Low-Effort Indian Men Benefit from Hookup Culture, Because Women Keep Saying Yes
Riya Kumari | Jun 11, 2025, 17:43 IST
( Image credit : Freepik, Timeslife )
There’s a certain breed of man who shows up to the dating pool like he accidentally wandered in while looking for the WiFi. No plan. No emotional depth. Just vibes, one-word replies, and a playlist of The Weeknd songs he thinks counts as personality. And somehow—somehow—he gets the girl. Or at least, enough of her time, energy, and emotional labor to make it feel like he did.
Let’s just call it: Lazy men are thriving. Not because they’re smart, hot, or even remotely interesting—but because enough women keep rewarding crumbs like they’re cake. He shows up with zero intention, zero effort, and zero clue—and still walks away with your time, energy, body, and emotional labor. And the worst part? He thinks he’s winning. Because he kinda is.
These Men Aren’t Broken. They’re Just Bored.
He’s not “bad at texting.” He’s just not that into trying.
He’s not “scared of commitment.” He’s just enjoying girlfriend benefits without the boyfriend effort.
He’s not “emotionally unavailable.” He’s just emotionally uninterested in you.
We romanticize these men like they’re deep, tortured souls when really—they’re just lazy. He’s not in a dark spiral. He’s just in bed scrolling Instagram while you type out a paragraph he won’t read.
Remember when men used to try? Like, actually try? Plan dates? Call you? Show up with energy that said “I know you’re worth it”? Yeah. That era ghosted us harder than he did. Now? They soft-launch intentions, breadcrumb affection, and send a “u up?” like it’s a love letter. You’re out here constructing emotionally nuanced replies and he’s sending GIFs. And still—he gets access to your time, your bed, your brain space. He shows up with no resume, no references, no emotional skillset, and somehow walks away with your attention like it’s free merchandise.
The Real Plot Twist? We’re the Enablers
Yep. We ghost ourselves before he has to. We say yes to dates that feel like interviews. We excuse dry texting, dodged questions, and him “not being ready” like it's a respectable personality trait. And somewhere between “maybe he’s tired” and “at least he replied,” we forget that dating is supposed to feel good. Not like a part-time job in emotional babysitting.
Here's where it stings: He didn’t force his way into your life. You opened the door. You let him orbit. You excused the delay. You told yourself, “He’s just bad at texting” when really, he’s just not good at caring. And I get it. You wanted to be cool. Chill. Unbothered. The girl who doesn’t nag, doesn’t ask for too much, doesn’t scare him away. But girl. You’re not scaring him. You’re spoiling him. You’re treating a man who sent you three-word replies as if he’s writing sonnets under the moonlight. He’s not mysterious. He’s just...barely interested.
You’re Not His Therapist, Muse or Mother
You can’t fix a man who doesn’t think he’s broken. You can’t inspire effort in someone who benefits from your exhaustion. And you’re not supposed to earn love by proving you’re the “cool girl” who asks for nothing. Because spoiler: the less you ask for, the less you’ll get.
You reply fast. You forgive faster. You overanalyze his one dry “sup” like it’s Shakespeare. You plan dates he never confirms. And for what? For the hope that maybe this time he’ll rise to the occasion? He won’t. Because you already showed him he doesn’t have to. Every time you say yes to crumbs, you make it easier for the next girl to be served even less. The bar doesn’t just stay low—it sinks. And these men? They limbo under it, one shrug at a time.
Let’s Raise the Bar Already
Stop clapping for the bare minimum. Stop giving your best to men who treat you like a placeholder. Stop shrinking so he can feel tall. You want connection, not confusion. Attention, not breadcrumbs. And if that makes you “too much,” let it. Better to be too much for a man who gives too little than to be just enough for a man who never deserved you. Start saying no. To half-love. Half-effort. Half-presence. Start asking real questions:
“Why am I trying so hard to convince him I’m worth it?”
“Would I be friends with someone who treated me like this?”
