Living Apart Together (LAT) Relationships in India: Separate Homes, Stronger Bonds?
Riya Kumari | Jan 22, 2025, 11:40 IST
Picture this: You're at brunch with your girls—one of them is gushing about her new relationship. “He’s perfect,” she says between bites of overpriced avocado toast. “But we’re not moving in together.” Cue the record scratch. Everyone stares like she’s just announced she’s switching to decaf. Welcome to the Living Apart Together (LAT) trend, where couples are throwing out the playbook and rewriting their own rules. Think of it as the “I love you, but I also really love my own Netflix account” school of romance.
Living together often turns love into a logistical nightmare. And let’s not even talk about sharing a bathroom. The horror. Living Apart Together (LAT) lets you keep the magic alive without all the mundane mess. You can visit each other’s apartments, feel all cute and couple-y, and then leave when the other person’s Netflix recommendations start looking like a horror show
1. When Sharing is Overrated
Let’s be real: moving in with someone sounds romantic in theory. You imagine cozy movie nights, breakfast in bed, and candlelit dinners on the balcony. But then reality kicks in. The cozy movie night? Hijacked by their love of that one cringe-worthy series you can’t stand. Breakfast in bed? Just crumbs everywhere. And that candlelit dinner? Postponed because someone forgot to buy milk. LAT couples are skipping all the drama. They get to enjoy their relationship and keep making breakfast together on lazy Sundays, and occasionally binge-watching shows in matching pajamas.
2. The Appeal of Personal Space (a.k.a. Sanity)
If you’ve ever lived with someone—romantic partner, roommate, or that one friend who “forgets” to pay rent—you know cohabitation isn’t all cuddles and Pinterest-worthy throw pillows. It’s toothpaste caps left off, mysterious wet socks on the bathroom floor, and fights about whose turn it is to clean the drain. LAT relationships? They say, “Let’s skip the passive-aggressive sticky notes and just...not live together.” In urban India, where apartments are small and rent prices make your wallet cry, LAT feels like a survival strategy masquerading as a relationship trend. Couples get the best of both worlds: intimacy and autonomy. A partner who’s a call away but not stealing your last bite of biryani? Yes, please.
3. Culture Shock, but Make It Fun
Now, you might think LAT is as foreign to India as snow in Chennai, but surprise! Millennials and Gen Z are running a cultural remix. While their parents were all about “log kya kahenge” (what will people say), this generation has flipped the script to “log kuch toh kahenge” (people will always say something). The auntie brigade might side-eye this arrangement, but honestly, they’re still recovering from the shock of couples splitting the bill on dates. LAT is just another step on the “We’ll do relationships our way, thanks” ladder.
4. Love, But Make It Low-Key
Here’s the thing: LAT isn’t about running away from commitment. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s about doing what works for you. Think about it—when you’re not living together, you have the luxury of getting to miss the other person. You’re allowed to be your own person, with your own hobbies, Netflix account, and personal space. So, when you do come together, it’s because you genuinely want to, not because you’re stuck in the same space with no escape route. And let’s be real for a second: we’ve all been in relationships where we’ve needed a bit of breathing room. That doesn’t mean you don’t love the other person. It just means you really love not having to share your favorite pillow. Or your perfectly arranged bookshelf.
5. Commitment Without Clutter
Here’s the twist: LAT isn’t about fear of commitment. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s about committing to a relationship that works for you. These couples aren’t dodging tradition—they’re optimizing it. Does cohabitation spark joy? No? Toss it. And let’s be real, LAT relationships are kind of romantic. They’re built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. When you’re not arguing over whose turn it is to fold the laundry, you can actually focus on, you know, loving each other.
6. The New “Normal”?
So, why are LAT relationships becoming more common in urban India? Maybe it’s because we’re realizing that love doesn’t have to look like the fairytales our parents told us. Maybe we’re finally accepting that it’s okay for two people to stay in different homes and still be crazy about each other. Maybe we’re just tired of the daily grind, and the last thing we need is a house full of clutter, arguments, and people constantly asking, “Who’s turn is it to buy the groceries?” LAT is, at its core, about creating a relationship that works for you and your partner—no judgments, no expectations. It’s love in the 21st century: modern, flexible, and all about doing things your way.
