Your Idea of Love is Just a Reflection of Your Own Insecurities—The Gita’s Hard Truth
Nidhi | Feb 26, 2025, 17:04 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
Love is often mistaken for attachment, but what if our perception of love is just a reflection of our insecurities? The Bhagavad Gita teaches that true love is not about possession but liberation. This article explores how our fears and emotional voids shape relationships and how ancient wisdom can guide us toward selfless, fulfilling love. By understanding detachment, self-worth, and divine love, we can break free from the cycle of need-based affection and embrace a deeper, more spiritual connection.
“Love is not about possession. It is about appreciation.” – Osho
यम हि सर्वम दुखखम् मन्येन समप्नयन्
यान् न कांक्षेति न द्वेष्टि न शोचति
(Bhagavad Gita 2.15 - "The one who remains undisturbed in sorrow and unattached in happiness, who is steady and wise, is truly fit for liberation.")
Love. The word itself carries warmth, longing, and promises of eternity. But what if I told you that the love you crave is not really love—it's just a mirror reflecting your own insecurities? The Bhagavad Gita gives us a perspective-shattering truth: the love most people chase is rooted in attachment, fear, and self-doubt rather than divine connection and self-contentment.
न त्रियत्या न बहुलायत्य यो न शोचति न कांक्षति
(Bhagavad Gita 12.13 - "One who is free from attachment, hatred, envy, and possessiveness is truly my devotee.")
Most people believe that love will complete them. In reality, love only reflects what we already feel within. If you feel inadequate, you will seek love to compensate for that void. Instead of becoming whole, you become dependent, mistaking attachment for love.
We often seek love to prove our worth: “If they love me, I am enough.” But isn’t that just an illusion? The Gita teaches that true self-worth comes from within, not from external approval.
यम हि सर्वम दुखखम् मन्येन समप्नयन्
(Bhagavad Gita 2.14 - "Happiness and sorrow are temporary; one must learn to remain steady in both.")
If your happiness depends on another person, you’ve given them the power to control your emotional state. True love is about inner stability, not external affirmation.
Most relationships suffer due to the fear of loss. The more we fear, the more we cling. But the Gita reminds us that nothing is permanent.
वसांसि जीर्णानि यथा विहाय
(Bhagavad Gita 2.22 - "Just as a person discards old garments and wears new ones, the soul discards an old body and takes on a new one.")
When we understand impermanence, we stop gripping love out of fear. Love should be freeing, not suffocating.
Jealousy in love arises when we fear we are not enough. We project our insecurities onto our partner, doubting their faithfulness or intentions.
स्वयमि मन्येनमात्मन् यो लब्ध्यताम् प्रमोदम्
(Bhagavad Gita 6.5 - "A man must elevate himself by his own self, not degrade himself. The self is his own friend, and his own enemy.")
Instead of trying to control others, work on your own self-confidence. Love based on trust and inner security thrives; love based on fear withers.
Many use love as an escape from personal struggles. We romanticize relationships, expecting them to fix everything. When reality hits, disappointment follows.
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन
(Bhagavad Gita 2.47 - "You have the right to perform your duty, but never to the fruits of your actions.")
Instead of expecting love to “fix” life, focus on self-improvement. A healthy relationship is a partnership, not a rescue mission.
Krishna teaches Arjuna that self-contentment is the key to everything. If you do not love yourself, no external love will ever feel enough.
आत्मन्येव च संतुष्टः तस्य कार्यं न विद्यते
(Bhagavad Gita 3.17 - "The one who is self-satisfied and content within has no dependence on external actions or validation.")
When you love yourself, you no longer need others to fill emotional voids. Instead, you offer love freely, without conditions.
If your idea of love makes you anxious, insecure, or dependent, it’s time to reflect. Love should be a reflection of your wholeness, not your wounds. The Bhagavad Gita doesn’t dismiss love—it teaches us how to love without losing ourselves.
So, the next time you say "I love you," ask yourself—am I truly loving, or am I just seeking security in someone else?
यम हि सर्वम दुखखम् मन्येन समप्नयन्
यान् न कांक्षेति न द्वेष्टि न शोचति
(Bhagavad Gita 2.15 - "The one who remains undisturbed in sorrow and unattached in happiness, who is steady and wise, is truly fit for liberation.")
Love. The word itself carries warmth, longing, and promises of eternity. But what if I told you that the love you crave is not really love—it's just a mirror reflecting your own insecurities? The Bhagavad Gita gives us a perspective-shattering truth: the love most people chase is rooted in attachment, fear, and self-doubt rather than divine connection and self-contentment.
1. Love as a Mirror: The Illusion of Completion
(Bhagavad Gita 12.13 - "One who is free from attachment, hatred, envy, and possessiveness is truly my devotee.")
Love Yourself
( Image credit : Freepik )
Most people believe that love will complete them. In reality, love only reflects what we already feel within. If you feel inadequate, you will seek love to compensate for that void. Instead of becoming whole, you become dependent, mistaking attachment for love.
2. Seeking Love for Validation: The Ego’s Trap
Couples
( Image credit : Pexels )
यम हि सर्वम दुखखम् मन्येन समप्नयन्
(Bhagavad Gita 2.14 - "Happiness and sorrow are temporary; one must learn to remain steady in both.")
If your happiness depends on another person, you’ve given them the power to control your emotional state. True love is about inner stability, not external affirmation.
3. Fear of Abandonment: Why We Cling to Love
Unhealthy Relationship
( Image credit : Pexels )
वसांसि जीर्णानि यथा विहाय
(Bhagavad Gita 2.22 - "Just as a person discards old garments and wears new ones, the soul discards an old body and takes on a new one.")
When we understand impermanence, we stop gripping love out of fear. Love should be freeing, not suffocating.
4. The Root of Jealousy: A Reflection of Self-Doubt
Insecurity
( Image credit : Pexels )
स्वयमि मन्येनमात्मन् यो लब्ध्यताम् प्रमोदम्
(Bhagavad Gita 6.5 - "A man must elevate himself by his own self, not degrade himself. The self is his own friend, and his own enemy.")
Instead of trying to control others, work on your own self-confidence. Love based on trust and inner security thrives; love based on fear withers.
5. Over-Romanticizing Love: Escaping Reality
Couples
( Image credit : Freepik )
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन
(Bhagavad Gita 2.47 - "You have the right to perform your duty, but never to the fruits of your actions.")
Instead of expecting love to “fix” life, focus on self-improvement. A healthy relationship is a partnership, not a rescue mission.
6. Self-Love: The Foundation of True Love
आत्मन्येव च संतुष्टः तस्य कार्यं न विद्यते
(Bhagavad Gita 3.17 - "The one who is self-satisfied and content within has no dependence on external actions or validation.")
When you love yourself, you no longer need others to fill emotional voids. Instead, you offer love freely, without conditions.
Love Should Set You Free
So, the next time you say "I love you," ask yourself—am I truly loving, or am I just seeking security in someone else?