Stop Telling Women to Smile—We’re Not Here to Entertain You

\Why do some men believe women owe them a smile? Spoiler: We don’t. Not on the street, not at work, not while grabbing coffee, and definitely not on demand. Yet somehow, society acts like women’s faces come with a built-in obligation to look cheerful 24/7. If we’re not flashing a perfect smile like we’re auditioning for a toothpaste commercial, it’s suddenly a problem. Well, here’s a newsflash: We’re not here to accessorize your day with our joy.

Want a cheerful face? Buy a puppy.

Let’s get one thing clear: the demand for women to smile is never really about the smile. It’s about control. It’s about a world that’s been conditioned to expect women to always be pleasing, palatable, and pretty. A woman with a serious face, God forbid, disrupts this expectation. Suddenly, she’s a buzzkill, a rebel, or worse—a man-hater.

If men are allowed to walk around brooding like misunderstood poets or stock-photo CEOs deep in thought, why can’t we women embrace our resting serious face (or, as it’s unfairly branded, resting bitch face) without becoming a social project?

Oh, and if we do smile? Don’t mistake it as an invitation. It’s not. Sometimes we smile because we’re thinking about memes, or pizza, or that moment when karma will catch up with certain people. It’s rarely for you.
The request—or rather, command—to smile might seem harmless. But let’s not kid ourselves. It’s a microaggression wrapped in a ribbon of faux niceness.
It’s not cute; it’s condescending.
It’s not polite; it’s patronizing.

Here’s a handy breakdown:


We live in a world where women are expected to be everything at once—strong but gentle, ambitious but humble, independent but not too much. And on top of that, we’re supposed to smile through it all?

Sorry, but smiling while being underpaid, underestimated, and constantly scrutinized isn’t a personality trait. It’s emotional labor. And frankly, it’s exhausting.

The demand to smile reduces us to props in someone else’s play. It ignores our inner worlds—our struggles, our triumphs, our damn right to be in a bad mood. Some days, we’re riding high; other days, life feels like that one episode of Friends where everything goes wrong at once. Either way, we don’t owe anyone a visual performance of joy.
Let’s be honest—if a man tells you to smile, it’s never because he’s genuinely concerned about your well-being. No man in history has thought, “She looks stressed—perhaps my unsolicited advice will improve her day.” It’s always about optics. A smiling woman is less threatening, easier to digest. She’s the perfect background character in the male-dominated narrative.

But we’re not here to be sidekicks in someone else’s story. We’re the protagonists—moody, complex, ambitious, human. We’ll smile when we want to, laugh when it feels right, and frown unapologetically if that’s what the day calls for.

Ever noticed how men with serious faces are seen as powerful or contemplative? He must be solving world problems in his head! Meanwhile, a woman with the same expression is labeled as cold, unapproachable, or worse—angry.

Here’s the tea: we’re not angry; we’re tired. Tired of expectations. Tired of playing nice. Tired of carrying the emotional weight of keeping everyone around us comfortable.

Also, why does nobody ask men to smile more? Imagine telling Christian Bale or Virat Kohli, “Smile! You’d look so much friendlier!” Yeah, it doesn’t happen.
Here’s a revolutionary idea: Maybe women aren’t smiling because they’re tired. Not tired from lack of sleep—tired of this never-ending performance. We’ve been taught to be small, agreeable, and pleasant for far too long. Smiling through the nonsense feels like putting whipped cream on garbage—it doesn’t make it better.

And for the record, smiling won’t protect us from street harassment, fix pay gaps, or magically make our bosses less sexist. So please, stop acting like our mood is your business.
What’s behind the obsession with female smiles? Control. Smiling women are non-threatening. Serious women? Terrifying. A woman who isn’t smiling is unpredictable, unapologetic, and unafraid. That’s scary to people who thrive on control and compliance.

It’s easier to digest a woman who looks happy—even if she’s not—than one who refuses to conform to the “good girl” script.

There’s this weird expectation that women must always be approachable. We should be easygoing, friendly, and ready to smile at anyone who crosses our path. But the truth is, being approachable is overrated.

Why should we constantly perform likability? We’re not products for you to review with five stars on Yelp. And honestly, what’s so wrong with not wanting to be approached? Sometimes we want peace, not small talk.

Simple: Mind your own face. If a woman isn’t smiling, it’s not your job to investigate. She’s not a broken doll that needs fixing. She’s a human with a full range of emotions. Respect that.

Instead of saying, “Smile!” try saying nothing at all. Revolutionary, right? Trust me, no woman will be disappointed if you skip the smile request. They won’t wonder, “Oh no! How will I survive the day without that unsolicited advice?”

The next time you feel tempted to tell a woman to smile, pause for a second. Ask yourself:

If the answer to any of those is yes, don’t do it. Women don’t exist to brighten your day. We’re not accessories. We have thoughts, emotions, and—believe it or not—bad days, just like men.

So, no, we’re not going to smile on command. We’ll smile when we’re happy, smirk when we’re feeling mischievous, and stay serious when the moment calls for it. And if that makes anyone uncomfortable, well, that’s a you problem.