The Future of Love
So, where is this trend going? Honestly, who knows? Maybe LAT will be the new normal. Maybe it’s a pit stop on the way to something even more untraditional. Or maybe it’s just a reminder that love doesn’t come with a one-size-fits-all manual. What we do know is this: LAT relationships are thriving because they’re bold, flexible, and deeply human. They’re proof that love can be whatever we make it—messy, beautiful, and, above all, ours. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an apartment to tidy. Alone. And honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
1. When Sharing is Overrated
Snoring
Let’s be real: moving in with someone sounds romantic in theory. You imagine cozy movie nights, breakfast in bed, and candlelit dinners on the balcony. But then reality kicks in. The cozy movie night? Hijacked by their love of that one cringe-worthy series you can’t stand. Breakfast in bed? Just crumbs everywhere. And that candlelit dinner? Postponed because someone forgot to buy milk. LAT couples are skipping all the drama. They get to enjoy their relationship and keep making breakfast together on lazy Sundays, and occasionally binge-watching shows in matching pajamas.
2. The Appeal of Personal Space (a.k.a. Sanity)
Couple cleaning
If you’ve ever lived with someone—romantic partner, roommate, or that one friend who “forgets” to pay rent—you know cohabitation isn’t all cuddles and Pinterest-worthy throw pillows. It’s toothpaste caps left off, mysterious wet socks on the bathroom floor, and fights about whose turn it is to clean the drain. LAT relationships? They say, “Let’s skip the passive-aggressive sticky notes and just...not live together.” In urban India, where apartments are small and rent prices make your wallet cry, LAT feels like a survival strategy masquerading as a relationship trend. Couples get the best of both worlds: intimacy and autonomy. A partner who’s a call away but not stealing your last bite of biryani? Yes, please.
3. Culture Shock, but Make It Fun
Rules
Now, you might think LAT is as foreign to India as snow in Chennai, but surprise! Millennials and Gen Z are running a cultural remix. While their parents were all about “log kya kahenge” (what will people say), this generation has flipped the script to “log kuch toh kahenge” (people will always say something). The auntie brigade might side-eye this arrangement, but honestly, they’re still recovering from the shock of couples splitting the bill on dates. LAT is just another step on the “We’ll do relationships our way, thanks” ladder.
4. Love, But Make It Low-Key
Neighbour
Here’s the thing: LAT isn’t about running away from commitment. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s about doing what works for you. Think about it—when you’re not living together, you have the luxury of getting to miss the other person. You’re allowed to be your own person, with your own hobbies, Netflix account, and personal space. So, when you do come together, it’s because you genuinely want to, not because you’re stuck in the same space with no escape route. And let’s be real for a second: we’ve all been in relationships where we’ve needed a bit of breathing room. That doesn’t mean you don’t love the other person. It just means you really love not having to share your favorite pillow. Or your perfectly arranged bookshelf.
5. Commitment Without Clutter
Neighbor Couple
Here’s the twist: LAT isn’t about fear of commitment. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s about committing to a relationship that works for you. These couples aren’t dodging tradition—they’re optimizing it. Does cohabitation spark joy? No? Toss it. And let’s be real, LAT relationships are kind of romantic. They’re built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. When you’re not arguing over whose turn it is to fold the laundry, you can actually focus on, you know, loving each other.
6. The New “Normal”?
Surprise
So, why are LAT relationships becoming more common in urban India? Maybe it’s because we’re realizing that love doesn’t have to look like the fairytales our parents told us. Maybe we’re finally accepting that it’s okay for two people to stay in different homes and still be crazy about each other. Maybe we’re just tired of the daily grind, and the last thing we need is a house full of clutter, arguments, and people constantly asking, “Who’s turn is it to buy the groceries?” LAT is, at its core, about creating a relationship that works for you and your partner—no judgments, no expectations. It’s love in the 21st century: modern, flexible, and all about doing things your way.