood is not about dominance or aggression but about the capacity to balance strength with empathy and kindness. By injecting a sense of responsibility through action and advice, fostering confidence by believing in his abilities helps create his son’s self-esteem.
All this emotional support and security makes fatherhood an important aspect of a child's life that harbors a fertile ground that shapes and molds the life he is going to live for the rest.
The little man also finds a hero in his small world– his father. He meticulously copies every moment of his looking style, accent, and even body language and these all impact the boy significantly. That is why most experts suggest that parents should strive to be the person He/She wants their son to become, such as by showing kindness to others and practicing other moral behaviors in front of their children. Because these acts will help their children shape their own character and values.
Most people miss their teenage years and dream of living them once again when confronted with the world's harsh challenges and relentless pressure. But have you ever noticed someone who doesn’t want to revisit their teenage memories due to some traumatic and haunting events they endured during that period? There are many, but we will delve into their stories later in this article. First, let's examine the general relations between a father and son at this stage.
At this point, the father-son relationship enters a different stage, and mutual understanding and companionship emerge. The father exposes his child to his ideology, logically tries to prove why his ideology is the only right path, and rationally appeals to his child to continue on his path. Discussions on politics at the dinner table begin, and ideas and faith are exchanged and debated.
At this time, the son obtained some significant wisdom from his father's lifelong experience and learning, which helped him understand the necessity of boundaries and rules to lay the foundation for self-control.
Self-control is a vital skill that helps a person refrain from instant gratification, control impulsivity, and make the right decisions at the right time.
On the contrary, it should also be noted that during this phase, most teenagers seek autonomy by pushing back rules, prioritizing peer opinions, and even questioning authority. This leads to conflict, and fathers may feel distanced or challenged.
Due to adolescents' experience and hormonal changes, intensified feelings, result in mood swings, withdrawal from interactions, and irritability. These are quite disrespectful behaviors for a father.
At the beginning of this article, we highlighted how a child tries to mimic every possible aspect of their first ‘Hero meticulously’—their father. But as teenagers begin, curiosity leads them to test and experiment with different ideas, behaviors, and styles that may not align with their father.
Some of these challenges make the father struggle to understand certain changes. ‘It’s not my son’s behavior; he is not like that—it’s his friend circle that’s influencing him.’ Misunderstanding and imposing stricter discipline often create a distance between these two sacred relationships.
The person embodying the role of a ‘Father ’ is, in the end, a ‘Human’ with many flaws and vulnerabilities. He encounters failures and disappointments in life, which might be painful experiences. He also grapples with numerous pressures—the pressure of being a husband, fulfilling the role of a father, and managing the demands of social and work obligations.
As earlier discussed, a child undergoes several changes during the teenage years. During this phase, the development of passions and persuasion often differs from that of the father, leading to ego clashes. These clashes arise when either party becomes overly competitive. As a result, both may be confronted with resentment, a sense of inadequacy, and frustration. Constant comparison overshadows the nurturing aspects of the sacred relationship.
18th-century Czech writer Franz Kafka is a good example of this. He is also known for his complex and deeply strained relationship with his father. The relationship is often marked by emotional conflict, a sense of alienation, and felt with a feeling of inadequacy. That depicts a source of inner conflict and influenced Kafka's work as well.
In his words “What was always incomprehensible to me was your total lack of feeling for the suffering and shame you could inflict on me with your words and judgments.”
Kafka goes on to say that because of the hostility his father expressed against him as a child, he now turns against himself. “My father’s method of upbringing had saddled me with a general load of fear, weakness, and self-contempt.”
The relationship between a father and son is an essential pillar in a young man’s life. That shapes our character, impacts future relationships, and influences decisions. Like every other essential element of life that requires attention and care, this bond also requires continuous nurturing.
Most of us have a father as our first role model. He is the ‘Hero’ we all wanted to be in our early days. But things change over time. For some, relations with their father remain the same, while for others, things change. Indeed, the relationship between a father and son is also deeply unique, with the father’s role being irreplaceable.
In a world where people applaud listening to Dwayne Johnson (The Rock) and Will Smith for their success and the role their father played in it, they also silently remember that renowned Czech writer Franz Kafka also had a father. In this article, we will explore the transitional relationship between father and son through the passage of time.
