What is ‘Mankeeping’- Reasons Women Question Relationship Choices

If you have not heard of the term "Mankeeping" yet, now is the time to add it to your dictionary. The term was first coined by Stanford psychologist Angelica Ferrara in her study titled, "Theorising Mankeeping: The Male Friendship Recession and Women’s Associated Labour as a Structural Component of Gender Inequality" to describe the invisible emotional and social labour that women do to manage the lives of men without charging any money. Menskeeping is seen in heterosexual relationships, families or even in the workplace. The term is gaining popularity on social media, where women are sharing their experiences about their invisible labour. So the question is why are women questioning relationship choices and what is really mankeeping?


Mankeeping is invisiblelabour because it starts from women's emotional and mental duties to keep their partners comfortable by acting as a caretaker, manager and emotional anchor in a relationship. For example, it may be a work of reminding one's male partner to wish his friend a birthday wish or a sister encouraging his brother to talk about his breakup or acting as an informal therapist.

Ferrara further argues in her paper that many straight men have limited emotional networks which is why they rely on women for their emotional support. According to her, this creates an imbalance of emotion on female's shoulder because they not only balances their own emotional well being but also emotions of the men around them as well.


It seems on the internet that after this term, invisible labour, women are recognising things like which prior used to be 'Just being caring' are now considered a form of unpaid emotional work. Angelica Ferrara's work is now considered an awareness campaign that empowers women to say "NO."

Social media and internet articles are highlighting that "It's not selfish to set boundaries, it's survival."


Pew Research data shows that only 38% of single women are looking for love compared to 61% of men. Some argue that one of the big reasons is, women are tired of being personal therapists with benefits.According to another shocking data from the AEI Survey Centre on American Life, it shows that men today have fewer close friends than ever. In 1990s, 55% of men said that they had at least six close friends in USA and Australia. Today the number has just dropped to 27%.

Ferrara said in the New York Post that this is not jsut a men's problem; it's a burden women are quietly carrying. And increasingly they are choosing not to carry it anymore.

Just like men need women for their emotional support, women also needs men for other essential support. This is how nature works supporting each other. True relationship or intimacy thrives only when care is mutual from both sides and balanced ofcourse.

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