Why Good Indian Women Are Done Trying to Be "Wife Material"
Riya Kumari | Jul 11, 2025, 23:45 IST
( Image credit : Unsplash, Timeslife )
By the time you're old enough to know what “turmeric latte” means, someone’s already asking when you’ll make a “good wife.” Spoiler alert: That ship has sailed, sunk, and been made into a Netflix documentary. So here’s the scene: I’m 29, drinking overpriced coffee in a ceramic mug that probably has more personality than some of the rishtas I’ve been shown
There comes a point in every woman’s life, sometimes at 27, sometimes at 47, when she sits quietly with herself and realizes: I gave everything… and still they asked for more. Not love. Not partnership. Not mutual respect. But more of her — her time, her effort, her silence, her ability to endure without complaining, her skill to serve without recognition. And it’s in that still moment, in that quiet heartbreak, she finally sees it for what it was.

They’ll say “I never asked you to,”
And suddenly, your love becomes your own fault. Your care becomes an inconvenience. Your selflessness becomes… irrelevant.

While You Say Yes, Crying Inside. They don’t think twice before declining. No hesitation. No guilt. They cancel plans. Forget calls. Delay responses. They act like nothing is owed. Not even basic explanation. But you,

She’s the cook. The cleaner. The healer. The breadwinner. She remembers everyone’s birthdays, medicines, allergies, and moods. She handles tantrums, of children and adults alike. And still, she is not spared.

She builds a human inside her. Endures physical pain, mental chaos, hormonal storms. And still shows up for the family. She walks with swollen ankles and cooks for others. She wakes up every two hours for a baby, and no one wakes up for her. And yet, she is made to feel ordinary.

He Runs to Women Who Feel Like a Recess.
He calls them “fun.” He calls her “too much.”
Because she reminds him of responsibility. Of reality. Of how much he owes and doesn’t give.
He romanticizes silence over substance. Carefreeness over commitment. Escape over effort.
She was a home in a world that only wanted hotel rooms.
She was the light they kept using without ever changing the bulb. She was the anchor and they kept complaining the ship wasn’t flying. But now, she’s done. Not out of bitterness. Out of clarity. Because being everything to people who treated you like nothing is not love. It’s self-abandonment dressed as loyalty. And she’s finally choosing herself. Not because she stopped loving. But because she realized her love deserves to be met, not managed.
The woman who gave you everything? You don’t get another one like her. Not in this life. Not in the next.
And when she leaves, it won’t be loud. It’ll be quiet. Powerful. And permanent.
1. You Can Give Everything and Still Hear, “Did I Ask?”
Watering plants
( Image credit : Pexels )
- You can give your energy, your care, your softness.
- You can listen when no one listens to you.
- You can anticipate needs before they’re spoken.
- You can show up, stay up, clean up.
- You can forget your own hunger to serve someone else’s.
They’ll say “I never asked you to,”
And suddenly, your love becomes your own fault. Your care becomes an inconvenience. Your selflessness becomes… irrelevant.
2. They Say No Without Flinching
No
( Image credit : Freepik )
While You Say Yes, Crying Inside. They don’t think twice before declining. No hesitation. No guilt. They cancel plans. Forget calls. Delay responses. They act like nothing is owed. Not even basic explanation. But you,
- You say yes while breaking.
- You apologize for needing.
- You justify your existence.
- You hope your consistency will earn you care in return.
3. She Does It All And Still Gets Broken
Sad
( Image credit : Pexels )
She’s the cook. The cleaner. The healer. The breadwinner. She remembers everyone’s birthdays, medicines, allergies, and moods. She handles tantrums, of children and adults alike. And still, she is not spared.
- She gets cheated on, disrespected, yelled at.
- Her mental health gets dismissed as “overthinking.”
- Her pain is called drama.
- Her breakdowns are labeled as weakness.
4. Even Pregnancy Isn’t Enough to Be Seen
Depth
( Image credit : Pexels )
She builds a human inside her. Endures physical pain, mental chaos, hormonal storms. And still shows up for the family. She walks with swollen ankles and cooks for others. She wakes up every two hours for a baby, and no one wakes up for her. And yet, she is made to feel ordinary.
- Like pregnancy is her duty, not a miracle.
- Like motherhood is expected, not honored.
- She’s treated as replaceable. Disposable.
5. She Loves Him Like a Mother
Hug
( Image credit : Unsplash )
He Runs to Women Who Feel Like a Recess.
- She knows his triggers, calms his rage, loves his wounds.
- She loves him through his worst days.
- Builds him from nothing.
- Stands by him when no one else does.
He calls them “fun.” He calls her “too much.”
Because she reminds him of responsibility. Of reality. Of how much he owes and doesn’t give.
He romanticizes silence over substance. Carefreeness over commitment. Escape over effort.
The Truth Is, She Was Never the Problem
She was the light they kept using without ever changing the bulb. She was the anchor and they kept complaining the ship wasn’t flying. But now, she’s done. Not out of bitterness. Out of clarity. Because being everything to people who treated you like nothing is not love. It’s self-abandonment dressed as loyalty. And she’s finally choosing herself. Not because she stopped loving. But because she realized her love deserves to be met, not managed.
The woman who gave you everything? You don’t get another one like her. Not in this life. Not in the next.
And when she leaves, it won’t be loud. It’ll be quiet. Powerful. And permanent.