Nobody Marries for Love Anymore. Indians Marry Because It’s Time
Riya Kumari | Jun 05, 2025, 17:38 IST
( Image credit : Freepik, Timeslife )
There’s a moment in every Indian adult’s life—somewhere between deleting Bumble again and attending your seventh wedding in a year—when it hits you: we’re not really marrying for love anymore. We’re marrying because it’s time. Like milk boiling over or that alarm that goes off in your mum’s head the second you turn 27. And honestly? We’re not even shocked. We’ve seen it happen to our cousins, our college exes, and that one friend who still calls their partner “bro” but somehow ended up engaged in Udaipur.
We like to think we’re a country of big hearts and bigger weddings. But beneath the surface of flower showers and drone shots, there's a quieter truth: in India today, most people don’t marry for love. They marry because it’s time. Because they’re “of age.” Because someone somewhere started a clock the moment they turned 25, and now the ticking is too loud to ignore. This isn’t an attack on arranged marriages, or love marriages, or any kind of marriage. It’s a mirror. One we avoid looking into because it shows us something uncomfortable: we’ve traded the search for connection for the comfort of timing. And in doing so, we’ve redefined what it means to commit—not to a person, but to an idea of life we’ve inherited, not chosen.
1. Love is no longer the reason—it’s just a bonus, if you’re lucky.
There was a time, not too long ago, when love was seen as powerful. As something worth waiting for, fighting for. But somewhere in the rush of matching horoscopes, comparing family backgrounds, and “just meeting once,” love got demoted.
Now, love is not the goal. It’s the byproduct you hope develops once the logistics are sorted. You meet someone. They tick the basic boxes. You don’t feel fireworks, but you feel... calm. And that’s enough. Because now, we call that compatibility. We say, “He’s nice,” or “She’s sweet,” like that’s the full arc of human intimacy.
2. “It’s time” has replaced “This is right.”
We don’t ask why we’re marrying. We ask when. And then we wait for everyone else to nod. Parents, friends, colleagues, even society at large. The timeline becomes more important than the connection. The calendar replaces the compass. And here’s the thing: most people aren’t deluded. They know it. They know this isn’t some wild, soul-igniting romance.
But they also know they’re tired. Tired of dating apps. Tired of failed talking stages. Tired of wondering if they’re falling behind in some imaginary race. So they stop asking, “Is this the person I want to grow with?” They start asking, “Can I live with this?”
3. We’ve reduced marriage to a milestone. Not a meaning.
There’s a dangerous kind of emptiness that comes from ticking a box you don’t fully believe in. You can love your wedding photos, love the housewarming party, love the idea of finally being “settled”—and still feel something missing. That something is meaning. Not the Pinterest-board kind. The real kind.
The kind that comes from looking at your partner and knowing: “I chose you. Not because I had to. Not because it was time. But because you make me want to live this life with more honesty, more courage, more joy.” When we marry because it’s time, we give up the chance to know what that kind of love feels like. Not fantasy love. Not movie love. True love. The kind that challenges and grows you.
4. We need to stop calling it settling down. What we’re really doing is just… settling.
This is not a rebellion against marriage. It’s a rebellion against sleepwalking into one. When we say “settling down,” we pretend it’s a reward for growing up. But in truth, many are just settling. For the safest option. The least resistance. The mildest regret.
We tell ourselves we’re choosing peace, but what we’re actually choosing is resignation. And then we call it maturity. As if giving up on deep connection is some kind of adult achievement.
5. The scariest part? We’ve stopped believing love is even real.
We’ve seen too many divorces. Too many miserable couples pretending everything’s fine. Too many weddings that felt like performances. And so now, we quietly adjust our expectations. We tell ourselves love is impractical. Immature. Unrealistic. We say it’s for teenagers and movie scripts.
But that’s not true. What’s unrealistic is expecting happiness from a life chosen out of fear or fatigue. What’s impractical is ignoring the voice in your head that says, “This isn’t it,” just because everyone else thinks it should be.
You don’t owe anyone your timeline. You don’t owe tradition your silence. And you certainly don’t owe yourself a life chosen out of pressure. Marry when it’s right. Or don’t marry at all. But never marry just because it’s time. Because love, real love, doesn’t run on a clock. It runs on courage.
And if you’re brave enough to wait for it—or even walk away from everything that isn’t it—you’ve already done something most people never do. You’ve chosen yourself. And that’s the beginning of every great love story.
1. Love is no longer the reason—it’s just a bonus, if you’re lucky.
Wedding
( Image credit : Pexels )
There was a time, not too long ago, when love was seen as powerful. As something worth waiting for, fighting for. But somewhere in the rush of matching horoscopes, comparing family backgrounds, and “just meeting once,” love got demoted.
Now, love is not the goal. It’s the byproduct you hope develops once the logistics are sorted. You meet someone. They tick the basic boxes. You don’t feel fireworks, but you feel... calm. And that’s enough. Because now, we call that compatibility. We say, “He’s nice,” or “She’s sweet,” like that’s the full arc of human intimacy.
2. “It’s time” has replaced “This is right.”
Dating app
( Image credit : Pexels )
We don’t ask why we’re marrying. We ask when. And then we wait for everyone else to nod. Parents, friends, colleagues, even society at large. The timeline becomes more important than the connection. The calendar replaces the compass. And here’s the thing: most people aren’t deluded. They know it. They know this isn’t some wild, soul-igniting romance.
But they also know they’re tired. Tired of dating apps. Tired of failed talking stages. Tired of wondering if they’re falling behind in some imaginary race. So they stop asking, “Is this the person I want to grow with?” They start asking, “Can I live with this?”
3. We’ve reduced marriage to a milestone. Not a meaning.
Indian marriage
( Image credit : Pexels )
There’s a dangerous kind of emptiness that comes from ticking a box you don’t fully believe in. You can love your wedding photos, love the housewarming party, love the idea of finally being “settled”—and still feel something missing. That something is meaning. Not the Pinterest-board kind. The real kind.
The kind that comes from looking at your partner and knowing: “I chose you. Not because I had to. Not because it was time. But because you make me want to live this life with more honesty, more courage, more joy.” When we marry because it’s time, we give up the chance to know what that kind of love feels like. Not fantasy love. Not movie love. True love. The kind that challenges and grows you.
4. We need to stop calling it settling down. What we’re really doing is just… settling.
At home date
( Image credit : Pexels )
This is not a rebellion against marriage. It’s a rebellion against sleepwalking into one. When we say “settling down,” we pretend it’s a reward for growing up. But in truth, many are just settling. For the safest option. The least resistance. The mildest regret.
We tell ourselves we’re choosing peace, but what we’re actually choosing is resignation. And then we call it maturity. As if giving up on deep connection is some kind of adult achievement.
5. The scariest part? We’ve stopped believing love is even real.
Annoyed couple
( Image credit : Pexels )
We’ve seen too many divorces. Too many miserable couples pretending everything’s fine. Too many weddings that felt like performances. And so now, we quietly adjust our expectations. We tell ourselves love is impractical. Immature. Unrealistic. We say it’s for teenagers and movie scripts.
But that’s not true. What’s unrealistic is expecting happiness from a life chosen out of fear or fatigue. What’s impractical is ignoring the voice in your head that says, “This isn’t it,” just because everyone else thinks it should be.
CLOSING:
And if you’re brave enough to wait for it—or even walk away from everything that isn’t it—you’ve already done something most people never do. You’ve chosen yourself. And that’s the beginning of every great love story.