"Don’t Live With Parents for 5 Years After Marriage", Say Relationship Experts

For many couples, falling in love and getting married feels simple. Building a healthy, long lasting marriage is the part that requires effort, intention and understanding. Relationship experts often advise couples to give their marriage space in the early years so they can build a strong emotional foundation.

One such expert is relationship counsellor and author Ajay K Pandey. On October 18, he shared an Instagram post titled "Don't live with your parents for first 5 years of marriage. But why?" In his caption, he wrote, “Always give priority to your wife.” His message focuses on how couples can balance family, personal space and love in the first few years of marriage.

Ajay listed seven explanations for this advice. Each explanation highlights the emotional and psychological needs of a new marriage.



Ajay explains that a spouse chooses to build a life with her partner, not with the entire family. Her dreams and expectations are centered around the relationship, not the extended household.

He adds that when a husband spends too much time fulfilling family expectations, the spouse may feel ignored or emotionally sidelined. Early neglect can harm long term trust and emotional closeness.

Living in a joint family can sometimes expose a new spouse to criticism or instructions about behaviour, clothing, cooking or communication. According to Ajay, this constant correction can weaken a person’s confidence and sense of self.

A married partner should feel safe, respected and free to express their personality. A home that constantly evaluates or regulates behaviour can create emotional stress and insecurity.

The first few years of marriage are important for building intimacy. Ajay warns that in a larger household, daily routines and responsibilities can take priority over romance.

Morning duties, social obligations and family rituals may leave little room for conversations, connection or shared moments. When romance fades, a marriage may start feeling like a routine rather than a partnership.

Ajay points out that freedom is essential for a healthy relationship. Living with parents can unintentionally turn this freedom into a permission based lifestyle.

Simple plans such as going out for a drive or returning home late may come with questions, judgement or obligations. Over time, this reduces spontaneity, comfort and individual identity.

Emotional and physical intimacy grow in private spaces. Ajay highlights that couples need time alone without interruptions or expectations from others.

Privacy allows couples to speak openly, express their feelings and build deeper connection. In a house with limited personal space, this intimacy can be affected.



Ajay explains that emotional closeness should not mean constant presence. Every individual needs personal space to think, relax and pursue their interests.

If a couple is surrounded by family all the time, they may feel overwhelmed or suffocated. Space allows both partners to grow individually and return to the relationship with more clarity and emotional balance.

According to Ajay, living independently for a few years helps couples create their own routines, rules and relationship culture. This independence strengthens understanding and cooperation.

Simple experiences such as cooking together, managing expenses or spending relaxed evenings without expectations help partners form deeper companionship.