How to Know Someone’s True Intentions Without Getting Heartbroken - Chanakya Niti
Riya Kumari | Jun 20, 2025, 23:58 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau, Timeslife )
Okay, let’s be honest: figuring out someone’s true intentions is harder than picking a restaurant with a Gemini. One minute they’re texting good morning with three heart emojis, and the next, they’re “just in a weird headspace.” Yeah. Sure, buddy. And I’m the Queen of England. So if you're done playing mind-reader in your own love story and ready to become the main character who actually knows what’s going on, read on.
There’s a quiet kind of heartbreak that doesn’t come from betrayal—it comes from realization. From the slow, sinking awareness that someone you believed in... was never really with you. Not in the way you hoped. Not in the way you deserved. This isn’t about cynicism. This is about wisdom—the kind you earn, not borrow. The kind that feels less like revenge and more like self-respect. Chanakya, one of the sharpest minds in Indian history, once said: “Never trust someone’s words. Trust what they do.” And maybe that’s the first step in saving your heart—understanding that intentions aren’t spoken. They are shown. Let’s talk about the truth. The kind that stings a little but frees you a lot.
1. Observe the Silence Between the Words
“Do not be overly impressed by a person’s sweet words. Find out the truth and only then act.”
You shouldn’t have to beg to be seen. You shouldn’t have to drop hints or test people to make them prove they care. Because people who genuinely care... will show you without being asked. Look at how they act when you’re not directing the script. Do they remember what matters to you? Do they follow through on what they say? Or do they only move when you push? People reveal themselves in the smallest moments—in what they do when you’re not watching, and even more so, when you are, and they still choose not to. The truth doesn’t hide. We just don't always want to look.
2. Don’t Let Admiration Cloud Judgment
“A man is great by deeds, not by birth.”
It’s a dangerous thing to romanticize someone too soon. When you start to imagine what they could be, you stop seeing who they are. Don’t confuse attraction with alignment. Don’t mistake charm for character. You don’t owe anyone the benefit of your doubt when their actions keep showing you exactly who they are. That’s not love.
That’s avoidance. And when you keep someone on a pedestal, all you’re doing is lowering yourself. There’s a difference between seeing someone’s potential and projecting your fantasy onto them. The first is discernment. The second is delusion.
3. Their Reaction to Your Boundaries Says Everything
“A person’s character is tested in times of difficulty.”
You want to know someone’s true face? Tell them no. Say no to something they want from you. Your time, your energy, your silence, your body, your approval. Then watch. Really watch. If they respect it—they respect you. If they guilt you, push you, or punish you for it... then they were never here for the real you.
Just for the version of you that served their needs. What you allow teaches others how to treat you. So when you say no, and someone shows you who they are—believe them the first time. Don’t ask for clarity when life just gave it to you.
4. Trust the Voice That Doesn’t Shout
“He who is overly suspicious will never find peace, but he who ignores his inner warning will suffer.”
Call it instinct. Call it your gut. Call it God. But there’s a voice inside you that always knows when something is off—even before it makes sense. We’re taught to ignore it. To be ‘reasonable.’ To not assume the worst. But that voice isn’t paranoia. It’s protection. And the more you ignore it, the louder your heartbreak gets.
Trust what doesn’t feel right. Trust the uneasiness you can’t explain. That’s not fear—it’s wisdom whispering before it has to scream. Your body knows before your mind accepts. Don’t wait for proof when your peace is already disturbed.
The Truth Is Simple—But It's Not Always Easy
Most people don’t deceive you. You just didn’t want to believe what you saw. And that’s okay. It means you have a good heart. But it also means you need to guard it—not with walls, but with awareness. Knowing someone’s real intention isn’t about catching lies. It’s about watching who they are when there’s nothing to gain, and nothing to perform. It’s not about becoming cold. It’s about becoming clear.
And clarity, though painful at times, is what saves you from building a life on borrowed promises and empty hope. So if you want to love deeply—and you deserve to—then start by loving wisely. Because the heart is strong. But it shouldn't have to break just to learn the truth.
1. Observe the Silence Between the Words
Flower
“Do not be overly impressed by a person’s sweet words. Find out the truth and only then act.”
You shouldn’t have to beg to be seen. You shouldn’t have to drop hints or test people to make them prove they care. Because people who genuinely care... will show you without being asked. Look at how they act when you’re not directing the script. Do they remember what matters to you? Do they follow through on what they say? Or do they only move when you push? People reveal themselves in the smallest moments—in what they do when you’re not watching, and even more so, when you are, and they still choose not to. The truth doesn’t hide. We just don't always want to look.
2. Don’t Let Admiration Cloud Judgment
Pedestal
( Image credit : Pexels )
“A man is great by deeds, not by birth.”
It’s a dangerous thing to romanticize someone too soon. When you start to imagine what they could be, you stop seeing who they are. Don’t confuse attraction with alignment. Don’t mistake charm for character. You don’t owe anyone the benefit of your doubt when their actions keep showing you exactly who they are. That’s not love.
That’s avoidance. And when you keep someone on a pedestal, all you’re doing is lowering yourself. There’s a difference between seeing someone’s potential and projecting your fantasy onto them. The first is discernment. The second is delusion.
3. Their Reaction to Your Boundaries Says Everything
No
( Image credit : Pexels )
“A person’s character is tested in times of difficulty.”
You want to know someone’s true face? Tell them no. Say no to something they want from you. Your time, your energy, your silence, your body, your approval. Then watch. Really watch. If they respect it—they respect you. If they guilt you, push you, or punish you for it... then they were never here for the real you.
Just for the version of you that served their needs. What you allow teaches others how to treat you. So when you say no, and someone shows you who they are—believe them the first time. Don’t ask for clarity when life just gave it to you.
4. Trust the Voice That Doesn’t Shout
Intuition
( Image credit : Pexels )
“He who is overly suspicious will never find peace, but he who ignores his inner warning will suffer.”
Call it instinct. Call it your gut. Call it God. But there’s a voice inside you that always knows when something is off—even before it makes sense. We’re taught to ignore it. To be ‘reasonable.’ To not assume the worst. But that voice isn’t paranoia. It’s protection. And the more you ignore it, the louder your heartbreak gets.
Trust what doesn’t feel right. Trust the uneasiness you can’t explain. That’s not fear—it’s wisdom whispering before it has to scream. Your body knows before your mind accepts. Don’t wait for proof when your peace is already disturbed.
The Truth Is Simple—But It's Not Always Easy
And clarity, though painful at times, is what saves you from building a life on borrowed promises and empty hope. So if you want to love deeply—and you deserve to—then start by loving wisely. Because the heart is strong. But it shouldn't have to break just to learn the truth.