Self-Respect vs. Feelings: He Expected Her to Forgive, But She Walked Away
Riya Kumari | Jan 30, 2025, 16:02 IST
( Image credit : Pexels )
Let’s talk about that thing we all do but shouldn’t: forgiving the same mistake twice in a relationship. Because once? Fine. We’re human. Things happen. You were in a good mood, the lighting was flattering, they looked at you with those eyes, and suddenly, your backbone evaporated. It happens to the best of us.But twice? Oh, honey. Now we have a problem.
Nobody walks into love thinking, Ah yes, can’t wait to get my heart shattered into a million microscopic pieces. No, we all start with the same fairytale optimism. We believe in love. In second chances. In the idea that maybe, just maybe, we’ve found the one person who will never hurt us. And then, life laughs.
1. The First Time: You Think They’ll Change for You
The first time, you forgive them. Not because you’re naïve, but because you love them. You tell yourself they didn’t mean it, that it was just a mistake. You give them the benefit of the doubt because deep down, you want to believe them. You want to believe you’re different. That for you, they’ll change. You tell them you’re angry, and they apologize—sweet words wrapped in just enough regret to make you think they see you. And because the thought of losing them is unbearable, you let it go. You convince yourself that love wins. That people learn. That this was just a one-time thing.
2. The Second Time: The Lies Just Got Better
But then it happens again. And suddenly, it’s not a mistake—it’s a pattern. You sit there, staring at your pictures together, trying to reconcile reality with the version of them you believed in. How do people pretend so well? How did you not see it? How did you convince yourself that this time, this love, would be the exception? And the worst part? It’s not even just the betrayal. It’s the self-betrayal. The way you ignored the red flags, the gut feelings, the moments that didn’t add up. You let yourself believe in a version of them that never actually existed. And that? That stings the most.
3. The Excuses: Recycled and Worthless
When confronted, they serve you the same scripted lines: I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t know it was that serious. It’s not what you think. And suddenly, you’re exhausted. Because you’ve heard it all before. Because they don’t even try to come up with something new. Because deep down, they know the truth—and they also know you’ve loved them enough to believe their lies before. But not this time.
4. The Realization: You Were Just an Option
Here’s what finally breaks you: realizing that you made them your whole world, but they only ever treated you like an option. You gave them loyalty, patience, forgiveness—while they did whatever made them happy, at your expense. And the weight of that? It’s crushing. But it’s also clarifying. Because when someone shows you—repeatedly—that they don’t respect you, that they won’t choose you the way you chose them, you have two options: continue being their second choice or finally choose yourself.
5. The Hardest Choice: But the Right One
So, you do the thing you should have done a long time ago—you walk away. Not because you don’t love them, but because you finally love yourself more. It hurts like hell. But you realize what hurts more is staying. Staying in a cycle that will never change. Staying with someone who takes, takes, takes—and never gives you the love, security, or respect you deserve. Once? That could have been a mistake. Twice? That’s who they are. And you? You’re not here to teach someone how to love you. You’re not here to accept less than you give. You’re not here to spend your life waiting for someone to maybe grow into the person they should have been from the start. So, you let them go. You grieve, you heal, you reclaim yourself. And one day, when you look back, you’ll know—this was the moment you finally chose you.
1. The First Time: You Think They’ll Change for You
Forgive
( Image credit : Pexels )
The first time, you forgive them. Not because you’re naïve, but because you love them. You tell yourself they didn’t mean it, that it was just a mistake. You give them the benefit of the doubt because deep down, you want to believe them. You want to believe you’re different. That for you, they’ll change. You tell them you’re angry, and they apologize—sweet words wrapped in just enough regret to make you think they see you. And because the thought of losing them is unbearable, you let it go. You convince yourself that love wins. That people learn. That this was just a one-time thing.
2. The Second Time: The Lies Just Got Better
Hide
But then it happens again. And suddenly, it’s not a mistake—it’s a pattern. You sit there, staring at your pictures together, trying to reconcile reality with the version of them you believed in. How do people pretend so well? How did you not see it? How did you convince yourself that this time, this love, would be the exception? And the worst part? It’s not even just the betrayal. It’s the self-betrayal. The way you ignored the red flags, the gut feelings, the moments that didn’t add up. You let yourself believe in a version of them that never actually existed. And that? That stings the most.
3. The Excuses: Recycled and Worthless
Apologize
( Image credit : Pexels )
When confronted, they serve you the same scripted lines: I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t know it was that serious. It’s not what you think. And suddenly, you’re exhausted. Because you’ve heard it all before. Because they don’t even try to come up with something new. Because deep down, they know the truth—and they also know you’ve loved them enough to believe their lies before. But not this time.
4. The Realization: You Were Just an Option
Love
( Image credit : Pexels )
Here’s what finally breaks you: realizing that you made them your whole world, but they only ever treated you like an option. You gave them loyalty, patience, forgiveness—while they did whatever made them happy, at your expense. And the weight of that? It’s crushing. But it’s also clarifying. Because when someone shows you—repeatedly—that they don’t respect you, that they won’t choose you the way you chose them, you have two options: continue being their second choice or finally choose yourself.
5. The Hardest Choice: But the Right One
Walk away
( Image credit : Pexels )
So, you do the thing you should have done a long time ago—you walk away. Not because you don’t love them, but because you finally love yourself more. It hurts like hell. But you realize what hurts more is staying. Staying in a cycle that will never change. Staying with someone who takes, takes, takes—and never gives you the love, security, or respect you deserve. Once? That could have been a mistake. Twice? That’s who they are. And you? You’re not here to teach someone how to love you. You’re not here to accept less than you give. You’re not here to spend your life waiting for someone to maybe grow into the person they should have been from the start. So, you let them go. You grieve, you heal, you reclaim yourself. And one day, when you look back, you’ll know—this was the moment you finally chose you.