Is Pseudo-Feminism Destroying Love and Marriage in India?
Riya Kumari | Mar 24, 2025, 15:30 IST
( Image credit : Times Life Bureau )
Let’s be real—modern love is exhausting. Once upon a time, romance was about handwritten letters, late-night walks, and figuring out how to impress your crush without looking like a total fool. Now? Now it's a TED Talk on gender politics before you even get to dessert. And don't get me wrong, feminism is awesome. The real kind—the one that fought for women's rights, for equal pay, for the right to not be treated like an accessory to a man’s life. But then came its annoying cousin: pseudo-feminism.
Love was never meant to be a war. But somehow, in the pursuit of justice, we’ve turned it into one. The feminist movement was about fairness. It was about giving women choices, dignity, and independence. It fought battles that needed to be fought. But somewhere along the way, in the echo chambers of social media and pop culture, something got lost. A new version emerged—one that isn’t about equality, but about superiority. One that doesn’t aim to fix problems but to flip the power dynamic in the opposite direction. And the casualty? Love itself.
1. When Men Become Enemies, and Women Become Victims
A relationship used to be two people trying to understand each other. Today, it often feels like a court case, where men stand trial simply for existing, and women are encouraged to see themselves as perpetual victims. If he pays the bill, he’s asserting dominance. If he doesn’t, he lacks chivalry. If he wants to lead, he’s controlling. If he wants an equal partnership, he’s not man enough. The messaging is clear: men, by default, are the problem. And women? They are told that love, marriage, and family are traps designed to oppress them.
But here’s the truth—marriage was never the enemy. The way it was historically structured? Maybe. The way society handled gender roles? Sure. But companionship itself? The idea of two people standing by each other, building a life together, creating something bigger than themselves? That was never the problem. And yet, in this pseudo-feminist narrative, love has been reduced to a power struggle. It’s not about connection anymore. It’s about winning. And when winning becomes the goal, both sides lose.
2. How Pseudo-Feminism Kills Love
Love cannot survive when trust is replaced with suspicion. If every kind act is interpreted as manipulation, and every flaw is framed as proof of systemic oppression, then relationships stop being human. They become ideological battlegrounds where both partners are too busy defending themselves to actually love each other.
The result? A generation that is increasingly lonely. Women who reject love because they fear dependency, and men who withdraw because they fear judgment. People who crave intimacy but have been taught that needing someone is weakness. Ironically, in rejecting love, we are not becoming stronger. We are becoming isolated. And isolation is not power. It is just loneliness dressed up as independence.
3. The Real Feminism We Need
Real feminism does not teach women to hate men. It does not teach them to fear love. It does not tell them that marriage is oppression while simultaneously expecting men to protect, provide, and nurture. Real feminism teaches balance. It understands that love, at its core, is about two people choosing each other—not as oppressor and oppressed, not as adversaries in a war, but as partners.
Real feminism does not reject the idea of mutual care. It does not shame women for choosing love, nor does it shame men for wanting to lead, protect, or provide. Love is not weakness. Dependence—when it is mutual—is not a flaw. Wanting stability, commitment, and partnership does not make a woman regressive or a man oppressive. It makes them human.
4. Love Was Never the Enemy
We need to ask ourselves: when did we stop believing in love? When did we start treating companionship as a problem rather than a privilege? Love was never meant to be a fight for dominance. It was meant to be a surrender—of ego, of fear, of selfishness. A surrender that is not forced but freely given, because in the right relationship, giving is not losing. It is gaining something far greater.
If feminism is truly about choice, then let’s allow women to choose love without shame. And let’s allow men to exist without guilt. Because in the end, it is not feminism that is destroying love. It is our refusal to see love for what it truly is—a space not of war, but of peace.
1. When Men Become Enemies, and Women Become Victims
Fight
( Image credit : Pexels )
A relationship used to be two people trying to understand each other. Today, it often feels like a court case, where men stand trial simply for existing, and women are encouraged to see themselves as perpetual victims. If he pays the bill, he’s asserting dominance. If he doesn’t, he lacks chivalry. If he wants to lead, he’s controlling. If he wants an equal partnership, he’s not man enough. The messaging is clear: men, by default, are the problem. And women? They are told that love, marriage, and family are traps designed to oppress them.
But here’s the truth—marriage was never the enemy. The way it was historically structured? Maybe. The way society handled gender roles? Sure. But companionship itself? The idea of two people standing by each other, building a life together, creating something bigger than themselves? That was never the problem. And yet, in this pseudo-feminist narrative, love has been reduced to a power struggle. It’s not about connection anymore. It’s about winning. And when winning becomes the goal, both sides lose.
2. How Pseudo-Feminism Kills Love
Hug
( Image credit : Pexels )
Love cannot survive when trust is replaced with suspicion. If every kind act is interpreted as manipulation, and every flaw is framed as proof of systemic oppression, then relationships stop being human. They become ideological battlegrounds where both partners are too busy defending themselves to actually love each other.
The result? A generation that is increasingly lonely. Women who reject love because they fear dependency, and men who withdraw because they fear judgment. People who crave intimacy but have been taught that needing someone is weakness. Ironically, in rejecting love, we are not becoming stronger. We are becoming isolated. And isolation is not power. It is just loneliness dressed up as independence.
3. The Real Feminism We Need
Love
( Image credit : Pexels )
Real feminism does not teach women to hate men. It does not teach them to fear love. It does not tell them that marriage is oppression while simultaneously expecting men to protect, provide, and nurture. Real feminism teaches balance. It understands that love, at its core, is about two people choosing each other—not as oppressor and oppressed, not as adversaries in a war, but as partners.
Real feminism does not reject the idea of mutual care. It does not shame women for choosing love, nor does it shame men for wanting to lead, protect, or provide. Love is not weakness. Dependence—when it is mutual—is not a flaw. Wanting stability, commitment, and partnership does not make a woman regressive or a man oppressive. It makes them human.
4. Love Was Never the Enemy
Indian marriage
( Image credit : Pexels )
We need to ask ourselves: when did we stop believing in love? When did we start treating companionship as a problem rather than a privilege? Love was never meant to be a fight for dominance. It was meant to be a surrender—of ego, of fear, of selfishness. A surrender that is not forced but freely given, because in the right relationship, giving is not losing. It is gaining something far greater.
If feminism is truly about choice, then let’s allow women to choose love without shame. And let’s allow men to exist without guilt. Because in the end, it is not feminism that is destroying love. It is our refusal to see love for what it truly is—a space not of war, but of peace.