“Do I even like him, or do I just want to be chosen?”
Take off the rose-colored glasses. Look at the receipts. He’s not putting in effort because he doesn’t have to. And you're not hard to love—he’s just not the guy who can do it.
You’re Not Asking for Too Much. You’re Just Done Settling.
Start saying no to men who can’t show up. Stop mistaking effortlessness for chemistry. And never again call someone a “potential” when all he’s doing is coasting. Effort is hot. Energy is sexy. Emotional literacy is the new six-pack. Raise your standards—and watch the lazy boys panic.
These Men Aren’t Broken. They’re Just Bored.
Date
( Image credit : Pexels )
He’s not “bad at texting.” He’s just not that into trying.
He’s not “scared of commitment.” He’s just enjoying girlfriend benefits without the boyfriend effort.
He’s not “emotionally unavailable.” He’s just emotionally uninterested in you.
We romanticize these men like they’re deep, tortured souls when really—they’re just lazy. He’s not in a dark spiral. He’s just in bed scrolling Instagram while you type out a paragraph he won’t read.
Remember when men used to try? Like, actually try? Plan dates? Call you? Show up with energy that said “I know you’re worth it”? Yeah. That era ghosted us harder than he did. Now? They soft-launch intentions, breadcrumb affection, and send a “u up?” like it’s a love letter. You’re out here constructing emotionally nuanced replies and he’s sending GIFs. And still—he gets access to your time, your bed, your brain space. He shows up with no resume, no references, no emotional skillset, and somehow walks away with your attention like it’s free merchandise.
The Real Plot Twist? We’re the Enablers
Yes
( Image credit : Pexels )
Yep. We ghost ourselves before he has to. We say yes to dates that feel like interviews. We excuse dry texting, dodged questions, and him “not being ready” like it's a respectable personality trait. And somewhere between “maybe he’s tired” and “at least he replied,” we forget that dating is supposed to feel good. Not like a part-time job in emotional babysitting.
Here's where it stings: He didn’t force his way into your life. You opened the door. You let him orbit. You excused the delay. You told yourself, “He’s just bad at texting” when really, he’s just not good at caring. And I get it. You wanted to be cool. Chill. Unbothered. The girl who doesn’t nag, doesn’t ask for too much, doesn’t scare him away. But girl. You’re not scaring him. You’re spoiling him. You’re treating a man who sent you three-word replies as if he’s writing sonnets under the moonlight. He’s not mysterious. He’s just...barely interested.
You’re Not His Therapist, Muse or Mother
Cook
( Image credit : Pexels )
You can’t fix a man who doesn’t think he’s broken. You can’t inspire effort in someone who benefits from your exhaustion. And you’re not supposed to earn love by proving you’re the “cool girl” who asks for nothing. Because spoiler: the less you ask for, the less you’ll get.
You reply fast. You forgive faster. You overanalyze his one dry “sup” like it’s Shakespeare. You plan dates he never confirms. And for what? For the hope that maybe this time he’ll rise to the occasion? He won’t. Because you already showed him he doesn’t have to. Every time you say yes to crumbs, you make it easier for the next girl to be served even less. The bar doesn’t just stay low—it sinks. And these men? They limbo under it, one shrug at a time.
Let’s Raise the Bar Already
Princess
( Image credit : Pexels )
Stop clapping for the bare minimum. Stop giving your best to men who treat you like a placeholder. Stop shrinking so he can feel tall. You want connection, not confusion. Attention, not breadcrumbs. And if that makes you “too much,” let it. Better to be too much for a man who gives too little than to be just enough for a man who never deserved you. Start saying no. To half-love. Half-effort. Half-presence. Start asking real questions:
“Why am I trying so hard to convince him I’m worth it?”
“Would I be friends with someone who treated me like this?”
“Do I even like him, or do I just want to be chosen?”
Take off the rose-colored glasses. Look at the receipts. He’s not putting in effort because he doesn’t have to. And you're not hard to love—he’s just not the guy who can do it.