Marriage Takes Work: 7 Gita Lessons to Bring Back the Love in Your Marriage

Marriage isn’t some grand, movie-perfect fairytale, nor is it a picture-perfect Instagram post. It’s an ongoing process, a commitment that requires patience, understanding, and a deep sense of shared purpose. The truth? It takes work. But not just any work—the kind of work that shifts the lens through which we view each other, one that requires us to dig deeper into the way we love, communicate, and grow together.

The Bhagavad Gita, a timeless guide for living, offers wisdom that transcends the conventional. It doesn’t just explain the mechanics of life; it shows us how to truly navigate the complexities of our relationships. And while it doesn’t specifically address modern marriages, the underlying principles of duty, devotion, and self-awareness offer a map to navigate any challenge that may come our way in the realm of love. So, if you're looking to breathe fresh air into your marriage, these Gita lessons may be exactly what you need.

In the hustle of everyday life, it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of “I’ll do this, if you do that.” The Gita teaches us that true karma—our actions and their consequences—goes beyond transactions. It’s about serving without expecting something in return. In marriage, this translates to loving, supporting, and giving without needing a ‘thank you’ or a “you owe me one.” When we stop holding our partner’s love to a standard of reciprocity, we free ourselves from the weight of expectations.
This doesn’t mean you should sacrifice your needs for the sake of it, but rather, create an environment where the small acts of care become natural. When you embrace this attitude, you invite a sense of peace into your relationship. It’s not about scorekeeping; it’s about genuinely showing up, day after day.

Detachment is often misunderstood. In the Gita, detachment isn’t about walking away, shutting down, or playing emotional hide-and-seek. It’s about letting go of the need for control over every outcome and learning how to love without clinging. In marriage, this means allowing your partner to grow, evolve, and sometimes, even make mistakes. It’s easy to fall into the trap of holding on too tightly—fearing that every misstep will be the end of the road.
But detachment, in this sense, is freedom: freedom to be yourself, freedom for your partner to be themselves, and freedom to weather the storm together without suffocating the relationship. It’s about stepping back and understanding that you don’t need to fix everything. Instead, you learn to coexist, giving each other the room to breathe while remaining deeply connected.

Duty in marriage isn’t a chore—it’s a choice. The Gita teaches us that duty (or dharma) is aligned with our true purpose, and fulfilling it brings us deeper satisfaction. Marriage is a commitment to a shared life, and with that comes a responsibility to care, support, and grow together. But this isn’t about sacrificing everything for the other person. It’s about showing up in meaningful ways, even when it feels inconvenient, even when you’re tired, even when you’d rather be doing something else.
The question is: do you understand what your role is in your marriage? Are you living it consciously? True devotion to each other comes from recognizing that your spouse’s happiness and well-being are as important as your own. When you both recognize this, the weight of responsibility becomes a shared, unspoken bond that holds the relationship together.

If there’s one thing that the Gita teaches us, it’s this: perfection is a mirage. Expecting a marriage to be flawless—free of disagreements, misunderstandings, or discomfort—is setting yourself up for frustration. Instead, focus on progress. Relationships are about growth—personal, mutual, and shared growth. It’s in those small moments of compromise, understanding, and learning where the real strength of a marriage lies.
In practice, this means accepting that your partner won’t always meet your expectations, just as you won’t always meet theirs. But if you’re both committed to progress, to becoming better versions of yourselves together, then your relationship has the potential to deepen, even through challenges.

Each of us has a purpose. The Gita urges us to understand and follow our true calling in life, something that gives us meaning. But here’s the catch: true partnership means that while you’re pursuing your purpose, you’re also honoring your spouse’s purpose. It’s not just about fulfilling your own dreams; it’s about finding a way to encourage each other to chase those dreams together.
When both partners respect and support each other’s individual journeys—without feeling threatened or insecure—it creates a shared sense of fulfillment. Your purpose doesn’t need to overlap at all times, but the understanding and respect for the other’s path is a cornerstone of strong, lasting love.

The Gita speaks about living in the present moment—fully aware of what is, without being bogged down by the past or consumed by the future. In marriage, this is crucial. Too often, we spend more time revisiting old arguments or worrying about what’s next, forgetting to enjoy the now.
Marriage isn’t just about constant communication or grand gestures. It’s about being together in the quiet moments, in the ordinary, where the true beauty lies. So, whether you’re simply sitting in silence after a long day, watching a movie together, or eating dinner without words, these moments matter. True connection isn’t just built in conversations—it’s cultivated in presence.

Finally, love is not an event. It’s a daily choice, a continuous practice. The Gita teaches us that devotion is not a single act; it’s a lifelong journey. Marriage isn’t about finding perfection or waiting for that one magical moment when everything falls into place. It’s about showing up—every day. Love isn’t something you achieve and check off a list; it’s something you live, learn, and nurture.
Each small act of kindness, each moment of patience, each time you choose to show up, matters. This is how love becomes real—by being built, brick by brick, over time. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Create it, every single day.