The Early Stage Between 4 to 12
Early Father-Son Bond
‘Love and affection’ are the cornerstone of the relationship between a father and son. This is the time when most fathers feel that the love for their child shouldn’t only be felt but it needs to be expressed. Which time to time manifests in the simple acts of kisses, hugs, and words of encouragement. Security in terms of physical and emotional well-being a father shows concern and interest in a son’s life fostering a safe environment for exploration and growth. This is a crucial time for a father to shape a child’s character and future behaviors.
You have heard a lot about the phrase ‘Be a man’. It is a father who taught his child how to become a man by demonstrating that manhood is not about dominance or aggression but about the capacity to balance strength with empathy and kindness. By injecting a sense of responsibility through action and advice, fostering confidence by believing in his abilities helps create his son’s self-esteem.
All this emotional support and security makes fatherhood an important aspect of a child's life that harbors a fertile ground that shapes and molds the life he is going to live for the rest.
The little man also finds a hero in his small world– his father. He meticulously copies every moment of his looking style, accent, and even body language and these all impact the boy significantly. That is why most experts suggest that parents should strive to be the person He/She wants their son to become, such as by showing kindness to others and practicing other moral behaviors in front of their children. Because these acts will help their children shape their own character and values.
Beginning and Transitions In Teenage
Father-Son Bond in Teenage
Most people miss their teenage years and dream of living them once again when confronted with the world's harsh challenges and relentless pressure. But have you ever noticed someone who doesn’t want to revisit their teenage memories due to some traumatic and haunting events they endured during that period? There are many, but we will delve into their stories later in this article. First, let's examine the general relations between a father and son at this stage.
At this point, the father-son relationship enters a different stage, and mutual understanding and companionship emerge. The father exposes his child to his ideology, logically tries to prove why his ideology is the only right path, and rationally appeals to his child to continue on his path. Discussions on politics at the dinner table begin, and ideas and faith are exchanged and debated.
At this time, the son obtained some significant wisdom from his father's lifelong experience and learning, which helped him understand the necessity of boundaries and rules to lay the foundation for self-control.
Self-control is a vital skill that helps a person refrain from instant gratification, control impulsivity, and make the right decisions at the right time.
On the contrary, it should also be noted that during this phase, most teenagers seek autonomy by pushing back rules, prioritizing peer opinions, and even questioning authority. This leads to conflict, and fathers may feel distanced or challenged.
Due to adolescents' experience and hormonal changes, intensified feelings, result in mood swings, withdrawal from interactions, and irritability. These are quite disrespectful behaviors for a father.
At the beginning of this article, we highlighted how a child tries to mimic every possible aspect of their first ‘Hero meticulously’—their father. But as teenagers begin, curiosity leads them to test and experiment with different ideas, behaviors, and styles that may not align with their father.
Some of these challenges make the father struggle to understand certain changes. ‘It’s not my son’s behavior; he is not like that—it’s his friend circle that’s influencing him.’ Misunderstanding and imposing stricter discipline often create a distance between these two sacred relationships.
Competition Between Father and Son
Teenage Begins with Independence
The person embodying the role of a ‘Father ’ is, in the end, a ‘Human’ with many flaws and vulnerabilities. He encounters failures and disappointments in life, which might be painful experiences. He also grapples with numerous pressures—the pressure of being a husband, fulfilling the role of a father, and managing the demands of social and work obligations.
As earlier discussed, a child undergoes several changes during the teenage years. During this phase, the development of passions and persuasion often differs from that of the father, leading to ego clashes. These clashes arise when either party becomes overly competitive. As a result, both may be confronted with resentment, a sense of inadequacy, and frustration. Constant comparison overshadows the nurturing aspects of the sacred relationship.
Franz Kafka Relationship with His Father
18th-century Czech writer Franz Kafka is a good example of this. He is also known for his complex and deeply strained relationship with his father. The relationship is often marked by emotional conflict, a sense of alienation, and felt with a feeling of inadequacy. That depicts a source of inner conflict and influenced Kafka's work as well.
In his words “What was always incomprehensible to me was your total lack of feeling for the suffering and shame you could inflict on me with your words and judgments.”
Kafka goes on to say that because of the hostility his father expressed against him as a child, he now turns against himself. “My father’s method of upbringing had saddled me with a general load of fear, weakness, and self-contempt.”
Relationship Needs Nourishment
The relationship between a father and son is an essential pillar in a young man’s life. That shapes our character, impacts future relationships, and influences decisions. Like every other essential element of life that requires attention and care, this bond also requires continuous nurturing.