Lonely in a Crowd? Surrounded by Messages, Starving for Real Connection
Ritika | Aug 30, 2025, 23:15 IST
Sad woman
( Image credit : Freepik )
In a world known for global connectivity at an individual’s fingertips, it is ironic that none of us actually feel connected. Our days might be filled with notifications and calls, but our nights are still empty. The moment the world goes quiet, when we keep our phones away, all we feel is a strange, hollow silence and loneliness. Behind our long Insta-fam list, endless group chats, and happy posts, we actually have nobody to feel connected with. And this, is one common, sad story of this whole generation.
The other night, I stared at my phone at 2 AM, scrolling through WhatsApp groups where people were busy sending memes, while I sat with tears rolling down my cheeks. I had over 200 unread notifications. But not one of them said: “Hey, are you okay?”
Sounds familiar? Because we have all been there and felt that. And what is really funny is the fact that we live in an era where anyone is just one message, one video call, or one phone call away, yet it feels like all this technology, initially made to ensure connections, has, in reality, distanced us, in heart. So, the world might have achieved building endless connections, but the ‘bond’, the ‘understanding’, the ‘intimacy’, are still far, far away.
Let me take you through what I’ve realized about this strange, modern kind of loneliness.
I used to think being “in demand” was proof of being loved. Every ding, every buzz, every heart on Instagram, oh, it gave me a dopamine rush. But then I noticed how hollow it felt.
Take birthdays, for instance. You get 300 “HBD” texts, a bunch of emojis, maybe a few recycled Instagram stories tagging you. But when the cake’s cut and the party’s over, you lie in bed and wonder: Does anyone actually know how I felt turning a year older today?
We mistake quantity for quality. Notifications scream for our attention, but they rarely touch our emotions.
There’s this one WhatsApp group I’m in; it’s got around 150 people. Every day, it’s flooded with memes, reels, and “Good Morning” messages. But when I was going through a real low point and dropped a “Not feeling okay today,” you know how many replied? Two. Out of 150.
And the replies? “Cheer up yaar” and “Go for a walk, bro.” That’s it.
Group chats often give the illusion of community, but when you actually need a hand, you realize how many people are just present, not available.
Instagram is the loneliest place I know. You post a cute selfie, get 200 likes, maybe 20 comments, “slay queen”, and for a moment, you feel adored. But then, you put your phone down, and that gnawing emptiness creeps in again.
Because likes don’t tuck you into bed. Comments don’t hold your hand when your chest feels heavy. Stories don’t wipe your tears.
Let me admit that I am guilty of hiding behind this mask too. Posting a smile when inside, I was breaking.
For me, it’s nights. That’s when modern loneliness really shows its claws. The phone stops buzzing, the fake laughter dies down, and it’s just you, your ceiling fan humming above you, your thoughts running wild, and the realization that you have no one to text who’ll actually “get it.”
Sometimes, I even type out long rants in the Notes app because I don’t know who I can send them to. And then, in a weird, heartbreaking way, the Notes app becomes the best listener I have.
You ever do that? Type it all out, then delete? It’s like screaming into a void, but at least the void doesn’t judge.
Here’s the twisted thing: everyone looks available 24/7 online, but no one truly is. I once called a friend during a breakdown, and she texted back, “Can’t talk rn, what’s up?” Do you know how heavy those words felt? If texts were enough to convey what I’m feeling, I would have just texted and not called. But it is these messages that started making me feel that just because someone is “available” online does not mean they are available for you.
We are actually living in a bubble, a paradox where being available is not in equation to emotional availability. Because mentally or emotionally, we have all become, somewhere or the other, down the road, unreachable. We’re exhausted, over-stimulated, and drowning deep in content, feeding ourselves so much online, yet are starving for a real, raw connection.
I don’t want to end this by just whining about loneliness. Let me share the little things I’ve been trying, maybe they’ll help you too:
1. Voice Notes Over Texts – Sometimes hearing someone’s actual tone feels more comforting than reading “ok.”
2. One Deep Chat a Week – I’ve started picking one person, just one, to call and really talk to. Not gossip, not updates, real stuff.
3. Decluttering Notifications – I muted half my groups. If it doesn’t add value, I don’t need that fake noise.
4. Journaling, But Honestly – Writing not what I should feel, but what I really feel. Even the ugly parts.
5. Be the first to reach out – We all as humans have this tendency to expect someone to notice us, our sadness, our problems, and help us out on our own. Asking for help feels more difficult than taking a loan, as it makes us feel scared, being judged, or laughed at. Sometimes we also feel like reaching out first is a sign of being weak, vulnerable, or being taken for granted. But it doesn’t make you look weak; it’s actually a strength.
As we are occupied befriending people online, accumulating followers, and chatting in groups, we tend to forget that what we really need is not those superficial relationships, but strong bonds.
So, the next time a notification or a random compliment appears online, don't be influenced by it; ask yourself: Is this really making me feel loved and cared for? Do these people actually understand and listen to the real me?
The answers might sadden you a bit, but remember, by treating those as just notifications and not more than that, you are actually prioritising your peace and happiness in the long run. Because the cure to the loneliness in this modern era isn’t thousands of notifications but just a few deep heart-to-heart conversations.
So tonight, maybe call that one friend. Not to share a meme. Not to say “wyd.” But to ask, “How’s your heart doing?”
