If They Hurt You Once, They’ll Hurt You Again - The Gita on Why You Shouldn’t Go Back
Riya Kumari | Jun 23, 2025, 23:58 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau, Timeslife )
You know that moment? The one where you're five tequila shots deep, Adele is doing that emotional hostage thing in the background, and your thumb is hovering over your ex’s name like it’s some kind of spiritual button you must press to find inner peace? Yeah. Don’t do it. Even the Bhagavad Gita would side-eye you for that.
We’ve all been there. Standing at the edge of something we know we should walk away from, but still wondering—what if this time it’s different? What if they’ve changed? What if I’ve changed? And yet, if you’re honest with yourself, you know the truth: It already broke you once. Why do you believe going back will fix you now? The Bhagavad Gita doesn’t speak in modern metaphors or relationship labels, but it speaks in a language even your bruised heart understands—when something no longer serves your growth, walking away isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
Love is Not Meant to Hurt Like That
One of the most misunderstood truths is this: just because something felt intense, doesn’t mean it was love. Pain doesn’t always mean depth. Confusion doesn’t always mean complexity. And longing? That’s not always love—it’s often just unprocessed attachment. The Gita speaks clearly on this: Real love is rooted in clarity, not chaos. In alignment, not anxiety.
When you constantly have to shrink, explain, or fix yourself to be loved, that’s not love. That’s survival. And relationships built on survival are always one bad day away from collapse. If it broke you once, ask yourself—what part of you believes it won’t do it again?
The Past Isn’t Home—It’s a Place You Visited to Learn
We often confuse familiarity with safety. But the Gita gently reminds us—you are not this body, not even this story. You are the soul, and the soul is meant to evolve, not revolve in cycles that hurt. So when you’re tempted to go back, stop and ask: Am I going back for love—or for comfort? Am I seeking healing—or just relief from loneliness? Because going back might feel easier in the moment—but ease is not the same as peace.
Peace is quiet. Ease is often temporary numbness. The Gita doesn’t say don’t feel. It says don’t attach. Let your feelings pass through you. Let the story end where it naturally ends. Don’t stretch it into a tragedy just because you’re afraid of a new beginning.
You Deserve Love That Feels Like Ground, Not Earthquake
We glorify the kind of love that consumes us, that “changes us forever,” that “we’ll never forget.” But sometimes, the love that truly changes you is the one that teaches you how to let go. You don’t need to be understood by someone who once made you question your worth. You don’t need to go back to prove you’re over it.
You don’t need to test if they’ve changed. Growth means you have. The Gita says: Act, but do not be attached to the outcome. That includes closure. That includes them finally “getting it.” Sometimes your healing is the only closure you’ll get—and the only one you really need.
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do is Keep Walking
Don’t wait for their apology to release your pain. Don’t wait for their return to validate your worth. The Gita’s wisdom is not sentimental—it’s liberating. It tells you that your peace is already yours. Your purpose is already calling. And the life that’s meant for you won’t require you to go backward to find it.
So when the past knocks—don’t answer with your loneliness. Answer with your clarity. Your stillness. Your truth. Because love that breaks you isn’t love—it’s a lesson. And if you’ve learned it, you don’t have to repeat it. Walk forward. The soul always knows the way.
Love is Not Meant to Hurt Like That
Peace
( Image credit : Pexels )
One of the most misunderstood truths is this: just because something felt intense, doesn’t mean it was love. Pain doesn’t always mean depth. Confusion doesn’t always mean complexity. And longing? That’s not always love—it’s often just unprocessed attachment. The Gita speaks clearly on this: Real love is rooted in clarity, not chaos. In alignment, not anxiety.
When you constantly have to shrink, explain, or fix yourself to be loved, that’s not love. That’s survival. And relationships built on survival are always one bad day away from collapse. If it broke you once, ask yourself—what part of you believes it won’t do it again?
The Past Isn’t Home—It’s a Place You Visited to Learn
Healing
( Image credit : Pexels )
We often confuse familiarity with safety. But the Gita gently reminds us—you are not this body, not even this story. You are the soul, and the soul is meant to evolve, not revolve in cycles that hurt. So when you’re tempted to go back, stop and ask: Am I going back for love—or for comfort? Am I seeking healing—or just relief from loneliness? Because going back might feel easier in the moment—but ease is not the same as peace.
Peace is quiet. Ease is often temporary numbness. The Gita doesn’t say don’t feel. It says don’t attach. Let your feelings pass through you. Let the story end where it naturally ends. Don’t stretch it into a tragedy just because you’re afraid of a new beginning.
You Deserve Love That Feels Like Ground, Not Earthquake
Love
( Image credit : Pexels )
We glorify the kind of love that consumes us, that “changes us forever,” that “we’ll never forget.” But sometimes, the love that truly changes you is the one that teaches you how to let go. You don’t need to be understood by someone who once made you question your worth. You don’t need to go back to prove you’re over it.
You don’t need to test if they’ve changed. Growth means you have. The Gita says: Act, but do not be attached to the outcome. That includes closure. That includes them finally “getting it.” Sometimes your healing is the only closure you’ll get—and the only one you really need.
The Most Loving Thing You Can Do is Keep Walking
Closed door
( Image credit : Pexels )
Don’t wait for their apology to release your pain. Don’t wait for their return to validate your worth. The Gita’s wisdom is not sentimental—it’s liberating. It tells you that your peace is already yours. Your purpose is already calling. And the life that’s meant for you won’t require you to go backward to find it.
So when the past knocks—don’t answer with your loneliness. Answer with your clarity. Your stillness. Your truth. Because love that breaks you isn’t love—it’s a lesson. And if you’ve learned it, you don’t have to repeat it. Walk forward. The soul always knows the way.