Indian Husbands Don’t Want Wives - They Want Mothers 2.0
Riya Kumari | May 21, 2025, 23:59 IST
There’s a special kind of existential dread that creeps in when you're making dal at 10 p.m., and your husband, bless his heart, is snoring through a cricket rerun like he just spent the day hauling bricks—not replying to emails from his gaming chair. You look at him, and somewhere between “Aww” and “Are you kidding me?” it hits you: Indian men don’t really want wives. They want upgraded moms. But sexier. And with fewer opinions.
You walk into your new home with all these dreams. “He’s going to get me. Care about me. My happiness will be his priority, not the last thing on his list.” You imagine late-night talks, weekend trips, love that feels like a romcom—but without the cheesy music. When a woman steps into marriage, she carries hope. That love will be a shared journey, not a solo fight. Then reality hits. You find yourself awake at 2 AM, scrolling, “Is this really love or am I just losing my mind?” Spoiler: the answer’s usually somewhere in between.
1. Helping doesn’t mean he’ll love you more
You help him out, think you’re being kind, loving, supportive—and what does he do? Feels like he’s the king of the world and you’re his personal assistant-slash-maid. The love you give boosts his ego so much that he forgets you’re his equal. So when you finally say, “Hey, I do a lot,” expect a casual, “So what? Who asked?” response. Translation: don’t expect gratitude, because he’s too busy feeling superior.
many men don’t see kindness — they see submission. They begin to believe that love means power, not partnership. Instead of gratitude, they feel entitled. This shift is subtle, but it breaks the foundation of equality. Love turns into control. When you speak up, you may be met with indifference or hostility, as if your efforts were just duties, not choices made from love. This is where many marriages begin to unravel — not from lack of love, but from lack of mutual respect.
2. Don’t do what you don’t want to—love isn’t a chore list
Love isn’t a receipt you have to keep proving. Set your boundaries early: If he leaves clothes on the floor, let him learn from consequence — not your constant picking up. If you don’t want to be the only cook, speak it out. Ask for help, set your terms. This is not selfishness. It is protecting your well-being. You’re not running a charity, you’re building a partnership.
Choosing what you will not do is the first step toward choosing what you will. Love is not proving yourself in a never-ending race to please. It is sharing a life that honors both people’s needs and limits. A marriage built on sacrifice without boundaries is a silent prison.
3. Mothers, raise your sons right. Fathers, lead by example
Sons need to learn that love means effort. Dads, maybe try waking your wife with breakfast in bed once in a while? Watch how quickly “nagging” turns into laughter. Marriage is about fighting to be the 60% partner—because you want to, not because you have to. Swap chores. Share the load. Make her feel like the queen she is.
Mothers and fathers both have a role here. Sons learn what love means from watching their parents. If fathers show respect and effort, sons grow up knowing that love is active, not passive. A man who shares chores without being asked. This is not softness; it is strength. It builds a home where love is real, where partners thrive together.
4. Marriage is a daily choice, not a once-in-a-lifetime event
Plan surprise dates. Ask her what’s really bothering her. She’s doing way more than you think—running the home, the kids, the family. So don’t think you’re a king because she’s “serving” you. Think you’re a king because you married a queen—and queens don’t settle for less.
Marriage demands attention, care, and effort every single day. These little things are the quiet acts that keep love alive. Real kings build kingdoms with queens. They know respect and love are earned every day, not demanded by tradition or power.
The challenge before us is clear:
Love shouldn’t feel like a burden or a one-way street. Set your boundaries, keep your standards, and demand respect. Because at the end of the day, a happy wife isn’t a joke — it’s the real-life magic every marriage needs. We must stop expecting women to become mothers again when they marry. They deserve to be seen, heard, and loved as equals. Men must learn that love is not ownership. And society must value partnership over hierarchy. If we do not change this, the cycle continues — hope turns into loneliness, love into burden, marriage into silent suffering. But if we do, then marriage can become what it was meant to be: a shared home, a shared life, a shared joy.
1. Helping doesn’t mean he’ll love you more
Cleaning
( Image credit : Pexels )
You help him out, think you’re being kind, loving, supportive—and what does he do? Feels like he’s the king of the world and you’re his personal assistant-slash-maid. The love you give boosts his ego so much that he forgets you’re his equal. So when you finally say, “Hey, I do a lot,” expect a casual, “So what? Who asked?” response. Translation: don’t expect gratitude, because he’s too busy feeling superior.
many men don’t see kindness — they see submission. They begin to believe that love means power, not partnership. Instead of gratitude, they feel entitled. This shift is subtle, but it breaks the foundation of equality. Love turns into control. When you speak up, you may be met with indifference or hostility, as if your efforts were just duties, not choices made from love. This is where many marriages begin to unravel — not from lack of love, but from lack of mutual respect.
2. Don’t do what you don’t want to—love isn’t a chore list
Personal cook
( Image credit : Pexels )
Love isn’t a receipt you have to keep proving. Set your boundaries early: If he leaves clothes on the floor, let him learn from consequence — not your constant picking up. If you don’t want to be the only cook, speak it out. Ask for help, set your terms. This is not selfishness. It is protecting your well-being. You’re not running a charity, you’re building a partnership.
Choosing what you will not do is the first step toward choosing what you will. Love is not proving yourself in a never-ending race to please. It is sharing a life that honors both people’s needs and limits. A marriage built on sacrifice without boundaries is a silent prison.
3. Mothers, raise your sons right. Fathers, lead by example
Breakfast in bed
( Image credit : Pexels )
Sons need to learn that love means effort. Dads, maybe try waking your wife with breakfast in bed once in a while? Watch how quickly “nagging” turns into laughter. Marriage is about fighting to be the 60% partner—because you want to, not because you have to. Swap chores. Share the load. Make her feel like the queen she is.
Mothers and fathers both have a role here. Sons learn what love means from watching their parents. If fathers show respect and effort, sons grow up knowing that love is active, not passive. A man who shares chores without being asked. This is not softness; it is strength. It builds a home where love is real, where partners thrive together.
4. Marriage is a daily choice, not a once-in-a-lifetime event
Surprise date
( Image credit : Pexels )
Plan surprise dates. Ask her what’s really bothering her. She’s doing way more than you think—running the home, the kids, the family. So don’t think you’re a king because she’s “serving” you. Think you’re a king because you married a queen—and queens don’t settle for less.
Marriage demands attention, care, and effort every single day. These little things are the quiet acts that keep love alive. Real kings build kingdoms with queens. They know respect and love are earned every day, not demanded by tradition or power.