Trust me, that’s the message we’re all waiting for.
Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Spiritual, Travel, Life Hacks, Trending, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life!
Sounds familiar? Because we have all been there and felt that. And what is really funny is the fact that we live in an era where anyone is just one message, one video call, or one phone call away, yet it feels like all this technology, initially made to ensure connections, has, in reality, distanced us, in heart. So, the world might have achieved building endless connections, but the ‘bond’, the ‘understanding’, the ‘intimacy’, are still far, far away.
Let me take you through what I’ve realized about this strange, modern kind of loneliness.
1. Notifications are Not Equal to Connection
Notifications on phone
( Image credit : Pexels )
I used to think being “in demand” was proof of being loved. Every ding, every buzz, every heart on Instagram, oh, it gave me a dopamine rush. But then I noticed how hollow it felt.
Take birthdays, for instance. You get 300 “HBD” texts, a bunch of emojis, maybe a few recycled Instagram stories tagging you. But when the cake’s cut and the party’s over, you lie in bed and wonder: Does anyone actually know how I felt turning a year older today?
We mistake quantity for quality. Notifications scream for our attention, but they rarely touch our emotions.
2. The Group Chat Illusion
Group chat
( Image credit : Pexels )
There’s this one WhatsApp group I’m in; it’s got around 150 people. Every day, it’s flooded with memes, reels, and “Good Morning” messages. But when I was going through a real low point and dropped a “Not feeling okay today,” you know how many replied? Two. Out of 150.
And the replies? “Cheer up yaar” and “Go for a walk, bro.” That’s it.
Group chats often give the illusion of community, but when you actually need a hand, you realize how many people are just present, not available.
3. Social Media: The Loudest Silent Room
Likes on social media
( Image credit : Pexels )
Instagram is the loneliest place I know. You post a cute selfie, get 200 likes, maybe 20 comments, “slay queen”, and for a moment, you feel adored. But then, you put your phone down, and that gnawing emptiness creeps in again.
Because likes don’t tuck you into bed. Comments don’t hold your hand when your chest feels heavy. Stories don’t wipe your tears.
Let me admit that I am guilty of hiding behind this mask too. Posting a smile when inside, I was breaking.
4. When Loneliness Hits the Loudest
A woman crying
( Image credit : Pexels )
For me, it’s nights. That’s when modern loneliness really shows its claws. The phone stops buzzing, the fake laughter dies down, and it’s just you, your ceiling fan humming above you, your thoughts running wild, and the realization that you have no one to text who’ll actually “get it.”
Sometimes, I even type out long rants in the Notes app because I don’t know who I can send them to. And then, in a weird, heartbreaking way, the Notes app becomes the best listener I have.
You ever do that? Type it all out, then delete? It’s like screaming into a void, but at least the void doesn’t judge.
5. The Cost of “Always Available”
A sad man talking on phone
( Image credit : Pexels )
Here’s the twisted thing: everyone looks available 24/7 online, but no one truly is. I once called a friend during a breakdown, and she texted back, “Can’t talk rn, what’s up?” Do you know how heavy those words felt? If texts were enough to convey what I’m feeling, I would have just texted and not called. But it is these messages that started making me feel that just because someone is “available” online does not mean they are available for you.
We are actually living in a bubble, a paradox where being available is not in equation to emotional availability. Because mentally or emotionally, we have all become, somewhere or the other, down the road, unreachable. We’re exhausted, over-stimulated, and drowning deep in content, feeding ourselves so much online, yet are starving for a real, raw connection.
So, What’s the Solution? (My Inside Tips)
Journaling
( Image credit : Pexels )
I don’t want to end this by just whining about loneliness. Let me share the little things I’ve been trying, maybe they’ll help you too:
1. Voice Notes Over Texts – Sometimes hearing someone’s actual tone feels more comforting than reading “ok.”
2. One Deep Chat a Week – I’ve started picking one person, just one, to call and really talk to. Not gossip, not updates, real stuff.
3. Decluttering Notifications – I muted half my groups. If it doesn’t add value, I don’t need that fake noise.
4. Journaling, But Honestly – Writing not what I should feel, but what I really feel. Even the ugly parts.
5. Be the first to reach out – We all as humans have this tendency to expect someone to notice us, our sadness, our problems, and help us out on our own. Asking for help feels more difficult than taking a loan, as it makes us feel scared, being judged, or laughed at. Sometimes we also feel like reaching out first is a sign of being weak, vulnerable, or being taken for granted. But it doesn’t make you look weak; it’s actually a strength.
Finding the Real in a World of Fake Busy
So, the next time a notification or a random compliment appears online, don't be influenced by it; ask yourself: Is this really making me feel loved and cared for? Do these people actually understand and listen to the real me?
The answers might sadden you a bit, but remember, by treating those as just notifications and not more than that, you are actually prioritising your peace and happiness in the long run. Because the cure to the loneliness in this modern era isn’t thousands of notifications but just a few deep heart-to-heart conversations.
So tonight, maybe call that one friend. Not to share a meme. Not to say “wyd.” But to ask, “How’s your heart doing?”
Trust me, that’s the message we’re all waiting for.
Explore the latest trends and tips in Health & Fitness, Spiritual, Travel, Life Hacks, Trending, Fashion & Beauty, and Relationships at Times Life!