Marriage Is Failing in India, But It’s Not Because of Women
Riya Kumari | Jun 06, 2025, 16:28 IST
( Image credit : Freepik )
Highlight of the story: Let’s talk about the M word. Not money—that’s still a little too taboo for dinner conversations. No, I mean marriage. That shiny promise wrapped in Kanjeevaram silk and gajar ka halwa, served with side helpings of societal pressure, Bollywood expectations, and the persistent auntie asking, “Beta, when will you settle down?” Except here’s the plot twist no one saw coming: Marriage is kind of… flopping. Like, full-on faceplanting. And everyone’s looking at women like, “How could you?” As if we’re walking around like emotional wrecking balls in lipstick and aspirations.
There are women cooking on the day of their delivery. There are women carrying the weight of a family while bleeding, crying in silence, and still showing up for everything. And then there are men... who think “providing” is enough. Who think it’s a woman’s job to hold the roof together while they come home late and call her a nag when she asks for basic effort. This isn’t a marriage. It’s a woman becoming the man just so the relationship doesn’t fall apart.
Marriage isn’t 50-50 when one person is doing 100
Most men are not equipped to keep a woman happy—not because they don’t love her, but because they don’t see her. They think cooking, cleaning, childbearing, and emotional nurturing are automatic apps that run in the background. They don’t see her making food while on the verge of giving birth. They don’t understand what it takes to bleed every month and still show up for life. And if roles were reversed? PMS would be a national emergency, and childbirth would probably be banned. But instead of care, she gets comments like, “You’ve let yourself go.” She didn’t let herself go. She let herself give. And no one ever gave back. They’re expected to “adjust” — and if they don’t look perfect while doing it, they’re blamed. Or worse, cheated on.
A ‘nagging’ wife is usually a woman unheard for too long
“She nags.” Okay, but why does she nag? Because he won’t come home on time. Because he leaves all responsibilities to her. Because a grown man forgets to be a partner. And when she finally speaks up, he raises his voice. Maybe his hand. Because nothing threatens a weak man more than a woman who knows he’s not doing enough. Let this be clear: A silent wife isn’t a happy wife. She’s a woman who’s stopped hoping. She’ll leave one day. And you won’t even see it coming — because when women go quiet, it’s not peace. It’s preparation.
A ‘strong woman’ is often just a tired woman
You keep praising her strength — but you gave her no option. She became strong because she was forced to survive. Because she couldn’t lean on you. Because you didn’t show up. And now you can’t handle her strength because it reminds you of your own lack. Let this sink in: If you feel the need to compete with your wife, your ego is not confidence — it’s proof you’ve achieved nothing worth being proud of. Your failure shouldn’t become her punishment. Your insecurity shouldn’t become her burden. Your laziness shouldn’t become her entire life.
Her love language? Not having to ask.
How hard is it to cook for her on a Sunday? To take her out so she can feel pretty and take a few photos? To let her feel safe enough to rest, not hustle? Let her book her nail appointment. Let her wear her cute dress. Let her enjoy her femininity without asking “Who are you trying to impress?” Half the fun of being a woman is in the little things that make her feel soft. And she can't enjoy any of it if you make her feel like she has to earn basic joy. And let’s be honest — a man who cheats on his wife just to feel validated because he has self-worth issues... is not a man. He’s a liability.
If you want her to love you, see her. Really see her.
Your job is not to silence her. It’s to protect her peace. Not to question her dreams. It’s to fuel them. Not to mock her softness. It’s to be the reason she feels safe enough to show it. Do the little things. Surprise her. Appreciate her. Speak with kindness. Listen when she’s not okay. Make her feel loved — not because she begged for it, but because you see her. She shouldn't have to carry both of you. She shouldn't have to become the man in her own marriage. Apologize without being asked. Surprise her with something small that shows you see her. Let her take off the armor she’s worn for far too long.
Final Thoughts
If she’s hardened, it’s because she had to be. If she’s distant, it’s because she’s exhausted. And if you’re still blaming her while giving her nothing — then maybe you’re the reason she no longer smiles the way she used to. Be a man. Not the reason she had to become one. If your wife has become hard, ask what made her that way. If she doesn’t ask for help anymore, ask how many times she had to before she stopped. Don’t wait for her to break. Choose to carry what she no longer should have to.
Marriage isn’t 50-50 when one person is doing 100
Cooking
( Image credit : Pexels )
Most men are not equipped to keep a woman happy—not because they don’t love her, but because they don’t see her. They think cooking, cleaning, childbearing, and emotional nurturing are automatic apps that run in the background. They don’t see her making food while on the verge of giving birth. They don’t understand what it takes to bleed every month and still show up for life. And if roles were reversed? PMS would be a national emergency, and childbirth would probably be banned. But instead of care, she gets comments like, “You’ve let yourself go.” She didn’t let herself go. She let herself give. And no one ever gave back. They’re expected to “adjust” — and if they don’t look perfect while doing it, they’re blamed. Or worse, cheated on.
A ‘nagging’ wife is usually a woman unheard for too long
Cleaning
( Image credit : Pexels )
“She nags.” Okay, but why does she nag? Because he won’t come home on time. Because he leaves all responsibilities to her. Because a grown man forgets to be a partner. And when she finally speaks up, he raises his voice. Maybe his hand. Because nothing threatens a weak man more than a woman who knows he’s not doing enough. Let this be clear: A silent wife isn’t a happy wife. She’s a woman who’s stopped hoping. She’ll leave one day. And you won’t even see it coming — because when women go quiet, it’s not peace. It’s preparation.
A ‘strong woman’ is often just a tired woman
Grocery shopping
( Image credit : Pexels )
You keep praising her strength — but you gave her no option. She became strong because she was forced to survive. Because she couldn’t lean on you. Because you didn’t show up. And now you can’t handle her strength because it reminds you of your own lack. Let this sink in: If you feel the need to compete with your wife, your ego is not confidence — it’s proof you’ve achieved nothing worth being proud of. Your failure shouldn’t become her punishment. Your insecurity shouldn’t become her burden. Your laziness shouldn’t become her entire life.
Her love language? Not having to ask.
Spa
( Image credit : Pexels )
How hard is it to cook for her on a Sunday? To take her out so she can feel pretty and take a few photos? To let her feel safe enough to rest, not hustle? Let her book her nail appointment. Let her wear her cute dress. Let her enjoy her femininity without asking “Who are you trying to impress?” Half the fun of being a woman is in the little things that make her feel soft. And she can't enjoy any of it if you make her feel like she has to earn basic joy. And let’s be honest — a man who cheats on his wife just to feel validated because he has self-worth issues... is not a man. He’s a liability.
If you want her to love you, see her. Really see her.
Mother and Child
( Image credit : Pexels )
Your job is not to silence her. It’s to protect her peace. Not to question her dreams. It’s to fuel them. Not to mock her softness. It’s to be the reason she feels safe enough to show it. Do the little things. Surprise her. Appreciate her. Speak with kindness. Listen when she’s not okay. Make her feel loved — not because she begged for it, but because you see her. She shouldn't have to carry both of you. She shouldn't have to become the man in her own marriage. Apologize without being asked. Surprise her with something small that shows you see her. Let her take off the armor she’s worn for far too long.